Love psychology: chasing a person, first of all causes her cognitive dissonance

There is such a phenomenon in

in psychology, called cognitive dissonance , which is a theory put forward by psychologist Festinger. This phenomenon is very interesting. It refers to the behavior and inner feelings of people. The phenomenon of physical and mental discomfort and discomfort caused by inconsistent thinking , this theory has been used in many psychological studies, and is also widely used in social life, then if you look at this from the perspective of love cognitive dissonance What should the phenomenon be like?

Now we know that Cognitive dissonance is a kind of uncomfortable and uncomfortable reaction caused by inconsistent behavior and thinkingIn love, this phenomenon abounds, let's come Let me give you a few examples to give everyone a better understanding of what cognitive dissonance is It's uncomfortable, this kind of uncomfortable phenomenon belongs to the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance, You obviously miss her very much, but you deliberately don't think about her, this is cognitive dissonance

When you want to give that girl one day Gifts, but you are afraid that she will reject you, but you feel uncomfortable if you don’t give gifts. This phenomenon also belongs to cognitive dissonance. The entanglement and discomfort are all phenomena of cognitive dissonance , is the one who loves the most

but there is also a solution to cognitive dissonance,In our psychology, there are several ways to adjust cognitive dissonance. Look at her shortcomings and convince yourself that she is not as good as she imagined, so that you don't like her anymore , so that your cognitive dissonance will be eased

[2] Increase your cognition

If you like someone, But she doesn't like you, causing you to have cognitive dissonance, then you can increase your cognition, such as finding another favorite target than , you find that her friend can also be , so your cognitive dissonance It is eased, this is also a method

[3] Reduce the choice

If you like someone, and she does not like you that much, then you have cognitive dissonance, Then you can tell yourself, I like her , whether she likes me or not, I just like her anyway, reducing my sense of choice , which can also ease your cognitive dissonance She gave her a gift and wanted her to see your heart, but it would be hard not to give it to you, so you developed cognitive dissonance. Then you give the gift, so that your behavior and thoughts are consistent, so that your cognitive dissonance will be alleviated

These are some methods to alleviate your cognitive dissonance. If you explain it in a more vernacular way, is to make yourself comfortable, , but this does not mean that you can do anything to make yourself comfortable. If you only have a criminal mind to make you comfortable, then these methods are not applicable. While making ourselves comfortable, we should not hurt others.

How can we use this theory to fall in love?

First of all, this theory is absolutely applicable. If you want to chase someone, you can't always make yourself cognitive dissonance. If you are the only one who has cognitive dissonance in love, and the other party has no feelings for you at all, Then you are just helping her to chase yourself, helping others to chase you, and later you will find that you love more and more, but the other party doesn't know what you are doing

So if we want to chase someone, we must first Causing the other party's cognitive dissonance is to make the other party feel uncomfortable. This discomfort does not mean making the other party feel sick, disgusted, etc., but what we say in psychology, when the other party's thoughts and behaviors are inconsistent, the discomfort that arises

But how to cause cognitive dissonance is really hard to say. After all, everyone has different thoughts and behaviors. It was love at first sight, and it was uncomfortable to go back at night without thinking about her, but I couldn’t sleep because of her, so I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep at night. And some people have experienced a lot, it is difficult for you to cause her cognitive dissonance towards you The way of cognitive dissonance can actually make the other party have cognitive dissonance.

[1]Change behavior You suddenly stop this behavior, then she will feel uncomfortable, and then cognitive dissonance will produce ,Maybe your chance will come

[2]Increase your awareness

You like someone, but you can't get a response from her, you increase your awareness and find that her friends can also be, Then you start talking to her friends In good times, she may have cognitive dissonance . Such a reverse operation is actually possible, but you have to deal with this scale and relationship. If you want or not, you just want to cause her cognitive dissonance, or else If you really want to chase her friends, don't step on two boats.

At the end, you should also know what cognitive dissonance is. This psychological theory has a very wide range of applications in the workplace, sales, and love. If you want to pursue a person, you must first cause her cognitive dissonance. But theory is a theory after all. If you want to apply theory to reality, you must combine the actual situation with your personal ability.

Then you give the gift, so that your behavior and thoughts are consistent, so that your cognitive dissonance will be alleviated

These are some methods to alleviate your cognitive dissonance. If you explain it in a more vernacular way, is to make yourself comfortable , but this does not mean that you can do anything to make yourself comfortable. If you only have a criminal mind to make you comfortable, then these methods are not applicable. we While making yourself comfortable, don't hurt others

How to use this theory to fall in love?

First of all, this theory is absolutely applicable. If you want to chase someone, you can't always make yourself cognitive dissonance. If you are the only one who has cognitive dissonance in love, and the other party has no feelings for you at all, Then you are just helping her to chase yourself, helping others to chase you, and later you will find that you love more and more, but the other party doesn't know what you are doing

So if we want to chase someone, we must first Causing the other party's cognitive dissonance is to make the other party feel uncomfortable. This discomfort does not mean making the other party feel sick, disgusted, etc., but what we say in psychology, when the other party's thoughts and behaviors are inconsistent, the discomfort that arises

But how to cause cognitive dissonance is really hard to say. After all, everyone has different thoughts and behaviors. It was love at first sight, and it was uncomfortable to go back at night without thinking about her, but I couldn’t sleep because of her, so I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep at night.And some people have experienced a lot, it is difficult for you to cause her cognitive dissonance towards you The way of cognitive dissonance can actually make the other party have cognitive dissonance.

[1]Change behavior You suddenly stop this behavior, then she will feel uncomfortable, and then cognitive dissonance will produce , maybe your chance will come

[2] Increase cognition

You like someone, but you can't get it In her response, you increase your cognition and find out that her friend can actually do it, and then when you start to be nice to her friend, she may have cognitive dissonance , such a reverse operation is actually possible, However, you have to deal with this scale and relationship. If you want , you just want to cause her cognitive dissonance, or if you really want to chase her friends, don't step on two boats.

At the end, you should also know something. It is called cognitive dissonance. This psychological theory has a very wide range of applications in the workplace, sales, and love. If you want to pursue a person, you must first cause her cognitive dissonance. But theory is a theory after all. Apply theory to reality, but also combine the actual situation with personal ability