The logic of "phase change" from love to marriage

　　 The sweetness of first love may be the longest lasting memory in a person's life. The details of decades ago are so clear.

The duration of marriage is much longer than that of love, but the good memories in it are lost to the first love. There must be a certain essential "phase change" from love to marriage, which is similar to what happens when water passes through zero degrees and one hundred degrees. So what is it?

　　 On the surface, first is a contract, and the change of various titles. What this article explores is the kinetic factors of the phase transition and the typical path of the phase transition.

Let's talk about "sexual awakening". This is a piece of code written into genes during the evolution of species. Species without this code have been eliminated, and sexual awakening is just an evolutionary version of the mutual perception of positive and negative charges.

　　 And this process is a series of hormones produced by body development, such as serotonin. What transcends the attraction of opposite sexes is a more advanced selectivity. This selectivity does not include calculations such as whether there is a house or a car.Before genes can absorb them, they are entrusted to reason and culture.

This primitive choice includes first of all appearance, figure, voice and smile. It seems that women have evolved more complete, and their choices also include talents. According to the " general theory of physical evolution ", this is due to compensation. Women are weaker and have to bear the burden of nurturing offspring. The pressure to survive compensates for a higher sense of security than men. In this way, it is understandable to choose talented men.

　　How does puberty show talents? Fight? Yes, it can be counted as one item. When I was a student, learning better seemed to have a better future, so being smart would add a lot of points to men.

In short, love is quite "primitive" (survival-driven), and many of them are completed by idealized "brain supplements" under the "medicinal power" of hormones. It is true that Xi Shi is in the eyes of lovers.

Today, love has "changed". It seems that a large number of "profit calculation items" have been added to the selection list, but that is just to move the marriage space after the phase change to the love space. Therefore, only first love is relatively pure, and the subsequent "talking with friends" can only be considered as a preparatory class for marriage.

Since adding "computing",The accumulation of wealth of the other party, even the native family of the other party, is listed as the top priority. Even if the romantic love does not have a "lunch box", it is no longer the protagonist.

　　 There is no calculation for true love (first love). If you have never had it, it can only be a kind of sorrow. This kind of irrationality is a great happiness in life, a silly happiness. The two lived a "spiritual utopia". Span11span

"home" this society "binuclear cell" strongspan strong Process . There are two main bodies in a binuclear cell, they hug each other to keep warm, and they quarrel with each other endlessly.

　　 Beauty, figure, and talent cannot guarantee the happiness of marriage. With the improvement of women's education and economic status, this "duo cell" becomes more and more fragile.Because after splitting into two, they can still live well.

When the pressure for survival decreases, the necessity of "home" also depreciates. This is the reason behind the high divorce rate you see.

　　 So the question is, what two talents are suitable for the structure of binuclear cells? The old man said: It's right. A more scientific point is to carefully demonstrate the metabolic harmony of the two. Metabolism includes "metabolism of living substances", "emotional energy metabolism" and "information sharing and fusion" (cultural metabolism).

Specifically, can the materials needed in life be achieved? Does the personality match? Are the three views compatible? "Door right" is beneficial to each other, complementation is also beneficial to each other, the bottom line gap should not be too large, marriage tests the lower limit (tolerance), and the eye-catching love is the upper limit (impulsiveness).

　　 Note that in the harmony of marriage, time is an important parameter. Marriage needs to be managed throughout the whole process, and you can’t slack off. The child is the stabilizer of the "binuclear cell", and he (or she) is the "strong binding enzyme" between the couple. He uses his natural receptors to bind to his parents separately.

　　 cultural and cultural aspects,Couples have a responsibility to keep up, or at least have the willingness to keep up with each other's progress. Don't forget, as discussed above, behind a contract is the selectivity escalated by compensation. The society is not a vacuum, and the temptation of selectivity will also compete with the existing family institutions. You cannot pretend to be invisible.

In short, Love is to appreciate each other's strengths, and marriage is to tolerate each other's shortcomings strong strong. Love is primitive in nature. Marriage is not easy to manage. It may end up ugly if you despise your parents.

Note: The picture is taken from the Internet and the copyright belongs to the original author.

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