01
Poem says: "When there is a limit to the end of the world, there is only endless lovesickness."
In the poems of the ancients, love is always beautiful and sacred. But real life is far from poetry. When people reach middle age, who doesn’t look like a mess?
Men want to make money, women want to be housekeepers, and they all perform their duties. The middle-aged time has been through. But after middle age, the children grow up and the parents grow older, and the role of each family member quietly changes.
Generally speaking, after the age of forties or fifties, the family's economic pressure will be relatively reduced, and men will gradually relax, but women will become busier.
Theorist Fuller once said: "Having a good wife and a healthy body is the greatest wealth of a man."
As a woman, in addition to the role of a wife, she also plays the role of a mother, a tutor, a mother-in-law, a housekeeper, a daughter-in-law, a neighbor, etc. If any character is screwed up, the family will fall into chaos.
Ming Dynasty thinker Yuan Liaofan 's mother Li, who managed the family in an orderly manner when her husband died early and she was a stepmother and biological mother. Its approach is also worth learning from.
02
First, manage the family's money bag well and have a foundation in life.
When chatting, people are used to calling women "housekeepers". Many families have good conditions, but they can't afford to hire a housekeeper, so women take on the role of a housekeeper and need to be careful in life.
If a woman is careless and has no control over spending money, no matter how hard a man works, his family will become poor. When a family is unable to make ends meet, men have no intention of making money.
Yuan Liaofan's mother Li has three sons, her husband and ex-wife have two sons, which shows the burden of the family. In order to maintain life, Li insisted on letting his family live a frugal life. Winter is coming, and my son plans to make cotton coats. Li said that the cotton coat is very thick. If you use all cotton , it is not cost-effective. You can add cheap thread in the middle of the cotton. The effect is the same, but it saves money.
When saving money, Li often helps the poor. She can always give enough money to poor vendors. She said that giving one more cent of silver at a time also reflects love.
A woman can manage her money to a level of "no difference", so her family will naturally not be short of money.
The greatest confidence is to have money in the family. But money is not groundless, but is cut out. After all, even if a person has three heads and six arms, his income will not satisfy everyone. stingy is a compulsory course for women.
03
Second, learn to teach students according to their aptitude, and their children have a future.
How to educate children, many parents do what the teacher says, and they will also learn from the practices of neighbors and relatives.
The woman takes on the task of taking care of her husband and children, and her words and deeds are a banner in the eyes of her children. Therefore, you cannot follow the crowd and have your own opinions and ideas.
Li arranged for his third son Yuan Shang to study medicine, but her husband disagreed. But later, Yuan Shanglu went to study medicine.
The fourth son Yuan Liaofan also went to study medicine under the arrangement of his mother. But after meeting Mr. Kong, Yuan Liaofan changed his mind and wanted to get a fame and fortune. My mother agreed to his request and sent him to a nearby school.
Obviously, the education methods of treating the two sons are different and can be adapted.
In terms of education, if you have your own opinions and be able to adapt, your children's studies will be energetic and they will have a greater future.
Good woman, prosperous for three generations. It is mainly reflected in educating children.
04
Third, handle the relationship between mother-in-law, mother-in-law and son-in-law, and the family will be more harmonious.
The children have grown up and got married, so the Li family let the children separate.
Li's second wife sent Hu Song, a child from the family, to give Li a bowl of mandarin fish soup. Halfway through, Hu Song secretly ate the fish.
After a while, the second wife walked up to Li and asked, "Is mandarin fish still delicious?"
Li was stunned for a while, and then said, "It's delicious."
After the daughter-in-law figured out the whole story, Li explained : "The little boy ate it, but we can't punish him for his fault."
A small matter of giving soup has educated the daughter-in-law to understand what tolerance is and what understanding is.
Many women, after becoming mother-in-law, want to impose all the hardships they have suffered on their daughter-in-law. This is the attitude of "turning over and being the master".
As the head of the family, women should be even more timid and find a way to treat their daughter-in-law and son-in-law as their family members. Once is treated as your own, the family will be harmonious and it will be easier for generations to get along with each other.
There is no need to use the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war" to reflect whose prestige and status. A good "pillar" actually uses softness to overcome hardness.
05
Fourth, try to be considerate of your neighbors and improve your living environment.
In ancient times, Mencius' mother made the move to "three migrations" to change the living environment.
However, migration requires money, and reintegrating into a place requires a lot of effort. Most families cannot be moved at will.
Therefore, it is more reliable to learn to get along with your neighbors.
The neighbor of Yuan Liaofan’s family, Shen, saw the branches of the peach tree in Yuan’s family stretched across the wall and saw them broken. Li said that it is wrong to occupy other people's space and should be sawed off.
The Shen family has jujube tree stretched over the wall. Li said, don’t eat the dates secretly, and picked them up and gave them to Shen.
Someone in the Shen family fell ill, and the mother took her neighbors around to raise some money as medical expenses.
people's hearts are full of flesh. As long as you are friendly to others and understand other people's difficulties, you can influence each other. If you have done a lot of good things and your neighbors don’t appreciate it, it means you have not yet broken down the other party’s hatred from the bottom of your heart.
As long as there is no conflict in the neighborhood, the family will be more peaceful and the children will be safer.
06
Fifth, do not be biased or favored towards children, and reduce family conflicts.
As the saying goes, "Stepmothers are not biological mothers, they are always separated from each other."
How to be a good stepmother is not as simple as giving money to their stepchildren. The key is to communicate with each other and take care of their stepchildren.
Li's biological son made new clothes, but he could not wear them because his stepchild's clothes were not ready yet. Only when all the children have new clothes can they "show off" together.
Li thought about the academic and the cost of starting a family for his stepchildren. Usually, everyone will "have one" for fruits and other things at home.
After entering the house, the daughter-in-law said this sentence : "That is, the biological mother, why is it beyond this?"
The stepmother is also a mother. Such warmth is fully reflected in Li. Any emotion is "everyone's" and there is no need to distinguish "your or mine".
Parents are getting older and their children are growing up. Therefore, parents should consider the issue of dividing the family and dividing the property. If there is a slight deviation and the work is arbitrary, the children will have opinions, which will lead to conflicts between brothers and sisters.
Only by insisting on fairness and justice, and using emotions to influence children's son-in-law and daughter-in-law, can we make everyone's psychological balance.
07
After middle age, women have grown older, but they are busier.
Helps take care of grandchildren, make reunion dinners during festivals, deal with family conflicts, take care of old men, clean up... These tasks are all focused on women.
Maybe, a woman has never made a lot of money in her life, but her love and labor are priceless.
It is said that men have third-class grades, "The inferior man blames his wife, the middle-class man loves his wife, and the superior man is afraid of his wife."
hopes that men all over the world will love the woman who is willing to accompany you until old age; all children understand the difficulties of their mothers; all daughters-in-law respect their mothers.
Gorky said: "All the glory and pride in the world come from my mother.”
Wish your children, treat your mother kindly, and don’t let your mother work too hard.
Wish your husband, treat your wife kindly, and don’t bury your wife’s credit.
Author: Common people and coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
Pictures in the text are from the Internet.
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