Some people say that "marriage separation in two places" is a modern marriage with Chinese characteristics. Whether in ancient or modern times, the vast majority of families are facing separation in two places because of income or work needs.
People who have not experienced the separation of the two places will say that distance will produce beauty, and there may be more conflicts between husbands and wives who have been together for a long time, and a lot of normal things will happen because of life trivial matters. Couples who have not been together for a long time may argue less, because there are fewer meetings, and each time they meet, they will cherish the time they spend together.
But it is difficult to understand the pain and regret without being in that position and atmosphere. The husband and wife itself is a relationship that needs mutual support and care. It is more about relying on and supporting each other. If two people live apart for a long time, they may question their relationship over time.
So, how long can you hold on to the separation of husband and wife? Listen to what these three women said!
Ms. Chen: I became stronger in the days when the two were separated, and the strong seemed to no longer need him.
My husband and I started to separate from each other when our child was one year old. At that time, my husband's company started a new project in another place, and wanted a reliable person to lead the team, so I sent him. When I went there, I said I would come back in a year, so I agreed, thinking about it for a year, and after a while, it passed.
After my husband left, my mother-in-law and I stayed at home. I had to go to work during the day, and my mother-in-law would take the children at home. After I came back in the evening, I took the child by myself. That year, because of the child’s weaning, I became quite weak. I got sick and fever every three days. I often stayed up all night at night and kept crying. I want to walk around the room alone in my arms at night, and I often take her to the emergency room in the middle of the night.
At that time, my heart was really broken. Many times I thought about taking the child to die together. But after all, it was reluctant. After that year, the child slowly took care of it. But her husband didn't come back, saying that the project had just started and he would stay for another two years.
I don’t feel much about whether he will come back now,Because the hardest days have passed, it won't matter anymore. I think even without him, I can support this family alone.
Ms. Liu: From the initial enthusiasm to the current indifference, marriage may have become an empty shell.
When my husband and I were married, they were separated from each other. He almost never participated in all the checkups during my pregnancy. He did not come back in time even when I gave birth.
Actually, the time we were apart is not bad, at least once a month or two months. But every time he comes back, it takes only two days, and he still has to see his friends, leaving me even less time. Sometimes I want to chat with him, and he falls asleep without saying much.
I have been looking forward to it from the very beginning, but now I don’t care, I don’t look forward to it, and my heart has stopped. If this has always been the case, our marriage may not last long.
Ms. Luo: I have thought about divorce countless times, but I persisted in it countless times. I don't know how long the love in my heart will last.
Many friends before marriage, including my parents, are not optimistic about our marriage, because he and I are not working in the same city, and worry that I will not be separated in the future. I thought it was nothing at the time. Now that the transportation is so convenient, it is not difficult to meet each other. He will come back if he wants me, I think he can just go there.
The first year after marriage is really nothing too difficult. If two people miss each other, they will meet each other in each other's city. But after having children, I felt a little unable to persist. Because in many days when I was helpless and uncomfortable, he was not by my side. There are more and more thoughts of divorce. If it weren't for the children, I might have chosen to divorce long ago.
Concluding remarks:
A short-term separation between the two places can be better than a newlywed, but a long-term separation between the two places will slowly wear down the feelings between the two people.Let this love become weaker and weaker.
Long-term separation of husband and wife in two places will bring three kinds of harm to both parties:
1. Cannot feel each other's love
If two people are away from each other for a long time, they will only communicate through phone and WeChat, and they will not feel each other’s attitude at all. , You don’t know whether the other person is happy or sad, or whether he loves you or is cold.
Moreover, when people are extremely sad, they need the support and relief of the people around them, but because they are in a different place, it is difficult to get help from the other person. After a long time, you will feel that you are alone.
2. There are fewer topics, resulting in nothing to say.
Because the two people are in different environments, the things that happen around them are also different. When two people communicate, it is difficult to find the same topic that can be discussed. In the end, it may evolve into a situation where there may be nothing to say except to ask the child about the current situation.
3. One of the parties is likely to cheat
People are the most empty when they are alone. At this time, it is easy to have cheating behaviors due to inability to control the temptation.
Today's topic: How long can you hold on to the separation of husband and wife?
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