I was chatting in the group yesterday and found that another sister was forced to marry by her parents and was about to collapse. The girl is 25 years old this year, she is a good age, but in the eyes of her parents, she is already an older young woman.
She said that since last year, her parents have often said in front of her who's son is good, do you want to get to know him? Otherwise, whoever wants to introduce you to someone, you can go and see if you take the time. My friend was very speechless, as if she was a girl who couldn't get married in the eyes of her parents.
After the friend said, a soul question was sent out in the group: Why do our parents want to marry us quickly?
I believe that besides friends, there are also many people who are curious about this issue. So I specifically asked a few elders about this question, let's listen to their heart!
Aunt Li: When we are at our age, we will be full of uncertainty about the future. I want to find a partner for the child as soon as possible, so that I can rest assured.
I am 55 years old today, and her father is 57. At our age, life has already entered a countdown. The future is full of uncertainties. No one knows which one will come first. The only thing we worry about is the child. My child is her, and there is no brother or sister. What if there is something between me and her dad, what should I do if we leave her alone?
Actually, her dad and I didn't want her to marry as soon as possible. If we can accompany her for the rest of our life, we are willing to raise her for the rest of our life. But we will leave sooner or later, and she must have a home and a reliable person to accompany her to face the wind and rain.
Uncle Zhang: I'm just worried that the child won't find it, so I will leave myself alone.
You see, let's go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. We can only pick good ones early. If you go a little later, you can only pick what others have left. I think that finding a partner for marriage is similar to buying food. Finding a partner earlier allows you to have the time and capital to pick and choose one that suits you.
If you are old then, others may think that you have no right to pick at your age. Or when the time comes, because you are anxious to get married, you can just find a partner. After that, you won't have to suffer for a lifetime after you get married.
As parents, we really don't have much demand. In fact, we want our children to live well in the future.
Aunt Xu: I just think that if the child gets married early, I can still help with a child. If it's a late marriage, it's all on my own.
My own daughter, I know that since her father was used to her at home, she didn't suffer much. I thought that if she got married earlier and gave birth to a child at that time, I would also be able to help her take care of her and make her less stressed. If she gets married and has children in the future, I may not be able to help if I want to help.
Many young people now suffer from postpartum depression because of having children. You read the news that there are many nanny abused children with their children. How can this be reassuring.
I let my child get married earlier, but in fact I want to have a child earlier, which is good for her, and I can do her a favor so that she will not be so tired.
Conclusion:
Actually, the most difficult thing in the world is to think with the same position. When we are not going through a certain stage, or when we are not someone, there is no way to empathize or use the other person’s perspective. Think about the problem.
Just like parents don’t think about the pressure of marriage from our perspective, and don’t think that our current focus is on careers and dreams. In fact, we don't think from the perspective of parents. Their biggest wish now is to see their children get married as soon as possible and have a way of relying on them.
So, when our parents are forced to marry, maybe we can be patient, or we can try to communicate with them, let them understand our thoughts and our choices. Sometimes, communication is actually a way to get close to each other.
How to choose in life depends on our own choice. Others cannot influence our decision. But how to get along with parents also requires communication and understanding.
Today's topic: What do you think of today's topic? Tell Sang Bai what you think!
.-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-