Nowadays there are very few marriages arranged by parents. As children, we all hope that our parents can recognize and accept our lovers. However, in real life, many people are troubled because their parents do not approve of their choices.
"My mother doesn't approve of my boyfriend and doesn't want me to marry out of town. I am very painful, what should I do?"
Faced with the closest people, they can't support their choice, even they are the strongest opponents , We often feel more painful and confused, and don’t know how to choose our future.
In fact, when we suffer because our parents do not approve of our boyfriend, we always have such a belief in our hearts:
The object of communication must be approved and supported by the parents. If we do not get the approval and support of our parents, it shows that our choice is wrong.
But, is this belief correct? Can parents all over the world recognize the objects of their children?
The truth is: not all parents will recognize it.
why not?
It may be that they don't like the type of boyfriend, it may be that they think that person is not worthy of their children, or it may be that they think material matters are the most important thing.
But no matter what they are unable to support their children's choice, it is their own business, their decision! If we cannot accept the facts and want to contend with the facts, we will lose, and 100% will lose.
The fact here is that the father (or mother) is not always able to support and approve the objects of the children's contacts.
And, when you hold the idea that the person I associate with must be approved and supported by your parents, what kind of person are you? When you are with your parents and when you are with your boyfriend (girlfriend) , How do you behave?
It can be imagined that when you hold this belief, you are under a lot of pressure and you are very unhappy.
When you were with your boyfriend, you felt that you deceived your parents. When you are with your parents, thinking about your boyfriend and being sad, you will even feel ashamed of your boyfriend because your parents don't like him.
When we understand our belief that "the person we associate must obtain the approval and support of our parents",When it is not necessarily correct, we will feel relaxed and no longer struggle with whether we must get the approval and support of our parents.
When you give up the idea of satisfying your parents, what kind of person are you?
Please close your eyes and imagine and feel it. If you don’t have this idea in your mind, in front of your parents, Can you accept their non-acceptance? And in front of your boyfriend, can you also be very calm?
We are all adults and we should be responsible for our actions. Parents can’t forgive it’s their business, and it’s their business that they blame us.
As children, can we respect our parents as always while insisting on our position?
Can we stay unmoved and stick to what we want and love, but still love deeply 、Respect our parents?
When parents put pressure on us, can we listen to them, give them a hug, and attach the sentence "I know you are good for me, but I will make the best choice?" "_P1p
Parents are not always right, and the decisions they make are not 100% correct. Parents need to be re-educated. They need to know that the child is already old and must respect the child instead of restricting the child’s freedom. How to educate parents again? Stick to your own position, but still love them as before.
Blind obedience does not mean filial piety.
You listen to the results of your parents and make yourself very unhappy. These emotions will explode one day. When an explosion occurs, what you do and say will hurt your parents even more.
Because you have chosen your parents’ decision, you will feel powerless, unable to like the people you like, and even blame your parents for this! And more importantly, your life will become a mess, which really makes you miserable, What is unhappy is not the behavior or position of your parents, but your thoughts.
Obviously, when you think like this, you suffer. When you have no such thoughts or thoughts, you are free.
I heard that psychological counseling warm reminder
The real problem is not outside,It lies in our hearts.
Experts in this issue: Xu Wenjiao, a psychological counselor at Guangzhou Hearing Bar Psychological Counseling Center, a national second-level psychological counselor, and a sandbox game counselor-Xu Wenjiao
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