I am 29, the coordinates are in a provincial capital city, and he is 29 the same age outside of marriage, and the coordinates are in my home county. I met him when we were re-reading, and we only spent a year together, but at the beginning of my relationship, I liked him, he is Our class leader has good grades and high ability, but I have low self-esteem and focus on the college entrance examination, so I didn't say it. Later, he said that he also liked me, but he didn't pierce this layer of window paper.
At that time, I was thinking of applying for a school in the same city as him, but I didn't apply for it later. I went to his school to find him when I was a freshman. When he got married, he gave me some money and everyone lost contact. Ten years later, I accidentally dragged me into the group, knowing that he was married and having children, adding him WeChat and giving him some money, but he confiscated it.
The story is also very cliché. At that time, my child was only one and a half years old, and his child was born in January. I confessed to him that I liked him at the time, because I felt that I would have no chance if I didn’t say it. Who knew he would ask me if I still like him now? ? I said I liked it, and it was really the kind that was still in my heart, and then we started.
gave up for the first time. After a few days, he said that he broke up. The reason was that he was in love and stopped politely, and then they deleted each other's WeChat. Later, he couldn't hold back. He said that he still met someone he liked and wanted to try it, and then we Continuing to this day, there is a year of chatting between three and five, because it is on Weibo, almost I leave a message to him to see, he said that the best state of us is that we are not dependent on each other, we can't chat often, and we can't see each other often. See you about once a month, and now I finally understand the consequences of being dependent on each other.
Our relationship has been very stable until the end of the day. In April, I got pregnant unexpectedly and took the contraceptive pill . Since then, the frequency of our chat has increased until now, and he basically does not give me sweet words, just If he likes me, he doesn't say it often, and he doesn't say anything like me. I asked him why he didn't say it. He said that if I didn't like you, you wouldn't be up to now. Is it interesting to keep talking about it?
He wouldn't spoil me either, he said that our relationship must be restrained, there is no other way, but he never said his wife was bad, never complained to me, both sides have sex, but I feel his sexual desire is not Especially big, his wife was pregnant and he abstained from sex for a year and a half. Every time he was with him, he was tired when I asked for more.
He met on a blind date, and then he fell out of love for three years and didn't come out, and then the blind date for two months, the woman forced to get engaged , otherwise she would break up, just because he wanted to have a home, so he got engaged, in his words his wife He is obedient, admires him very much, sees little stars in his eyes, and his wife is the first love, and no one will get married. After marriage, he spoils his wife very much. Every holiday, he must buy gifts, and he also shows affection in his circle of friends ( Basically writing a love story to show off a gift), the character is a good husband.
throws out the idea of cheating. He is really a good husband. If there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he will apologize to each other. He has a good marriage. He said that it is the same as whoever gets married. He is emotionally stable and has an easy-going personality, which is what Huoyang said. Soft and hard; but he said that he thinks too much and sleep is not good, he said that it would be good to live to 60, this is not to give him a halo, a good husband, good son and good father, he will play with his son for an hour every day , his wife was emotionally unstable when the child was born, and he took care of the child. Basically, his wife only fed the child, and basically he coaxed the child to sleep at night, so his wife wanted two and three children, which can be confirmed.
When I first got together with him, his child was just born, he often told me that he missed his ex-girlfriend, and he couldn't forget it for three years. Later, when I got along with him, he said that love will disappear, and feelings It will also disappear. They all say that if he wants to forget his ex, either he has not enough time or his new love is not good. If he forgets his ex-girlfriend, it is most likely because of my appearance. Later, he never mentioned his ex-girlfriend again.
gave up for the second time, just today, just came back from a break. Yesterday he suddenly said that he had been thinking about the question I asked him: what is the meaning of our insisting on ? Now that I understand it, he said that we are like Trumen in Truman's world, deceiving ourselves in our own little world, and he said that since we are wrong, let's stop, he will worry about gains and losses, very entangled and depressed, we can Being an upright friend, he didn't want to continue to be so entangled.
