Figure/source network
The key to interpersonal communication lies in sincerity, but if you want to make the relationship further, it is not enough to rely on a sincere attitude, you also need to get along with each other daily , Know some skills and methods.
With the right method, the relationship between the two can quickly heat up, and at the same time, it can also make the other person trust you more, and be more determined. Why not do it.
This is especially true in the relationship between the sexes. Many men really like a woman and treat her heartily. But I don’t know why, the relationship between the two always stays in place. any progress.
If you say that a woman's attitude is always indifferent, and indifferent to your kindness and dedication, in this case, it is reasonable to be unable to make an appointment. What is puzzling is that some women like to chat with you very much and express their affection for you, but they rarely come out with you.
Every time you speak up and ask her if she is free to eat out, she will always find ways to refuse. At this time your enthusiasm will be severely hit, and over time, you will even suspect that she deliberately hangs herself.
But in fact, it may not be that she doesn't like you, and it may not be that she deliberately didn't go out with you, but that you used the wrong words when meeting her.
That is to say, you didn't pay attention to the way you asked her, and what you said gave her a reason to refuse, so she would mistake you for being insincere and not firm.
sometimes,Knowing the methods and skills of speaking is far more important than we think. Although it has the same meaning, different expressions will produce completely different effects.
Just imagine, in real life, if you want to ask someone out for a meeting, what do you usually ask? Under normal circumstances, the most commonly used sentence is: "When are you free?" Time comes, but in fact, you give all the right to decide and speak to others.
To be more direct, in fact, you give the other party all the responsibilities of the decision-making and the joint and several responsibilities. The other party needs to consider the time for you to meet, which indirectly increases the time he meets with you. cost.
So in this case, if you are not a very familiar friend, it is difficult for you to make an appointment. At least in the matter of the appointment, you have made the other person uncomfortable.
If you change the expression, the situation will be completely different. For example, you can try to ask: "Are you free at 7pm on the 16th of October? It happened to be Saturday, I thought You should be resting."
directly narrows the scope of his choice, and at the same time gives him enough space to choose, which can help him reduce the cost of decision-making to the greatest extent. Can give him a relatively comfortable experience of communication.
Some women are disgusted and very bad at making decisions. If you ask her when she is free, or what she likes or dislikes, it is difficult for her to give you specific answers. You might as well just list a few options.Narrow the scope so that she can save her thinking time and reduce her stress.
For example, when you ask her for dinner, don't ask her what she eats. Just ask her whether she eats hot pot or steak. She can give you the answer with a little or no thinking. Because the range of choices is so small, there is no need to think hard.
In psychology, this phenomenon that causes different results due to different expressions is called the " frame effect ". This effect stems from a very interesting story.
Before, a very stingy man fell into the river. The kind man wanted to save him, so he shouted from the bank: "Give me your hand and I will pull you up."
Such an expression will undoubtedly make this stingy uncomfortable. After all, he is stingy and doesn't like to give things to others. As a result, the kindhearted person changed his expression: "I will give you your hand, and you will catch me."
As soon as he heard , he immediately caught it, because he didn't need to give or take risks, just accept it.
The framing effect tells us: In the communication and exchange of interpersonal communication, the most important thing is not what you say, but how you say it. In the face of different people and different situations, we must know how to adapt and change the way of expression appropriately, and sometimes we can achieve results that exceed expectations.
At the same time, communicating in a way that makes the other person feel comfortable is more likely to arouse the other person’s trust and goodwill, and while demonstrating high emotional intelligence,To achieve the effect of getting twice the result with half the effort in the relationship, wouldn't it be the best of both worlds.
However, the framing effect is not widely used in real life. Many people find it difficult to realize this problem in interpersonal communication. They don't understand why they have a good relationship, but they can't make appointments.
If you clearly feel that a woman has a good opinion of you, likes to chat with you, and is confident that the relationship between the two will go further, then you might as well switch your expressions when you meet her.
Don’t directly ask her if she’s free, just tell her: I’m waiting for you at a certain time, certain place, certain day.
This way she doesn't have to think about whether she wants to agree to you, because you have arranged it. If she refuses, she will betray your good intentions, which will cause a psychological burden.
This is not a moral kidnapping, nor is it deliberately pressured, but to cater to her psychology and help her make decisions in advance. You save her decision-making costs, and uphold an extremely sincere attitude, will only be more beneficial to the relationship between the two.
A woman likes you, but refuses to go out with you. Except that she really has something to do, a large part of the reason is that you don't know the skills and methods to date her.
Understand the frame effect and apply it skillfully in interpersonal communication. Over time, you will become a popular person.
END
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