Honoring parents and elders is a positive thing that deserves to be spread. But if under the banner of filial piety and help, you have to "support" everything, then it will not be kindness and virtue, but "the Virgin".
People's hearts can't be too greedy, and they can't have too many calculations. Because you want too much, you will get tired of living. And calculating others everywhere will make you lose a lot of fun.
If our object is a person who only considers everything for his own family and relatives, we have to carefully consider whether we want to be with each other. If
is already together, then you have to consider how to prevent yourself from being disadvantaged and not being used by the other party.
01, Ms. Yang
Some time ago, my daughter went home with a boy, and it seemed that she was planning to get married.
may be a fan of the authorities, and bystanders are clear. I saw that the boy's face was a little shrewd, and I vaguely sensed that he was not pure from his words.
However, the daughter seems to know nothing.
Therefore, even though my daughter has been to his house and met his parents, and both have the will to marry each other, I am still worried. I told him that I would visit in person after a while and have a good chat with their family. He agreed without saying anything.
went to his house in person, and after talking with their family, my conjecture was confirmed. That day, the prospective son-in-law took me to the house he bought in the city. The house is medium in size and the decoration is OK. It can be seen that he is also a motivated and somewhat capable person.
However, what I didn't expect was that not only his parents, but also some relatives such as seven aunts and eight aunts were in their house that day.This battle left me stunned for a moment. However, that wasn't the thing that surprised me the most, it was the conversation with them that really shook my head.
02,
Those relatives and his parents seem to be very satisfied with him, and a lot of words are praised for him. At first this made me a little surprised and puzzled, after all, no matter how good one person is, everyone cannot be satisfied. But what they said after that gave me the answer.
His relatives said that their family was relatively poor, and their prospective son-in-law was the only promising one among their generations. Moreover, the prospective son-in-law will help them every month after work. If there is anything in need, he will try his best to help. He will buy a lot of gifts during the Chinese New Year and festivals. They accepted it with peace of mind, and when it came to the back, they even thought of our family as their "funder" and "cash machine".
The more important thing is that the prospective son-in-law actually means the same thing, and he also said that he can't forget his relatives when he has a future. I hope we can understand and help him.
He also said that after my daughter gets married, they will become a family, and only when everyone lives well can they live in harmony.
I am speechless. I know that it is not easy for poor families to cultivate talents, and it is understandable to help the family, but if there is excessive greed, it is a problem of character.
As long as the parents can accept it, if the seven aunts and eight aunts have to take care of them, then I really dare not marry. Moreover, his attitude and idea about marriage is to make his family better, and the purpose is not simple at all.
03,
One more thing. Among the relatives, one was his uncle, who was in his early thirties.A few months ago, the blind date was finally successful, and I plan to get married by the end of the year. But before that, the woman offered to let him rebuild the house as a marriage house. , otherwise you will not marry.
My uncle is already in his thirties, and he has no skills. If he misses this one, he may be single for a lifetime. Therefore, he gritted his teeth and agreed even if he had no money at the time. As for how I knew about it, wasn't that what they told me.
This little uncle is also shameless, and he borrowed 200,000 yuan from his nephew, my daughter's boyfriend, in front of me. My uncle wanted to marry a daughter-in-law to rebuild the marriage house, but he borrowed all the money for building the house from his nephew. Ordinary people probably couldn't do such a thing. However, what is even more unbelievable is that the prospective son-in-law really agreed!
200,000 is said to be borrowed, this is throwing money, not borrowing money. I think I realize how weird this family is, and I don't plan to marry my daughter to him.
I found an excuse to end the conversation, and when I got home, I told my daughter what I had seen, heard and felt. After some deliberation, the daughter finally decided to break up with him.
Help is limited, and there must be a bottom line when seeking help. Unlimited funding and support to others, perhaps more to satisfy their own vanity and hypocrisy.
Accepting aid and help from others again and again with peace of mind, what is the difference between that and a beggar?
In addition, the center of marriage is actually the husband and wife. We should think more about each other and treat each other with sincerity, rather than for the so-called seven aunts and eight aunts.
It is understandable to be considerate and filial to parents. After all, it is not easy for them to give birth to us and raise us. As for those relatives and friends, we will try our best to help those who can help, and let them solve it by themselves if we can't. We just need to do our part.
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