The one who cares about my husband and only treats me as a partner now

My husband was drunk and went home. I am very angry, I am helping him change clothes. Doorbell rang. When I opened the door, I saw a woman standing in the doorway. She is quite beautiful in fashionable clothes. She handed me her husband's wallet and said in disgust, "Your husband left it to me." After turning around and leaving, I stopped and chased out and asked who she was. The woman said impatiently: "Watch him so that he will never come to me again..." I was very angry at the time.

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I am 31 years old this year, the owner of a pharmacy, and my husband is 35 years old. I am an attending physician in a tertiary hospital. We know each other because of our work. I am very cheerful, but he is not so talkative and calm. I think he has complementary personalities and is easy to get along with. After getting married, I realized that his character was too boring and would not quarrel. Whenever he encounters difficulties, he will avoid it.

He is busy with work and often works overtime. He is tired when he goes home every day. He did not fulfill his husband's responsibilities. Every time I take the initiative, he still cares very much when he first gets married. Later, he always said that he was too tired to escape. I understand that his work pressure is really great, and I also understand him very well and try to suppress myself. But the year before last felt that I was getting older and didn't want to be an elderly woman, so I started to actively prepare for pregnancy. But he firmly opposed, and even began to avoid me.

I was wronged and I told my mother-in-law that the divorce was because the father-in-law was not honest outside, and the mother-in-law was pregnant with her brother-in-law. This incident dealt a big blow to her husband. Her mother-in-law is too busy at work. The husband took care of his younger brother and grew up. She doesn't enjoy childhood, hates children, and doesn't want children at all. But I want to be a mother, so I tried to communicate with him many times, but he avoided it. Later, he said that he was busy at work and far away from work, so he simply rented a house outside and went home on the weekend.

When he woke up, I asked him who the woman was. He said it was his ex-girlfriend. He had a good relationship at first because the other party refused to break up with Ding. He just got drunk and ran to complain. He also said that he couldn't figure out why I was so persistent and insisted on having children. I am very depressed. Is it wrong to want to be a mother? If he doesn't want it, he should tell me when he is in love.I really want to get a divorce now, but I still love him. too difficult. what do I do? please help me. This lady, it is the nature of most women to want to be a mother. Your idea is correct. What's wrong is that your husband has a different idea about this matter, but he didn't tell you in advance. I understand that you want to divorce because of this, but divorce requires careful consideration. I hope you calm down first. Let's analyze it together. I am also very grateful for you to ask professionals for help when you encounter uncertainties. This shows that you trust me and my team very much, but then we will see what went wrong with your marriage.

First, we must sort out the status quo of marriage to find the source of the problem. When combing the status quo of your marriage, you should consider whether you have a stable married life. Do you have any common interests or hobbies? Have plans for the future and family. In your description, your husband is busy at work and you spend very little time together. In life, it is also when you take the initiative, but your husband refuses you with exhaustion, indicating that there is a lack of communication and interaction between husband and wife, and energy transmission is long-term. There is a problem. You want a child, but he doesn't want it. It just exposed your contradiction in advance.

Your husband didn't want children for a long time, but he didn't tell you, because of this, he broke up with his ex-girlfriend. He realized that this contradiction was difficult to reconcile, so he always adopted an evasive attitude. His idea of ​​not wanting children was caused by the injury of his native family. If you don't break this, your relationship will be difficult to break the deadlock.

At this time, you should talk to your husband about the meaning of marriage, just discuss with each other, don't talk about who is right and who is wrong, and don't expect one conversation to change your husband's mind. The purpose of this is to inspire him to think about marriage, understand why a man wants to get married, and the power that marriage can give a man, so that he realizes that marriage requires both parties to operate together, and how to adjust when he deviates from his life plan. If he can't, even if he divorces you, he will encounter these problems in his future marriage. Evasion is not the solution, but the solution is to face it bravely.

Secondly, in your description, your husband always avoids things, always wants to avoid. When he disagrees with whether you want a child or not, he still avoids talking about it. Later, he rented a house on the grounds of being far away from the work unit and went home on weekends. This approach is a manifestation of weak self-expression ability. In fact, he has a lot of emotions in his heart, but because he can't see the changes in his emotions,So express it in an evasive way, hoping that the other party can perceive it.

In this case, you should give the other person time to adjust himself, help him find ways to adjust, encourage him to release his negative emotions, give him more emotional support, and let him realize that you can be trusted, so Help him relieve anxiety and distrust, thereby improving your communication.

If you don’t know how to talk to him about marriage problems, or how to change his way of avoiding problems, my team and I will give you some suggestions to help you clean up him, get out of emotional dilemma, and stop depression and anxiety !