Did I say that I also worry about gains and losses? He said of course, he said, "Going on will only hurt each other more, no matter how much we deceive ourselves in our relationship, it will end in a dead end, it will only bring endless pain and hurt, whether it's you or I will eventually lose each other. "
I never thought that he would worry about my gains and losses. He never showed it, and he restrained himself. I always thought that he just liked it lightly. I know that when a man mentions a breakup, it is basically a complete separation. I have a mentality. prepare.
So today I asked him out to meet up, I asked him why, the day before yesterday was fine, but suddenly it was about to be divided? 520 also prepared a gift for me. I just finished a date the day before yesterday. I had four high-quality nights. The first time I added foreplay for more than an hour. He also said that our quality is getting better and better, and he even took me to watch a movie Fan, it was fine when I came back, I don't understand why you broke up with me suddenly?
His reply was, "I am very happy when we are together, but feel sad and tangled when we are apart, saying that we are not happy together, and we are getting more and more unhappy. When I see my son at home, I feel sorry for the child, and his wife is also unhappy. Ask him why he is holding his mobile phone in the study every day. They who never quarrel often quarrel recently, and his work efficiency is also very low. These various reasons cause him to not eat or sleep well. He said that he himself is moderately anxious. Now, the feeling of seeing each other is great, and it’s getting worse now.
I said that without me, are you happy? He said at least it’s better than now, and the emotional pain is only temporary” I cried and said that I Disagree, why did you disagree when I mentioned breaking up last time, why do you agree now when you mention me? He said it was no use if he disagreed, he said he had never been in two boats, he said to give each other a month to quit, and we would meet in a new identity after a month, that is, he said to be friends, after all, we know each other It's been ten years.
I asked how to be a friend. After all, he said that he cares about me, and I will care about him too. He said that if we don’t meet, we can chat but don’t talk about feelings. What’s more, he blocked my Weibo, and I refused to receive private messages. , the mobile phone number has also been blocked, which is really a heartless operation, saying that I will pull it back after a month, if there is any difficulty, I can call, he can help me, and I can find him if I have anything, but don’t talk about feelings anymore, he let me Come on, I will quit a habit in 21 days, and it will be fine after 30 days.
I asked him, are you afraid of losing in the end? He said yes, he said that we can't have good results, it's better to take advantage of each other and not get bored with each other, he doesn't want to get deeper and deeper, long pain is worse than short pain, stop loss in time. He also said that now his energy is partly at home, partly at work, partly with me. He really doesn't have that much energy. I know he is heartless, because his ex-girlfriends didn't even have to do friends when they broke up. He's been in a lot of love affairs, so he basically knows women better.
I have feelings for him, I don't know what love is like, but I sincerely wish him, I hope he is happy, and he never said that he loves me, I feel that he just likes me, but not love!
Question 1: I don't understand
. I learn every day how to get along for a long time without making trouble. Occasionally, I apologize first. He wants to buy a gift, but I don't want it. I don't spend his money, no money. I don’t usually bother with contacts, but I have a more persistent personality. Virgo, I ask him a lot of questions. He always says that he feels like he is leading an apprentice. Harmony, the quality is getting better and better, why did he break up with me?
I really don't understand, does he also have moral attack? He also said that the water flows, but he said that all his efforts were in vain! We agreed to leave for a long time, but he suddenly left the stage. He said that even if we walked for 10 years, the result would be the same. If we find out one day, it will affect four families. I said I knew the result long ago, (see Huoyang sees a lot and is ready to end at any time) I am willing to gamble, and I am also willing to lose, he said why should he gamble if he loses?
In fact, I am not in pain, jealous, possessive, etc. entanglement is with me, and my emotions are repeated, just because I am too serious, it is full of torture to me, because I liked him ten years ago, but I always distrusted him. , Doubt, worry about gain and loss, every time I meet and come back, I always have to delay for 2 days.
My understanding is that my presence affected his family, work and his emotions, so he chose to give up on me in the face of reality. I know that family is the most important thing to him and he is very caring.
Question 2:
We start with sex, what is the end? When I finally broke up, I said that if I wasn't important, I wouldn't be here.It's not like he's lying, he's also reluctant to give up, and it's revealed in his expression. He is not an easily moved person, in his words no one can move him. He always said that he was ruthless, but in fact he was very affectionate, and it was estimated that he wanted to cover up his affection with his ruthlessness.
