Mark Levy wrote a sentence in " Shadow Stealer". Parents should know: "You can't interfere with other people's lives, even for their own good." This is his life."
Although brothers, sisters, and friends may point to other people's lives, in the final analysis, the people who like to interfere in our lives are the parents. No matter what we call for, we hope that parents will respect their children's choices and give them freedom to grow up. Many parents still treat their children as ignorant children and like to use the authority of their parents to take care of their lives.
Among the things that parents like to intervene most, in addition to academic and employment issues, it is the marriage of their children. Most parents will take care of their children's marriage and treat their children’s future spouses by their own standards.
Regarding interpersonal relationships, one of the three giants of psychology, Adler once said: Basically all contradictions in interpersonal relationships are caused by interference in other people’s issues or their own issues. Others interfere.
As a parent, when you find that your children’s choices are problematic, you can give them advice and point out the problem. It’s okay, but you can never force your ideas on your children. Firstly, this is not what the child wants, even if it is right, he cannot execute it well if he is reluctant; secondly, children and parents are not a generation, and the times are developing so fast, your ideas may be out of date. NS.
"Sorry,Since your parents don't like me, I won't force them to accept me as a daughter-in-law, and I can't be the daughter-in-law of your parents. "Seeing the news from his girlfriend Feng Jin, Chu Yao felt very disappointed.
01. As a Phoenix man, it is not easy to obtain the consent of the woman’s parents;
originally, Chu Yao and Feng Jin is about to get married, and they agreed to meet with both parents first. After getting their approval, they will prepare for the marriage and strive to get married at the end of the year.
In mid-August, Chu Yao went to see Feng Jin's first. Parents. Feng Jin is the only daughter of the family, born in a relatively well-off family. Both parents work in provincial cities, have independent houses, and have paid social security. Her mother has begun to receive a pension and the pressure on the elderly is less. Feng Jin graduated from a key college and engaged in design work, with a monthly salary of about 10,000.
The meeting between Chu Yao and Feng Jin’s parents was neither too pleasant nor too bad. Because Chu Yao is A Phoenix man with a poor family background, his parents do not have social security, and he can't help much in the marriage. He relies on his son for the elderly, so Feng Jin's mother is a bit dissatisfied and doesn't like the son-in-law candidate.
Compared to Feng Jin’s mother, Feng Jin’s father had a better attitude. He admired Chu Yao, who was admitted to a key university, entered a listed company, and had an annual salary of 250,000. He persuaded his wife: "man" Capable,Is it better to rely on your own ability to make money than to rely on your parents? Besides, my daughter likes him, and he likes our daughter. Isn’t that enough?
Feng Jin’s mother thought for a while, and made two requests to Chu Yao. One was to buy a house in the provincial capital without living with his parents, and the other was to give 80,000 gifts. Chu Yao gritted his teeth and agreed.
"She told me that if my parents get along well and don't make her difficult, and are willing to help her, we will rent a house nearby for their parents for easy care. Actually, my girlfriend is really a good girl.
02. My parents don’t like girlfriends, because my girlfriend is not a good wife at home;
finally convinced Feng Jin’s parents and got their initial consent, Chu Yao never dreamed that his marriage would hit a wall with his parents.
Last week, Chu Yao and Feng Jin took a leave of absence and went back to Chu Yao’s hometown to discuss the marriage with Chu Yao’s parents. At that time, it was already ten o'clock in the morning, and Chu Yao’s parents personally cooked and served them a lunch.
During lunch, Chu Yao’s parents and girlfriend chatted about the marriage and chatted. Chu Yao felt that the atmosphere was not right.
"80,000 gift? This is not a small amount, I will dowry back later! "
's girlfriend looked at Chu Yao awkwardly, but didn't say anything. Chu Yao winked at his mother, but her mother was indifferent and continued to ask her questions.
