Friendship is like aged wine, the longer it goes, the more mellow it becomes. However, this jar of wine also needs to be sealed. If the wine is not sealed well, it will not take long for it to deteriorate.

Text/Xia Mo

01, Preface

Friendship is like aged wine. The longer it goes, the more mellow it will be. However, this jar of wine also needs to be sealed. If the wine is not sealed well, it will not take long for it to deteriorate.

The ancient Chinese educator Confucius once said: "It is a great pleasure to have friends come from afar."

China is a country of "etiquette". When people get along with each other, they often use the method of "reciprocity" to maintain and manage a precious friendship.

It is the custom to entertain guests at weddings and funerals, children going to college, birthdays, etc. "Subsistence" has become a traditional custom.

However, some "friendships" are just acquaintances and acquaintances, but the other party's invitation is still handed to your hand. Just to collect an extra share of money.

When people reach middle age, they have many social interactions that they are not familiar with, and there is really no need to maintain them. There is really no need to follow the following types of gifts as they are not worth it.

02. People who have not been in contact for a long time, no friendship

In life, everyone will meet various people. When you meet a close person, you are filled with joy, because there is now an extra bright light on the road of life.

Just like Lu Sihao wrote in "May Someone Accompany You in Wandering": "I am very happy that you can come, and I am not sorry that you left."

However, not everyone you meet will treat you sincerely. .

If a person hasn't contacted you for a long time and there is no friendship between you, there is no need to keep in touch.

Don’t think about the relationship between people so complicated, and there is no need to make everyone like you.

If a person has not contacted you for a long time, and you can hardly remember the person's appearance, and you suddenly send him an invitation, you can just turn a blind eye.

When you reach middle age, you don’t have to be afraid of losing a friend, because there are not many people with whom you can have more interactions in life. People who only think of you when something happens and let you follow them may not necessarily have true feelings for you. .

Instead of maintaining this low-quality social relationship, it is better to break it off.

You don’t have to be friends with everyone in life. It is enough to have a few friends who understand you, support you, and are comfortable with you.

If a person hasn't contacted you for a long time, but he asks you to follow him, you don't have to constantly embarrass yourself, and choosing to refuse is a sensible way to live.

03. People with bad character should no longer interact with each other.

Friendship with poor character will be like a spoiled cake. If not cleaned up in time, it will pollute your originally clean social circle.

Yu Qiuyu wrote in "Cultural Journey": "The corruption of friendship begins with exploitation."

On the road of life, invitations from "friends" will let you see the true face of a relationship.

Someone who is seeking profit will seek your share of money; someone who is seeking vanity will show off his life in front of you; someone who is seeking your happiness will let you see his current predicament and let you extend your hand to help him.

For many people, the purpose of issuing an invitation may not be simple. People with poor character often use "banquets" to connect with each other and achieve their own goals.

does not share your views and is not a friend on the same road, so stop being considerate and friendly with her. Cut it off when it's time to do so, don't interact with it, and the farther away you are, the safer you can be.

Roland once said in "Roland's Little Words": "If a person relies too much on friendship, what he gets from friendship is not happiness, but more distress."

When people reach middle age, for low quality, let You don’t need to add any obstacles to the social interactions that bother you, and you don’t need to interact with them.

04. People who are greedy for small profits and have insufficient inner cultivation.

Lu Xun once said in "Selected Works of Lu Xun": "Friendship is two hearts treating each other sincerely, rather than one heart beating another heart."

people arrived In middle age, stay away from people who take advantage of you. always wants to take advantage. When you follow others, you give him 500 red envelopes. When you have something to do, he will give you 300 in return.

seems to maintain "reciprocity", but in fact everything is calculated.Being with someone who cares about everything will make you feel tired.

If all you get in interpersonal interactions are bad experiences, then there is no need to maintain this relationship.

When faced with people who are greedy for small profits in "share money", stay away as soon as possible. Because people who love to take advantage often have insufficient inner cultivation.

If a person has poor internal cultivation and is greedy for small profits, he may hurt you or plot against you for greater interests in the future.

Communications between people are meant to support each other. If a person always wants to get more benefits from you, there is no need to always compromise.

Learn to break away from people who are greedy for small profits, and you will live an easier life.

05. Summary

When people reach middle age, there is no need to contact some people; there is no need to follow some gifts.

Joseph Addison once said: "The three necessary elements of a happy life are something to do, something to love, and something to look forward to."

The older people get, the more they understand that it is better to please yourself than to please others. Much more. For those on the edge of the world, if you don’t really want to get closer, just give up.

There is no need to have too close acquaintances with friends who have bad character and always like to take advantage of them. No one will suffer forever, and you are not obliged to pamper or pamper others all the time.

The more equal the business relationship, the longer the benefits will be.

For those relationships that cannot last, those who are destined to drift away from you, stop being polite and don't have any expectations for such relationships.

Life, after all, requires us to walk in the world by ourselves. Low-quality social networking will not only not help you, but will also drag you down. Stay away from low-quality social interactions, give up unnecessary gifts, and leave more time and energy to make yourself happy.

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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional mentor, a psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer with over 1 billion people on the Internet, and a manager of happy women. He has focused on emotions, gender, and answering questions about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.