The TV series "To Our Youth That Will Be Away" Li Weijuan is a very realistic girl. Since she was poor since childhood, her criteria for choosing a spouse are first of all, and secondly, the other ones.
I am very lucky. Li Weijuan talked about a rich second-generation boyfriend, and the other party was willing to spend money on her, such as brand-name bags and luxury jewelry. As long as Li Weijuan liked it, she would give it to her.
It’s a pity that such a life did not last long.
One day, Li Weijuan fell in love with a newly released bag and wanted her boyfriend to buy it for her, but her boyfriend was abnormal and looked impatient.
So Li Weijuan started to get angry. She thought her boyfriend would coax her, but the other party didn't even look at her. Li Weijuan left in anger.
The two of them had not contacted each other for about two or three days, and finally Li Weijuan took the initiative to bow her head, and the other party was willing to meet her.
However, when Li Weijuan came to the appointment, the other party was driving a convertible, and another girl was sitting in the co-pilot in the car. Her boyfriend declared the end of the relationship between the two in such an almost cruel way.
Li Weijuan thought that as long as she spent the man’s money, she would lock the other party by her side, but the facts proved that her idea was wrong.
From this we can see that the psychological unspoken rule of conquering a man is never to spend his money, but to spend his heart.
Sunning cost effect : Those costs that cannot be recovered happen to be people's weaknesses
01), Xiao Wang bought two movie tickets and planned to invite the partner he had a crush to watch a movie on the weekend, but the other party had something to do on the weekend and couldn't go to the appointment.
At this time, the money spent on buying movie tickets is sunk cost .
In economics, the costs spent to accomplish something, and these costs will not be reaped as decisions change, these are sunk costs.
In psychology, people generally have the nature of losing and aversion, and people are more sensitive to losses than they gain, so they often care more about what they will lose.
From this perspective, when we get along with men, we can make good use of this psychological effect.
02), Some people may say that spending money is also a way for men to sink costs.
It is true that money is also a cost, but it should also be determined by the situation.
If money is a scarce resource for the other party, then spending a man’s money will increase his sunk costs, which will make him cherish the feelings he already has because he is afraid of losing.
But if money is not a scarce resource for the other party, then it is meaningless for us to spend the other party’s money, because it does not constitute the other party’s loss.
Therefore, we need to prescribe the right medicine and should consume men's scarce resources, such as time, emotions, etc.
We must learn to guide men to give, and it is not impossible to take the initiative to ask for it
mentioned above that spending money will not completely conquer a man by us. For gender relations, money is dynamically developed, and even if it is spent at the moment, it is all done. , will also have it in the future.
may have different emotions. It is often static. If you get used to a certain pattern, it is difficult to change in a short period of time. This is why we have to learn to spend a man's heart.
At this time, we need to learn to guide men to make emotional contributions for themselves.
The rose in " Little Prince " looks ordinary. Compared with the flowers on the earth, it has no outstanding features, but it is such a flower that cannot allow any plant to take its place. Why is this?
The reason is that when the little prince planted it, he spent his time, energy and emotions, which could not be recovered, so it could attract the little prince's attention.
Therefore, when we are with men, we might as well do this. Of course, don’t feel embarrassed to take the initiative to ask for it.
In fact, when we feel embarrassed, we essentially reserve a way out for ourselves in this relationship, which is not conducive to the management of the relationship.
We need the other party to spend time with us, we need to accompany us to eat and go shopping when we are not busy, and we need to consume the other party's emotional cost and make ourselves have an irreplaceable position in the other party's heart.
Flowering a man's heart can make the other party truly rely on himself
There is a "21-day law" in psychology. That is, if we can do something with opinions for twenty-one days, then during these twenty-one days, we will gradually get used to such a process.
Habit is a powerful existence. It will enter our lives in a slight way and enter our lives everywhere, allowing us to accept it subtly, unable to leave it, or even rely on it.
Habits will exist in every part of our daily life, and will make us think of it involuntarily no matter what we do.
And the heart of a man is like this.
When we ask men to spend time with us and take time to go shopping and eat with us, it is a process of gradually cultivating the other person's love.
As time goes by, men's subconscious will form such a pattern and will rely on us spiritually.
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