In the end, I thought that although he was unfeeling, he was also kind and righteous. When had a miscarriage of , he would be very busy with auditing. I did not let him come, and he also asked for leave to come, saying that we would face each other together, and he wanted to pay me for the operation. I didn't ask him to pay because I thought I could afford the cost myself. Time can be considered to be able to accompany him. At first, he didn’t give much time. Later, he would chat with me every night. I think it also takes a lot of time, which caused him to have no energy, so he stopped.
After all, we are only 29. It is when we are busy with our career and family. Anyway, he is the kind of person who hardly speaks his heart. I don't know if he is good to me because he feels guilty or if he likes me! Some time ago, my child was hospitalized, because one of the blood items was high, and the doctor wanted to rule out blood diseases, tumors, etc. When the result did not come out, I couldn't eat well and couldn't sleep well, which caused me to be highly nervous, anxious, and neuropathy . It was him. Calling me supports me, but it doesn't comfort me or encourage me. Anyway, it gives me strength!
He also said to let me guide my husband. After all, the most important thing is to get along with people who get along with each other day and night. In his words, if he doesn't like me, I care who my husband is and who my children are has nothing to do with him.
Question 3:
said that he will be friends after a month of disconnection. Do I want to be friends with him? Is being a friend the way he left for himself? Can we get back together? I don't know if he will have a lover in the future, but I feel that there is almost no possibility for me! One day after the disconnection, he posted on Weibo. From my feeling, I felt that he had to post a mood, so he kept waiting. Sure enough, he posted it a day later, because he said that he would be sad when separated, but he knew me. I followed him, but I didn't cancel it. I don't know if he posted it for me.
Although I couldn't accept it at the time, I was sober at this time. I don't know if I love him or not, but I really hope he is happy and I don't want to put pressure on him. The story of tree hole , I also learned tolerance, I really wish him, wish him happiness. He also cheered me on. Since the two are in pain together, we should separate. After we separate, we must live better than now.
He said he was an egoist! He didn't give me any promises and didn't give me any hope. It's honest. I think he must also sincerely wish me! To be honest, after I decided to separate, I really felt relieved, and it may have caused consumption to me invisibly, but I was reluctant to bear it!
His influence on me is because his greatest interest is reading books and watching movies, and he often recommends movies to me to watch. I can also learn something from the movies, improve myself, know how to solve problems when encountering problems, and also know how to manage I am married, and I know how to stabilize my emotions.
Reflection:
is with him, he is my second man, so basically I have no dating experience, and the marriage ended in confusion, so I always have a lot of questions to ask him when I get along with him, he said that he himself It's like taking an apprentice. A few days ago, I asked him what is the meaning of our persistence?
Then he thought too and broke up with me, so I asked a lot of questions, which might have affected him, if I was wiser and didn't have so many questions, he might not have that much pressure and then broke up, I ended up It’s still not suitable for extramarital affairs, so I have many questions. He is also worried about me. He will definitely think that I will leave him one day. I am not firm and doubt him, so he should do it first. I understand it like this .
No matter what the relationship is, but I really feel the power, thank him for bringing me a short love, let me experience what is the real relationship, that's enough, as for him, I don't want to forget, bring Continue to live a good life with the spirit of getting what you can get forever, and it is not bad to leave someone you can miss.
ps, when I first broke up, I couldn’t control myself and told my best friend that my best friend is morally conservative. She said this: “I want to say something ruthless to wake you up. It’s because you are so backward. He doesn’t take it seriously. Take the initiative. The girl who comes to the door, he is happy enough. Don't make yourself so embarrassed. You are worthless in his heart. People take care of their own family." It really hurt me.
If it wasn't for the story I've been reading for a year, how could I have such a heart, I guess I'd have to die at this time, after all, I'm also a person with a moral stick~ I'm writing here at this time, if I leave Can bring him happiness, I am willing to leave.
is a bit messy, maybe it's just separated, let's make do with it, it can be made public.
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