To be honest, sometimes women can't be too obedient. You are obedient but you will not be treated kindly in your marriage or in your in-laws. Everyone will only think you are bullied. You think that human heart can be exchanged for human heart, but can it really be so? More often it will only be chilling.
I don’t know why some people teach their daughters to work hard in marriage? Why? Is it possible to be a so-called "good woman" to become a "nanny" type of good wife and mother in marriage? Many women are very tired in marriage, but who cares about you? You can't be too sensible. Women who are too sensible often don't feel distressed.
It is not a good thing to ask for perfection in marriage, especially for married women, most women who marry into their in-laws will compromise and give up in conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because of their husbands, love, and family harmony. It is a good thing to respect the elders and respect your mother-in-law, but excessive tolerance will only make yourself more and more humble, so that you have no status in the mother-in-law's family.
By my side, many women have told me that their marriage is not happy: in the relationship between husband and wife, men prefer their mother-in-law and don't favor themselves; in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they are tolerant and always compromise and give up, just like no one Feeling like dolls. Although it is undeniable that as a junior, when dealing with conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you should indeed lower your posture and not confront her mother-in-law first, but if the mother-in-law is still unwilling to accept herself after she compromises, then women should also reflect on themselves. Is there a problem with the way I get along with my mother-in-law?
In any relationship, you should be flexible. When you need to be tough, you should be tough so that the other person will be jealous of you. Of course, when you should lower your posture, you should also be more reasonable and sensible. Your tenderness. When you learn to deal with the big and small things and interpersonal relationships flexibly around you, you will find that it is easier for you to afford it, let it go, and know how to do self-reflection is the foundation for a woman to stand in her husband's house.
A home still has to be shared, and if there is any work, we all do it together, and it will not make the woman too physically and mentally exhausted.
The reason why I wrote this article today is because a reader complained to me. She said that she finally realized that women can’t be “too weak”. You are very obedient and blindly be a good woman and a good daughter-in-law.But who cares about you? Every Chinese New Year, you do all the work in this family, but have you ever wondered why? When you are suffering, they have forgotten you.
Cheng Wen finally had a showdown with her mother-in-law. She is introverted and very gentle. Since marrying Wenzhe's family, she has devoted herself to this family wholeheartedly. When she married Wenzhe, her mother-in-law was disgusted because of her bad family background. After she married, her mother-in-law did not have a good face to her, and often troubled her because of a small matter.
At that time, every year when she returned to her hometown, Cheng Wen always carried large bags and small packages to please her mother-in-law, but in this way, her mother-in-law still looked at her, and she had no good words. Cheng Wen had to act cautiously and be cautious everywhere.
As soon as the Chinese New Year comes, Cheng Wen is the most tired, especially when it comes to the second, third, and fourth day of the middle school. There are so many guests at home. Cheng Wen has to get up and work early in the morning. Sometimes he starts washing vegetables at five in the morning. At two or three o'clock in the afternoon, there is still no food.
When she came to the table for dinner, the guests were almost eating. Cheng Wen couldn't eat a few bites, so she had to tidy the table and clean the dishes. But even so, Cheng Wen didn't mean to complain about her mother-in-law. As her mother-in-law gets older, she is young, and it is reasonable to do some work.
Cheng Wen is a very soft-hearted person. Even if she sometimes has conflicts with her mother-in-law, she will take the initiative to apologize and make peace with her mother-in-law. There is another reason why Cheng Wen can tolerate such harsh treatment from her mother-in-law and does not conflict with her mother-in-law, that is, Wenzhe will coax her and compensate her afterwards. Cheng Wen thought, even if she is for the sake of literature and philosophy, she must have a good relationship with her mother-in-law, and it doesn't matter if she and her mother-in-law cannot meet noodles a few times a year.
However, Cheng Wen's compromise did not make the mother-in-law aware of her goodness, but instead contributed to her "arrogant" arrogance, and the mother-in-law treated her very well. Especially in recent years, after Cheng Wen became a housewife, she didn't make any money. Every time she returned to her hometown, her mother-in-law's words were sour and irritating.
Days like this didn't last long. When did Cheng Wen start to resist?
Wenzhe has a younger brother,He was several years younger than him, and only got married this year. The newly married daughter-in-law is a girl from the city or an only child. The family financial conditions and looks good. As a daughter-in-law, Cheng Wen and Xiaoli are treated completely differently. Cheng Wen is in her hometown, and she does all the housework, and Xiaoli does it on her own. Sometimes, even if her mother-in-law asks her to do it, she ignores it.
