Will you handle the emotional crisis correctly?

In real life, we often see or hear on the Internet: Someone has cheated. I summarized and found that the other half of the TA deals with the crisis in the following three situations, and I personally think that the real masters often quietly eliminate the crisis in the bud.

The first way: one cry, two troubles, three hangs. This method is relatively clumsy and inferior, and does not have much effect on the handling of the entire event, and sometimes even has a counterproductive effect. Apart from gaining some sympathy from the people who eat melons, this method does not help much to their own rights and interests.

There was a man next to me who had cheated after drinking. In fact, he told his brother in private that he would not get divorced because of this because he has a child he loves very much. He didn't want to hurt the child. And his father-in-law also helped him in his career. He wanted to thank his father-in-law. But when his wife found out, she used the method of crying, making trouble, and hanging herself, making the city full of storms. This practice made the man difficult to get off, simply divorced and ran away to Russia. He has not returned once for more than ten years.

The second method: "killing the heart", this method is more clever than the first method.

Case 1 : The people who eat melon must have not forgotten that in April this year, CICC 's compliance director cheated on a female subordinate and was recorded on the phone by the female subordinate's husband. In this case, the husband of the female subordinate was very savvy, obtained strong recording evidence, and then released it publicly. The director with an annual salary of 6 million resigned quickly.

On the female subordinate side, even if the female subordinate divorces her husband, is she the wrong party? When the court decides, the relevant rights and interests will definitely be tilted towards the female subordinate husband. To put it in the vernacular: The husband of a female subordinate gets more benefits than the first approach. Not only did the director who made him lose his 6 million annual salary,And also let his wife be the wrong party in the divorce and less divide the family property. If he also hangs himself by crying, making troubles and hanging himself, besides gaining the sympathy of the people who eat melons, plus a green hat, it is basically difficult to get anything else.

Case 2: The above mentioned is that the man appeared as the victim, and the following is a real incident, but the victim is the woman. My college classmate A. The incident happened on the evening of this year's National Day.

Background: A's husband is a middle-level leader of a large state-owned enterprise. Here we call him B. They have two lovely children. A heard on this year’s Dragon Boat Festival: B has an abnormal relationship with one of his subordinates (a female college student C who just graduated last year), so he asked someone to ask for inside information. The feedback came back saying that, at most, chatting, or saying Ambiguous is fine, anyway, there is no substantial relationship. But this was done in secret, and I would definitely not let B know it.

Before the National Day, B told A that the unit would organize a tour and inspection during the National Day, but during the epidemic, the personnel should be kept as simple as possible. To put it bluntly, no family members would be allowed. It was a coincidence that on the National Day, in a hotel in the neighboring city where they lived, A's nephew saw B with a beautiful woman opening the room. At that time, I was not sure if this woman was C. But A's nephew did not let B see him, and then called A.

A took his natal brothers and sisters-in-law, as well as adult nephews and nieces, and drove more than 100 kilometers to the hotel in the neighboring city. While in the car, A confessed to her relatives. When you find it, don't hit or scold people, but each of you must videotape. To record from different angles.

After arriving at the hotel, because it is not clear which room it is, the front desk does not allow inquiries. Said to keep the guests confidential, unless the public security organs have the right to investigate. Then she asked her nephew to call the police to report prostitution and whoring. When the police came, she took the initiative to tell the police about the specific situation, and wanted the police to check the room number.The police said that reporting the false police was to be punished, and then the police also checked her ID card, marriage certificate and other relevant documents, and then helped her find out the room number where B was located. The police also confessed not to hit people or smash things, and then took her nephew away.

This time A told the waiter that he had just called the police, and the police came and checked the relevant documents. It was confirmed that I was B's genuine wife. Now I ask you to help open the room. After opening the room, a few of her relatives recorded videos and took photos. Do not fight or scold. Only the sound of taking pictures was heard. B panicked at this time and asked what he wanted? A didn't answer, but kept taking pictures. And take pictures from different angles. About ten minutes passed, B really couldn't stand the situation of not talking, not fighting and making trouble, so he knelt down and asked A for forgiveness!

A At this time, I used the trick of "killing people and punishing the heart", saying that now you are not qualified to tell me and let me forgive you. Unless you slap the lady lying next to you (it turns out that this lady is the C before) twice. B guessed that he didn't want the family to be broken, so he hit C beside him. After two hits, A felt uncomfortable and asked B to print C's face with fingerprints. This trick is really vicious. We don't care whether A and B will divorce, at least C will hate B for a lifetime. Suppose A and B are divorced, and B goes to C again, it is very likely that C will not care about B anymore.

And sometimes, we see some videos posted on the Internet about catching the mistress. The original match is to play the mistress, but our husband is protecting the mistress. Some netizens commented after seeing such a video: As the original partner, he is not qualified to play a minor third. If the minor third is really to be held legally responsible, the original partner will be detained for at least 15 days if he or she fails. The original partner is only qualified to teach his partner. I very much agree with this view. Because derailment is only a matter of morality. But beating is a legal issue.

The third way: calmly handle the crisis in the bud. This is the brightest way. It is also a method often used by masters of family management. Throughout the ages, wars of soldiers who surrender without fighting have usually been super-intelligent. Destroying the crisis in its budding state is equivalent to surrendering without a fight.

Take the example of my classmate above. If she intervenes when she gets news about her husband’s ambiguity with others, there may be nothing to do. But please note that if you don't want the family to be broken, the intervention at this time is neither an interrogation approach. It's not about showing evidence to make the other party surrender. Of course, if your purpose is to divorce. Then please do it yourself.

So what should we do? I personally think that it depends on how your husband and wife usually get along and how much you know about your significant other.

Although there are thousands of people, they are all different. But I personally think that as long as the general direction is mastered, the rest is whether the handling of some small details is in place.

When you find that your significant other is abnormal, you need to be more emotionally concerned. You can relive your old dreams. For example, take the TA to the scenic spots that you go to when you are in love, such as order some love objects when you are in love. Let's talk about it. In addition, it also brings some freshness to TA. For example, you can give yourself a new look (you can change to new clothes, or change a hairstyle, etc.), in short, the final purpose is to pull the other half's heart back.

Someone once asked me how can I know that the other half wants to cheat. This depends on how well you understand your significant other. Always observe more carefully. If the other half is pregnant with a ghost, he will more or less show his feet. As the saying goes, there must be a demon if something goes wrong. Pay attention when the TA is different from usual.

Psychologically speaking, when a person does something that is unethical or legal for the first time, he is psychologically afraid. For example, murderers, thieves and the like, when they do it for the first time, their hands tremble in fear. Even if you commit a murder after drinking, your hands will shake after sobering. This is the result of long-term verification in psychology.

In the same way, people will feel guilty after thinking of cheating for the first time. If they don't correct it the first time, they will act after the second time.

I am a man,I personally think that most men (at least 80%) are like this. For example, I felt a little guilty after being ambiguous with someone for the first time. Please note that it was just an ambiguity and no substantial relationship occurred. I was not afraid, but a sense of guilt for my wife. So when I return home, I must be very active in doing housework, and I always want to make up for my guilt in other ways.

The last thing I want to say is: if you want to eliminate the crisis in the bud, you must prescribe the right medicine, and the prerequisite for this method is that you have a more thorough understanding of your significant other. Coupled with some of his own means, he can easily win the "marriage defense war".

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