Japanese translation by Lulu
It is said that marriage is the tomb of love, but I think that in many cases, love is the tomb of marriage.
said that marriage is the tomb of love, because marriage is more tolerant than love, because marriage is not only a matter of two people, but also a matter of two families, and love can be a matter of two people. Compared with the problem of multiple people, the problem of two people is naturally a little easier to solve.
said that love is the tomb of marriage, because love is a master at concealing the shortcomings of two loved ones. It is good to exhaust all of oneself for love, and it is not good to conceal all of oneself, which will inevitably lead to marriage. It's not good!
Marriage is indeed different from love, but marriage and love have the only thing in common, that is, two people get along. The essence of marriage and love is actually getting along with two people. Without this book, everything is nothing but nothingness!
In "Goodbye Lover", Tong Chenjie and Wei Wei's sister and brother caring style, Zhu Ya and Wang Qiong's educational negation style get along with Yuspan_span_5 Span Ke and Zhang Yuqiong's over-respect for span6. , Let us see the importance of two people getting along in marriage from different sides, and three marriage truths we have to know!
No love does not necessarily lead to a bad life. The initial love and non-love in the marriage relationship are not important to get along!
Many people think that the key to good or bad marriage and love lies in whether there is love and how much love. As long as two people have love and love deeply enough, marriage and love can be managed well, but reality is not as easy as it is imagined.
Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, who have been together for seven years, can tell that they both love each other deeply, and their marriage and love are full of love and beauty.
The harmonious combination of handsome men and beauties, Wei Wei is humorous and childish, Tong Chenjie is elegant and generous with high EQ, but these two loved ones fail to manage their marriage emotions well. The marriage of the two is coming to an end, even though they both love it very much.
The two brothers and sisters get along in a caring manner. Tong Chenjie always apologizes before showing weakness. Wei Wei is completely unaware of the passive reconciliation of his own problems. Even if Tong Chenjie clearly and clearly stated the key to the problem, Wei Wei was still indifferent, still stubbornly living in his own self.
Tong Chenjie is right. She is already taking care of an older child. If she has another child, she will definitely be overwhelmed to collapse. She didn't want to see herself like that, and she didn't want to give her children a bad environment and an alcoholic father.
Is there no love between the two? There is love, it can even be said that it is very love, but the two are stuck on the key contradiction issue.
The relationship between Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong in 19 years,Is there no love between them? Are they not loving enough? Obviously, there is love and love between them. But the two of them just don't manage their emotions well, and they can't lead their marriage and love life. Why? Because of the disharmony of two people.
Their ordinary daily lives are reasonable and emotional, and the educational negativity between two people can be described as a mess, and they are angry when they look at them.
Zhang He and Guo Keyu both bluntly said that they had no love in their ten-year marriage, but why would they care about without love, why would they still try without love, why can there be such a tacit understanding and reluctance without love!
The end of their marriage is undoubtedly due to getting along. Getting along with too much respect will make people feel indifferent and indifferent to each other.
It can be seen that these three couples love each other, and some even love each other deeply, but they have not been able to run a good family and lead a good married life.
There are more couples who married first and love later in our parents' time. Among them, there are unfortunate and happy ones. Happiness, first marriage and then loving the couple in the family, are often affectionate and grow old. The secret to their long-term married life is nothing but harmony.
Therefore, the initial love and non-love in the marriage relationship are not important to get along with each other. If you don’t get along well and get along in disharmony, the deeper you love, the more pain you will hurt!
Love may not be a good life.It’s not necessarily a bad life without love. Without a certain knowledge of love and a certain understanding of getting along, it is difficult to manage a good marriage and love!
▌People in love often have the inertial thinking of going solo!
If you love me, you must be like this; if I love you, I should be like this. This is a misunderstanding of marriage emotion that most people in love easily fall into. In fact, emotional thinking alone is not conducive to marriage and love. I love you and you love me. What should we do is the more appropriate thinking for two people to get along with each other.
In his marriage to Tong Chenjie, Wei Wei has always enjoyed the full range of care given to him by his wife, whether in life, emotion, or spirit. Although he was grateful and grateful in his heart, once his emotions came up, once he was drunk, he changed completely.
In negative emotions, he never reflects on his own problems, and never thinks in another way. He will only wait for the wife who can tolerate all of him to show his weakness and admit his mistakes. In his cognition, it is wrong to show the weakness and admit the mistake first, and there is nothing wrong with himself.
This is his solo thinking in marriage and love. He only lives in his own emotions, without considering the pressure and emotions accumulated by his wife for a long time.
He unilaterally thinks that she loves me, she should be like this; I love her,This is how I should be; it is not at all what we need to do if we are in love with each other in order to manage the marriage better and longer.
Obviously, Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie had a conflict due to drinking. Although they were temporarily resolved, the problem of alcoholism and child-bearing between them still has not been effectively solved from the root.
Wei Wei unilaterally feels that alcoholism is a relief or relaxation, which does not pose a threat to his marriage with Tong Chenjie. If his single-handed emotional thinking does not change, if his and Tong Chenjie's mode of getting along does not change, their marriage and love will eventually collapse.
Therefore, people in love should be soberly aware that singles are only suitable for singles, not for marriage and love.
If you want to manage marriage and love well, you need to have the logic of "I love you, you love me, what shall we do together". Don't use the emotional thinking of singles to hurt your love. People, go to ruin the hard-won love and marriage!
▌The daily solitude of two people is the true state of marriage!
Actually, the good state in marriage is that when two people are alone, they can give each other a comfortable state. This comfortable state of solitude is the cornerstone of maintaining a long-term marriage!
people are multi-faceted,There will be different behaviors, words and deeds in a group and when alone. In "Goodbye Lover", when the three couples are together, it is a mode of getting along, and after the three couples act separately, it is another mode of getting along. When we are together, we can get along relatively well, but when we get along alone, we have frequent problems.
The solitude of Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong can be described as lightning and thunder and fire, and they have been in a state of quarreling. As small as a word or as large as a matter, it can trigger a quarrel, and the more the quarrel, the more intense it is. The first second was good and warm, but the next second instantly became worse and colder and angry and lonely.
One of them follows the feelings, the other follows the principles, the other desires to be noticed and fulfilled, and the other just preaching and denying the desire for each other's growth. Angry when arguing and worrying when apart, this is the normal state of two people being alone, and this is also the state of marriage of two people.
Such a state of solitude naturally cannot reap happiness. There is no happiness but a daily life of quarrel and sadness. How can I meet a better self and better each other, without a better self and better each other, How to talk about good marriage and happy marriage feelings!
A good relationship comes from a relationship, a bad relationship also comes from a relationship. The good or bad relationship does not depend on one person, but depends on two people.
This is actually the root of marriage and love. Good relationship can germinate love, and good relationship can maintain a long-term marriage.
Actually,The real effort in a marriage relationship should be spent on how to get along for a longer time, not on how much love is there or not. Get along well, get along well, get along well, and everything will naturally be in place.
Love this kind of thing is hard to come by, but it can sprout naturally in getting along, and it can grow step by step in getting along, and it can last for a long time in getting along. This is the true meaning of marriage and love that we have to know!
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