Because both are daughters-in-law, Cheng Wen and Xiaoli have a good relationship. Although Xiaoli is an only child, she is not spoiled, and she is able to wash clothes, cook, and clean. It's just that Xiaoli is not so diligent every time she goes to her hometown. If she cooks, she will definitely not clean the dishes. If she is allowed to do both tasks, she is definitely not happy.
Compared with Xiaoli, Cheng Wen really obeyed her mother-in-law's words, because she didn't know how to refuse, so she let her mother-in-law make an inch. Not long ago, my mother-in-law asked Cheng Wen to wash all the clothes she had saved a year ago because the washing machine was broken. Cheng Wen called to ask and found out that the washing machine repairer could have come years ago because her mother-in-law thought Cheng Wen had gone back. Early, there is no need, Cheng Wen just washes her hands.
Seeing Cheng Wen busy in the yard, Xiaoli couldn't bear to run to help. Later, when her mother-in-law was away, Xiaoli told Cheng Wen: "Sister-in-law, you can't be like this, you have to have a little temper. , It’s because you do too much at home, so the mother-in-law will let you do it. As a daughter-in-law, we should do some work, but if the mother-in-law deliberately bullies us, we can’t look at you and suffer. You are too temperamental. Okay."
Cheng Wen heard it and said: "It's fine. They are all in the family. They don't want to care about so much. And your brother is good to me. I don't want him to be in a dilemma." Xiaoli laughed when she heard it: "Sister-in-law, you can't think that way. If your brother is really good to you, he will definitely not just tell you behind his back and let you accommodate your mother-in-law. A truly responsible person A man will be responsible for you. He will not be clear about his bias, but he is actually bullying. You just don’t say anything to let your mother-in-law bully you like this. A woman should have a temperament to be able to eat at her husband’s house. If you don't believe me, try it."
Cheng Wen looked at Xiaoli's hearty face, and was very envious, but she was usually like a stuffy jar, and she was disgusted by her mother-in-law, and she had never resisted her. Until that day, Wenzhe felt that there were many guests coming from home.Everyone went to the restaurant to eat together, but at 12 o'clock, the mother-in-law regretted that it was not safe and cost-effective in the restaurant and let Cheng Wen cook by herself.
Cheng Wen has more than 20 children and adults in front of him, but let Cheng Wen cook by herself. She is definitely unwilling, so she refused directly: "I am not a babysitter for you, not only at home. I am a woman, why do I work by myself? If you want to cook at home and eat at home, if you don’t want to cook together, then you’ll be hungry.”
The mother-in-law was still surprised when she heard this, but Xiaoli was there. Snickered aside.
Cheng Wen sat down in the living room after finishing talking. The mother-in-law naturally couldn't say anything about her for the sake of face, so she asked the older sister to help.
Zhang Ailing has a sentence in "Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-Law Relationship": "Women who love their husbands are happy to submit to their mother-in-law in order to make their husbands live properly."
Although many women do for their husbands and the whole Family harmony, as much as possible to accommodate to her mother-in-law, dare not resist her, but this is not the reason why men do not love their wives. No woman marries your family to suffer a loss. In the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if you fail to treat it fairly, it may hurt the hearts of both people.
Men can play a vital role in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As a bridge between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, although it is difficult for men to achieve absolute fairness in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it should be justified and not due to blood or other reasons. Other reasons only favor one side.
Many men feel that as long as they coax a good woman so that they can feel their love, then she is willing to bow her head in front of her mother-in-law for you. However, this is not a long-term solution to the conflict between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Xin, your marriage is not much better, the two of them will be separated sooner or later.
As Tu Lei said: “Don’t treat your daughter-in-law as your biological daughter, and don’t treat your mother-in-law as your mother; keep a bowl of soup away, be a measured mother-in-law and a measured daughter-in-law; then you will all be happy "_P1p
There must still be a certain distance between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, especially for the daughter-in-law, if she always pays blindly, she always gives in to her mother-in-law, but the mother-in-law still cannot accept herself.Then we should change the method, do both soft and hard, absolutely can not just suffer a loss by ourselves.
There is an old saying that "one thing drops one thing". It's either that two people don't quarrel or a symbiotic relationship. The most important thing is that you have to find a suitable way to operate. Whether you use persuasion or something else, you should not forget your own principles.
Respect and understand. Women should not be too weak. If you feel uncomfortable, you have to find a way to make yourself better.
We are not here to suffer, but we should try our best to make our lives more comfortable, love ourselves more, and love ourselves more. No one feels sorry for hard work, are you too stupid?
-END-
Today's topic:
In your marriage, are you a type of hard work, or dare to refuse?
Welcome to leave a message for discussion.
.-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-