01
writer Ba Jin said: "What brought me up? The first thing that floats in my mind is the word "love". The love of parents, the love of flesh and blood, the love between humans and the family life. Warmth."
In this life, without love, a person lives like a walking dead, without feeling warmth or touching happiness.
Brothers and sisters are close relatives who grow up and struggle together. However, it is difficult to grow old together. After the death of their parents, many large families fell apart, and there was no place to reunite.
My brother-in-law, there are three brothers in the family. When my father is here, I can gather together every Chinese New Year and have a drink with my father. After the father passed away, the mother was taken care of by the three brothers in turn, changing every six months.
During the Chinese New Year, the mother is in the old family, so the boss is responsible for the communication with relatives and friends. On the first day of the new year, the three brothers gathered together. The boss said that there were more guests in the family and the food expenses were a lot. The three brothers had to share it equally.
Because of the words of the boss, the three brothers got into trouble. The second child believes that the eldest has taken away the passbook from his parents and should not say such things; the eldest said that the third child lives in his parents’ old house, which is more valuable; the third child said that the second child will have to pay for tuition after he goes to college. most.
During the Chinese New Year, the family broke up.
It says in the Bible: "Love your enemy."
Brothers and sisters have become enemies, and only "love" can resolve them. Do the following four "stays away" and the ending will be happy.
02
first,Stay away from the "big family" and be well.
As the saying goes: "One mother has nine children, and the mother has ten samples."
Don't overestimate the "personality" of your blood relatives. When we were young, we often quarreled together, and if we had enough trouble, we would reconcile in a few days; when we grow up, when conflicts come, no one is convinced, and it becomes a grudge.
Only distance can save the big family.
One of my bosses is from Liaoning. He has been working in Hunan, returning to his hometown at most once a year.
He said that every year he would give his parents 50,000 yuan and his hometown brother 20,000 yuan. Give the money, the heart is at peace.
I am puzzled, isn't he afraid that his brother will put all the money in his pocket?
The boss said that his parents are old and his brother is taking care of him at home. Whether he is greedy for money or not is his conscience. Don't think about it.
As the saying goes, not seeing is clear.
As long as the brothers and sisters don't live together, no matter how many conflicts, they just think about it, and then let go. Impossible, hold your phone every day and quarrel on WeChat.
Throughout the year, I don't see each other for a few hours. What I want to say is mostly "greetings and concerns".
03
Second, stay away from "outsiders" and have your own opinions.
In a big family, there are several special relationships-the relationship between the elder-wife, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law and sister-in-law, son-in-law, son-in-law.
Generally speaking, men are more magnanimous and care less about some housework, while women stare at housework every day and care about them every day.
After a man is married, whether the "pillow wind" has positive energy will affect his attitude towards things.
As a husband, how to deal with the relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is already a headache. It is even more difficult to deal with the relationship between wives and wives, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law.
There is a nonsensical problem: the daughter-in-law and mother fell into the water at the same time,Who do you want to save first?
If you save your mother first, your daughter-in-law has opinions; if you save your daughter-in-law first, you are not filial.
Family conflicts are not a matter of urgency. As long as they distinguish between inside and outside, it is easy to deal with. Brothers and sisters should discuss more and let the daughter-in-law and son-in-law interfere less, so as to avoid being overly talkative.
Remember, good things must work together, and bad things must be "separately communicated."
04
Third, stay away from "parents' property" and fight on your own.
Some people say that the hatred of brothers and sisters comes from their parents.
As long as the parents favor someone, they will give them more money, and leave the house and other property to him as much as possible.
The behavior of patriarchal and useless children is unreasonable in the eyes of ordinary people, but it still happens to parents.
Unbalanced psychology can tear up feelings.
People who are truly capable have completely got rid of their dependence on their parents from the day they entered the society. No matter how much money is in the family, parents can take it if they are willing to give it, and forget it.
Away from property disputes, the contradiction between brothers and sisters is solved. Your generosity has made you independent.
05
Fourth, stay away from "selfishness" and learn to tolerate and share.
Carnegie said: “Selfishness is nature. It is hidden deep in everyone’s heart. As we grow up, we should know how to constantly overcome this problem of selfishness and make ourselves generous.”
Carnegie in "Interpersonal Psychology",He told a story: a rich man wants to keep all his property for himself, and he is very stingy to his wife and children. He never confided in others, being alone.
Rich people are very unhappy, and relatives avoid him.
On a snowy day, he went out alone and found it meaningless to live. He met a homeless man, and said all his inner troubles. After speaking, tears broke down.
The tramp comforted him : "You are willing to share your mood with me, why don't you share it with your family?"
Yes, why do we always give good faces to others, but are unwilling Smile to your family?
brothers and sisters are right-hands. When everyone shares happiness and wealth together, they will not suffer losses, but a harmonious family will be created.
06
Tolstoy once said: "Happy families are similar, and unfortunate families have their own misfortunes."
As a member of the family, you need to find differences Point, but also to find common points.
The difference is personality, work, mood, marriage, etc., the same is "blood, filial piety, companionship, care" and so on.
Resolving contradictions is a process of seeking common ground while reserving differences.
Between brothers and sisters, there has never been a deep hatred, there are only the heart that can't pass, the face that can't let go, and the money that can't be parted.
is originally from the same root, why separate?
Author: Commoner.
follow my text,Step into your mind.
The picture in the article comes from the Internet.
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