_p5span strong p2p
strong Buying a house in the provincial capital? son,I heard you say that the housing price of the community you live in is more than 20,000 yuan, how much does a house cost? Even if it's just a down payment, it's in the hundreds of thousands!Chu Yao had to interrupt her mother's words: "Mom, you don't have to worry about it. I saved a sum of money to buy a house. We can choose a cheaper community and buy a two-bedroom apartment of 70 or 80 square meters for 400,000 yuan. Xiaojin and I paid half of it, not too much.
"Two bedrooms? How can this be enough? You have one room for your young couple, one room for your children, and our old couple sleep in the living room? Even if we sleep in the living room, you can't have only one child!
Hearing this, Feng Jin kicked Chu Yao fiercely, and Chu Yao had to change the subject.
After eating, Chu Yao planned to clean up the dishes as before at home , Taking on the task of washing the dishes, his mother kept winking at him and looked at Feng Jin from time to time. Chu Yao was afraid that the contradiction would accumulate, so he quickly picked up the dishes and went to the kitchen, pretending to make dumplings in the evening. Feng Jin went to the supermarket to buy eggs.
03. According to my parents' mate selection criteria, I must die alone!
As expected by Chu Yao, my parents are really not satisfied with Feng Jin.
"What kind of girlfriend are you looking for?" I don’t have a stature, I don’t have a good family background, and I have such a bad temper. I actually shook my face with the elders. What kind of education?
"You have to find such one to fit into the gate of our Chu family. Your girlfriend doesn't match any of them. I don't want such a daughter-in-law."
Which kind of girl meets the needs of Chu Yao’s parents? Parents list 3 rules of filial piety,First of all, you must accept to live with your elders, so that the elders can enjoy being served by their daughter-in-law and having fun with their grandchildren.
"When your grandparents were alive, did we ever say that we split the family? The son enjoys the good fortune in the city, and his parents suffer in the country. It is simply unfilial."
_p5sp strong, p2p strong 13 Confront your elders, and you can't get angry with your elders. "Look at her, a few words are unpleasant and her complexion is not good. After marrying in, and not quarreling with me every day? With such a wife, I must be pissed to death."
Finally, I must take the initiative Doing housework should not make old people and men work hard. "Did your grandparents do housework? Did your dad do housework? You do housework at home because you love your mother. After you have a wife, this housework belongs to her."
After listening to the three rules of filial piety from his parents, Chu Yao felt one head and two big ones: "Mom, I don't want to die alone, I tell you clearly, if you find it according to your three standards, I have to bachelor."
"He was right, he can be bachelor now." Feng Jin had already guessed why Chu Yao let himself out, and heard their conversation clearly.
Feng Jin didn't say much. He picked up the bag and turned around. Chu Yao wanted to chase him out, but was caught by his parents. In the end, this relationship ended in failure.
04. Generally speaking,The love and marriage that can be ruined by your parents are useless to you.
" double-sided tape " screenwriter 六六 once said: "In the trivial life of chicken feathers, what women care most is not how to resolve the contradiction itself, but in the process of resolving the contradiction. Does my husband stand behind me?”
Generally speaking, love and marriage that can be ruined by your parents are all to blame for your own uselessness. Maybe you resisted, but did not resist thoroughly. If you have a firm attitude, stand by your spouse from beginning to end, let your parents know your determination, unless your parents want to quarrel with you and make the parent-child relationship disagree, you will not bully your lover unscrupulously.
If a man does not have the courage to protect his own woman and the determination to maintain this marriage, why should a woman marry you and have children for you? Even you have nothing to do with your parents. Where can you let your women get along with your parents?
As the psychologist Wu Zhihong said: Happy families mostly follow the scientific business philosophy-the core of the family hierarchy is yourself and your spouse, followed by the children, and again both parents and siblings.
If you put your parents first and neglect your spouse for them, then don't blame them for being chilled.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you think Chu Yao’s parents can find a daughter-in-law who meets their wishes? Welcome to share your views in the comments section.
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