10 years of emotional counseling career, I have always insisted on finding problems from the source, analyzing and solving problems from the human nature, focusing on methods and strategies, focusing on the in-depth review of each case, and constantly looking for new solutions to help those The little partner who has fallen into the trough of love life, pay attention to me and start your emotional growth.
Little A is the most favored son in the family. He has several elder brothers and sisters. He is very clever. The whole family has spoiled him like a baby since he was a child, and he has come out of Jia Baoyu. Little A seems to be a natural winner. , I am in the top 985 masters and doctors in the country. After graduation, I entered the top three in the country. I am a doctor. From my student days to graduation, I have been going smoothly.
However, life is not a novel, but reality is reality. There is always a cruel side.
After entering the society, Xiao A is very struggling, especially in this kind of people are very good, and it is also a top-notch unit. Everyone is the pride of the gods, and no one is inferior to you. As a result, Xiao A passed It was very depressed, and the handling of various interpersonal relationships became more and more difficult.
Complicated interpersonal relationship is the key to career development, but also the most challenging personality maturity
Link: To believe in extremely narcissistic people, there is a sense of scarcity inside, but he is avoiding
But everyone knows that this society will not coax you, and society has social rules. Little A is like this is not what he wants, nor can he decide when he is born. After frustration and anger, he himself will suffer because of his emotions.Incompatible with the surroundings and his future.
Almighty narcissistic person, very narcissistic and very self-conscious. People in this world revolve around me. As long as they don’t follow my heart, they are prone to anger and anger, like a baby who wants to breastfeed. There are many such visitors, hundreds of them a year. This kind of person is very common in this era. Most families are surrounded by a dozen or so members of the whole family. Unprincipled spoiling makes it easy to teach. One such child.
"Almighty narcissistic" people have a few typical judgment criteria in DSM5 : the connotation is very complicated, in a brief summary:
first is very confused. , Can't distinguish the boundary between self and others, "Yours is mine, mine or mine" is their solidified logic, and they firmly believe that this world is like this.
Second, to yourself Lack of objective cognition. Full of a sense of omnipotence, exaggerating self, “narcissistic people love only themselves, but narcissistic people love themselves in fantasy.” In other words, these people are indeed very Excellent, but not necessarily as excellent as they thought and said in their mouths, as excellent as they imagined.
Third, the infinite need for praise. In order to make themselves look great, they exaggerate themselves, Speaking exaggerated, feel that you are superior, have a strong sense of superiority, disdain for people who are inferior to them, and be jealous of people who surpass yourself. They will avoid criticism and even deny.
Link: Why is there? People are always used by others,Finally become someone else's vassal
What if your significant other is an "almighty narcissistic" person? How to get along with them, how to change them?
First of all, we need to analyze how they formed such cognitive and behavioral patterns? Combining my research for the past 10 years, I found that the native families of all-powerful narcissists generally have these three types Features, with our future research may continue to add and improve.
(The following content is completely researched and original by Xiao Ai Xiao doctor in 2020, piracy will be punished, after this time all plagiarize our theories)
The first kind of family conditions is good, since childhood, doting and growing up In the process, parents will meet all their needs. Such a growth environment makes it difficult for them to disconnect their "baby and their immediate caregivers" smoothly and to become independent. Even if he is an adult, the development of his attachment relationship is still at a low level.
link: Almighty narcissism may have never been frustrated, but it may also have suffered major trauma
The following dry goods are here, the small bench is ready, the notebook is ready!
Our approach is to "break first and then stand up". Our ultimate goal is to let the "almighty narcissist" realize the problem and grow up. "Break" is to break his almighty narcissism. Point.
The point is that you find the point on which his almighty narcissism rests.For example, when he was a child, the family conditions were very good, relying on the pampering of his parents, then you can break the situation from this level, and actively break the point where the other party's almighty narcissism relies. A strong willingness to change yourself is not painful enough! If necessary, introduce a third party and let professionals help you. Here we specially emphasize that one of the weaknesses of an almighty narcissist is jealousy. There is no room for two tigers , you show off martial arts in front of a martial arts master, you may trigger their jealousy, let him solve the problem window period.
Link: Psychoanalysis: Why men like cold violence, and 3 tips for women to deal with the cold war
The next step is the process of standing up, after breaking the other's self-confidence and self-narcissism Don’t leave the other person’s cognition that you are changing him. You have to be able to rationalize yourself and describe your breaking the other’s behavior as a last resort, not your own subjective behavior, but an objective environment. Forcing two people to go forward and grow up together. Whether or not to rationalize your mind, a good consultant can help you do a very natural and reasonable self-rationalization.
To put it bluntly, boil the frog in warm water to help him grow and face the problem.
You must deliberately pay attention to identity. Let’s talk about identity, for example, compare 985 and 985. Compare doctors and doctors. For example, an almighty narcissistic doctor who is looking for someone It must be backward compatible to find undergraduates and junior colleges,He couldn't find a doctor to be a target. But don't foolishly put yourself on the opposite side of him, men have a strong rebellious psychology, that is, the more you do me, the less I am.
For more valuable dry goods, click on the link:
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