When a person lives in the world, there is actually only one thing to do well. If you really understand it, you won’t be tired.

Wen\Jiang Zuo Mei Niang

01.Import

Charlotte said in "The whole body of Jane Eyre, please don’t quote p

block0" Love, soul and power are generously given as gifts, wasted in places that are not needed and despised."

It is right to say that self-love is the foundation of being a person, and only those who know self-love can live well. In their own life, some people didn't realize the mystery of this sentence until middle age. In fact, when people live in the world, there is only one thing to do well, and that is: love yourself. When you understand, you won’t be tired.

02. Case (authorized)

Hello, Mei Niang, I am a woman who has been divorced for two years. I have been in love with my current boyfriend for more than 1 year. I have always believed that the relationship between each other is very stable. In fact, at the beginning, I didn’t want to associate with him. He was 3 years younger than me and his job was not stable. In short, I felt that he could not give me enough sense of security. A little bit, so I did not directly refuse.

Actually, since the day we met, he has always confessed to me, saying that he really likes me, doesn’t mind my age, doesn’t mind if I have children dragged down, and wants to have a better future with me. I am very moved. The divorce has been so long, and the first time I met such an infatuated confession, I was tempted.

But later,I found that he actually liked playing cards a little bit (good bet), but because we already had feelings between us, I was reluctant to leave him.

From the first month we met, he was unemployed. During this period, he spent a lot of money. Seeing that he was embarrassed, I helped him return more than 5,000 credit cards. He was very moved. Hold me and say, he is a potential stock, let me believe him, after following him, there will be a good life, I think about it, women always depend on men in the end, then men help him in the initial stage, so Yes, I can live a good life with him in the future, isn't this also good for me?

Later, he wanted to invest in a bakery and asked me to ask for 20,000 yuan. I also thought he was doing business and I should help him, so I gave it quickly, but who knows, only After operating for more than half a month, the business couldn't continue, and I had no choice but to close it. If I didn't get my money back, I lost another 20,000 yuan.

But he still convinced me that he said that the failure of opening the store was mainly caused by the epidemic. When the epidemic is over, he can earn money. Now he is ready to open didi to earn money, and I put out my savings again. 80,000 yuan, let him buy a car and drive.

He didn’t open it for a long time, and he suffered from cervical spondylosis, and finally was unemployed. I finally asked a friend to help him find a job, but after he went, he said that it was too hard and he was going to go. He works at his friend's company.

He finally went to work, but he couldn't see his money. The last time he was on a business trip, he also asked me to pay a few thousand yuan in advance. That's not counting. He almost always has to entertain at work every day, and he often returns late. Home, I put forward many opinions to him about this, but he didn't take it to heart. He lives in my house now,Sometimes he quarreled with my mother, and then he thought that I was never on his side, saying that he was under the fence.

The last time we were going to collect the certificate, he suddenly evaporated on the same day. I asked why he had to add his name on my real estate certificate before asking me to get the certificate. I'm not stupid, and I'm naturally unhappy, but I came up with a compromise. I said that we can buy a house again so that we can write the names of the two of us, but he said that he has no money. I said I will pay the down payment and pay the monthly payment together. He is not happy.

Anyway, he finally agreed, and then he said that after buying the house, he would take his parents to live in. I also agreed immediately, but he also asked that my family cannot live in our new The house said that I was afraid that the two parents would not get along well together, and I agreed, but he went home after being drunk that day. The more I wanted to get more angry, I argued with him a few words, and he became angry. Then I packed my bag and left.

I didn't answer his phone call, but just sent a WeChat message to tell me to break up, and told me to calculate how much he owed me, so that I could return it to me in the future, lest I look down on him.

My heart is broken, I think I am so good to him, and he still thinks I am not good enough to him, saying that I am guarding him, saying that I look down on him, and he doesn't want to look at my face. Over the past few years, I have been paying for it. I really don’t know where I failed, and I’m tired. I asked my girlfriends, but they said that I don't love myself too much, but in fact I pay much attention to maintenance and beauty, and I also use big brands in skin care products.

03. Mei Niang said

dear,Hello, thank you for your trust. After reading your letter, I almost laughed. I was thinking, is this man handsome, otherwise, why are you so obsessed with this soft rice man?

Your girlfriend is very wise, so cherish it. She saw through the nature of your injury at a glance. At the beginning of your letter, you said that women should treat themselves a little better. I think what you meant was that as a divorced middle-aged woman, someone can chase after you, and someone can tolerate the fact that you have children. Love is very rare, so you have to enjoy it. This is what you think is good to yourself, but have you ever thought that there might be men who cheat you of money under the guise of love?

At the end of the letter, you mentioned that you pay attention to maintenance and beauty, use big-name skin care products, and even go to a fitness and weight loss class. This is the so-called "being good to yourself". I don't deny it either. Because compared with women who blindly fill the needs of men but ignore their own needs, you are naturally good to yourself if you please yourself.

But to be really good to yourself, not just the nourishment of these bodies, but to treat yourself better is to let yourself be calm and sensible when dealing with problems, and see the gains and losses clearly. Some, so as to make the best choice for you.

To put it simply, it means to put your gains and interests on the balance of one mind. If this side is heavy, you have to add something over there. If it is heavy over there, you have to add something here. There is only one purpose, and that is to maintain your own psychological balance.

Take an example.

He has been in love with you for so long,You were all spending money for him, what did he give you? Did he give you the love you wanted at the beginning? He can't even go home early at night, where is his love? This end of the balance is the money you spent, and the other is called his love for you. Do you feel balanced?

unbalanced! It's too unbalanced, and I didn't even say that this end of the balance actually has not only the money you spent, but also your feelings for him! Is this even more unbalanced? Since it is unbalanced, he has to add weights, but he not only does not add weights, but also reduces them. What is the reason?

He unreasonably asked your real estate certificate to add his name, and he refused to buy a house with you reasonable request. He lives in your house, and crying like a young wife, he said that he was sent under the fence. , Funny, shouldn't a man's dignity be earned by himself? Is it possible that he eats yours and drinks yours, and then you have to listen to him in everything, and at the same time let him live in your house like an uncle? What's even more unreasonable is that he finally reluctantly agreed to buy a house together, (you pay the down payment) but he actually asked your parents not to come and live? This is really unreasonable. You are the majority. His parents can live comfortably, but your parents can't come?

But he reduced the weight to this, and in the end he was breaking up with you, and you continue to reflect on yourself, God, such a naive and kind middle-aged innocence Woman, I've seen each other for the first time. Are you loving yourself? This is obviously looking for sin and suffering!

So, think carefully about my suggestion. To love yourself is to know how to balance yourself. You have to know exactly what you want and what he did to make you uncomfortable, so that no one I can fool you with something mixed with water,You won't be fooled into finding North by just being coaxed.

If he wants to get back together, he has to rely on sincerity to make up for it, take the money out, take back the original words, really treat you well, love you, if he doesn’t, he will leave and he will owe you , Does not make up for you, then his position in your heart can only retreat and then retreat, retreating to the position of a stranger is already considered his good fortune.

Now he swears to let you calculate the money you spend for him. You have to seize the opportunity. You can write it out one by one and send it to him so that he is fine. According to me It is estimated that he can give you an IOU at most.

People who are middle-aged should treat themselves well, that is, don’t be kidnapped emotionally by men so casually, learn not to be humble or overbearing, not to bear the responsibility that is not your own, and don’t be foolish to bear the losses that you shouldn’t bear. , Let alone question your own value because of the attitude of others.

This is to be really good to yourself.

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I am Mei Niang. If you are confused, please give me your most intimate emotional counselor. .

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