Have you ever heard of relying on your nephew to guard against old age? In fact, this situation may happen in an only-child family.
Yesterday, while chatting with my mother, my mother told me about an incident in my hometown. My father's good friend Uncle Li broke up with his only daughter because he tried to withhold his daughter's 100,000 gift.
If Uncle Li wants her daughter's gift for her own retirement, Uncle Li's daughter will not have any objection, but the reason why Uncle Li wants to keep her daughter's gift is because he wants to give it to himself The nephew married his wife.
"If you marry out and become someone else's family, you can't take care of your parents. Our old-age problem can only be solved by your cousin. Now we don’t treat him better, why should you cousin? Who cares about us?"
Tolstoy wrote in " Anna Karenina": "Happy families are similar, and unfortunate families have their own misfortunes."
Raising children to protect against old age is actually the reason why many parents are righteous and patriarchal. However, I would like to ask, if you can't even count on your own daughter, can you be reliable if you have a nephew whose parents need to support it?
Garcia Márquez wrote in " One Hundred Years of Solitude": "The secret of a happy old age is nothing but a decent agreement with loneliness."
Rely on yourself,Compared with Uncle Li in his hometown, Susan's father understands this truth better.
01. Your parents’ money is mine. This is a saying that cousin often says;
When it comes to her cousin, Susan doesn’t have a good tone. The younger brother is one year younger than Susan, and the two are not far away. They often communicate with each other. Since childhood, Susan has always been angry with her cousin.
"I heard from my mother that when I was born, I learned that I was a daughter. Although my dad sighed, he accepted it quickly and comforted my mom, saying that he didn't need to save money to marry his son. Daughter-in-law, however, my grandparents' tone is not so good. It is useless to complain about my mother. Don't mention taking care of my mother in confinement. It is a good thing not to add congestion to my mother."
In two years, Susan's aunt gave birth to a son, which relieved Susan's grandparents. As a reward, grandma's ancestral bracelet was given to the little daughter-in-law.
Grandparents are more patriarchal than girls. Susan has known since she was very young. Grandchildren and grandchildren are all going to school, grandparents only buy school supplies for their grandchildren, but let Susan use the old ones; for dinner, there are two poached eggs in a bowl, and one has nothing; the two have a fight, and they clearly have the upper hand. It was a cousin, but it was Susan who was scolded and beaten. What's even more exaggerated is that grandparents instilled a concept into the cousin.
"When I was in junior high school, to make it easier for me to go to school, my dad bought me a bicycle. When my cousin saw it, he snatched it from me and said that grandma said that the uncle’s money is mine. All of the things are mine."
My cousin's words were learned by Susan’s father. Susan’s father rarely turned his face.I had a fight with my parents.
02. For my marriage, the conflict between my grandparents and my parents escalated;
the year before, Susan got married and married someone she likes.
"In order to make my life better and not to be looked down upon by my in-laws, my dad asked for a gift of 100,000 and added another 100,000 yuan, so that my husband and I took a loan to buy a wedding house. That’s why it was 200,000. For bucks, my grandpa and grandma's conflict with my parents has escalated."
Susan's marriage, uncle and aunt paid special attention to, and even entrusted someone to introduce someone to Susan. However, Susan’s mother didn’t like them alone, so she quarreled with her in-laws: "As long as people are willing to give more gifts, you can introduce me all kinds of crooked melons and dates. What do you mean? What's your relationship?"
"The relationship is big. Leilei is the only male in our family. He shoulders the task of inheriting the family. Marrying a wife is the top priority. Now it takes a lot of money to ask for a wife, don’t you know? I have already said that Shanshan’s wedding gifts are reserved for Leilei to marry a wife. Of course, the more the better." I couldn't help but brought relatives to find Susan. First, he cried out that it was not easy for his cousin to marry a daughter-in-law, and then played the family relationship card. In the end, he went to life and asked Susan to give them all the 200,000 yuan.
Under the strong maintenance of Susan's parents, grandparents didn't get anything. For this, they hated the eldest son's family. When grandma passed away, she didn't notify Susan's father.
03. Fortunately,My dad is a thinkable person and didn't believe the cousin's family;
This year, Susan's cousin met a girl through a blind date, and the two came to the step of discussing marriage.
"A 120,000 gift is given to buy a house in the city, and I have to give three gold . In addition, my uncle must prepare at least 400,000 yuan, which makes them worry. So they beat me up again. Dad’s idea was to ask my dad for money first, and then my dad sold the house in the county seat."
"Uncle, my cousin is married, and needs to take care of my in-laws. I can’t take care of you at all. I Give you old-age care, and you will live with my parents in the future! However, you must first help me solve my urgent needs and let me marry a wife." Yes, Susan’s dad is a person who can think about it. He bluntly rejected his nephew’s request: "I don’t believe it. If my biological daughter is unreliable, can my nephew be reliable? Just you? It’s good to be able to take care of yourself, and support your parents. Enough for you, let alone our old couple?"
Actually, Susan's father had already arranged for the pension. He plans to sell the house, hold the money in his own hands, and rent a house near his daughter. If the daughter-in-law is honored, they can leave the money to them. If you are unreliable, with the money, living in a nursing home is better than relying on a nephew.
04. Will children respect you, regardless of gender, but only related to your education.
Tyman Johnson once said: "Successful tutoring makes successful children, and failed tutoring makes failed children."
In fact,Will your children respect you? It has nothing to do with your gender, but only with your education. If you know how to educate your children, give them proper care and strictness, urge them to become talents, do not cause trouble to them, maintain a good parent-child relationship with them, and children who grow up in a healthy environment of love and care will generally not forget Thanks to the nurturing of parents.
When you are in old age, if you don't want the night scene to be bleak, you need to do 4 things.
First of all, , be a qualified parent, try not to cause trouble for your children, let alone trouble with your children’s spouse, and make your children’s spouse harmless. .
Secondly, Be kind to your spouse, don't just think about your own happiness and not take responsibility. In old age, the person who can really stay with you is your spouse who has spent decades with you.
Also, has a good body and maintains a good mentality. If your body breaks down, not only will your children be dragged down, but you will also be tortured.
Finally, save a little old-age money to save yourself. It is more reliable to hold the money in your own hands.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you think it is realistic to expect your nephew to provide for the elderly? Welcome to share your views in the comments section.
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