The reader wrote to me and said:
I admit that I am a particularly emotional woman. In my cognition, this is also a specific manifestation of my love for my husband. However, my husband seemed to be a little unacceptable to my emotions, so that we only got married for half a year and my husband filed for a divorce. My husband’s comment on me: useless, crazy. I didn't want to divorce my husband, so I humbly said to my husband: Isn't it okay to change the point you hate me in the future? Husband: I have reminded you many times before. Have you changed it? Me: This time, I will definitely change it. However, the husband's attitude towards divorce was very firm.
Me: If you insist on divorce, I will die for you. Husband: Don’t tell me if you want to die, just blame yourself for your poor life.
At present, my husband has lived at his in-laws' house, and he does not answer the phone or occasionally responds to text messages. Every time he is: if he figured it out, we will go through the divorce procedures. Otherwise, I will find a proper time to sue.
My husband and I were in love freely and got married. During our relationship, my husband was very nice to me at the beginning, but after dating for 3 months, my husband broke up with me on the grounds that “we are not suitable.” At that time, I was a little emotional in front of him. Because I didn't want to break up with my husband (beautiful, kind-hearted, good family background, stable job), I acted more normally in front of my husband after that time from then on when we got married. But after getting married, I once again showed my "nature" and felt that there was no need to hide it between husband and wife. My emotionality is mainly reflected in three aspects: 1) If my husband cannot reply to my message in seconds or answer my phone call immediately, I will be suspicious. Even if he has a reasonable explanation to me later, I will still have a cold war with him for more than 3 days; 2) Every time I go to a restaurant with my husband, if the dishes I ordered are not delicious, I will choose to waste them; 3) At the level of spending, I have no plans and I don’t care about the difficulty of making money for my husband. I think my parents-in-law are not short of money anyway (in-laws are in business).
Muzili Emotional analysis:
In life, there are many women who are really kind and love their husbands very much. It is just because they are too emotional, which makes them feel tired when they live with them. I believe that your emotionality is mainly manifested in: often doing things that make your husband embarrassed; often making your husband think you are pretentious; or often making trouble in front of your husband. Remember: There is a fundamental difference between acting spoiled and being a mess. Analysis of personality traits of you and your husband: You are more "behaved", but your husband is not very good at accommodating. The result: You often quarrel over trivial matters. Maybe your husband just wants to have simple happiness instead of quarrel frequently, and he will feel that living with you is particularly tired.
Things you need to understand: Incompatible personalities will indeed make your partner experience a bad experience in marriage. Your personality is not formed in a day or two. Maybe you don’t want to be the annoying thing your husband hates at some point, but you can’t change your attitude towards life. As far as your husband’s attitude towards divorce is concerned, your continued entanglement is just to delay the divorce time. Remember: Maybe it’s not that you are bad, but that your husband doesn’t like girls with your personality. Also, because marriage requires couples to cooperate with each other, now that your husband is unwilling to cooperate, divorce is the best choice. In addition: When a man no longer loves you, all your retention is disturbing in his opinion. I hope you can listen to the true evaluation of your personality by classmates and friends around you. If you do have obvious personality defects, I hope you can restrain yourself in your future life, otherwise even if you reorganize your family, it will be a divorce result.
Regarding 3 small things that drive your husband crazy in life, I will analyze them one by one for you: 1) The relationship between husband and wife is not a necessity in life, but a product of icing on the cake. It comes from the fact that men value career at any time. Since men are not so leisurely when they go to work, it is normal for them to not be able to reply to your message or answer your phone calls occasionally. The key is that your husband will give a reasonable explanation afterwards. At this time, you are still resolute, and in his perception, it is unreasonable.Remember, you are indeed a more important person to your husband, but he doesn’t have to do anything else just to take care of your emotions every day, right? As an adult, you must learn to think from the perspective of others.
2) Perhaps when your husband first went to the restaurant with you, he would order a few dishes he liked, but after finding out that you like to waste food, your husband and you probably wouldn't take the initiative to order food when they go to the restaurant, but instead eat something you think is not delicious. The reason is that your husband will think that ordering vegetables but not eating them is a waste of food, which is also a sin. It is not ruled out that every time you order food, you can order four or five dishes for two people. The key is that your husband can't blame you, otherwise you will be angry, or he will be stingy; 3) Your husband is not ATM after all. He is not stingy with you in terms of spending money. He just thinks that after getting married, try not to ask your parents for money. Being able to live by yourself is the best way to live.
When you were in love for 3 months, your husband broke up with you; when you were less than half a year old, your husband filed for divorce. Please believe that there are some other things that your husband doesn’t like to see your living habits, but one thing is certain: your husband is now extremely disgusted with you. Let’s discuss another thing: when breaking up or divorce, use self-harm or death as a threat. Some people will think it is quite useful, but for some people, they will only think that you belong to the category of extreme things. The result is that you hate you very much, and now you are even a little afraid of you. In this case, you will be more determined to leave you. Your husband is now living in your in-laws' house, but he just doesn't want to have too much involvement with you.
There is no need to make yourself too nervous when running a marriage, because the unhappiness and sulk that you often show will make your lover feel particularly painful to live with you. The primary purpose of everyone’s marriage is to make the happiness of two people greater than the happiness of one person. If in a relationship, someone always feels pain, torture, and burden, what is the meaning of marriage to this person? Sometimes, when facing a person who once said that he would love you for the rest of his life, don’t focus on the other party not keeping his promises, but ask yourself, what kind of torture did you give to the other party in this relationship? People's hearts are full of flesh, and you need to ask yourself with a heart-to-heart: If the other party also manages your relationship in the same way as you, can you withstand it?
Edited by the editor:
No matter when you are in school, you follow the so-called useless theory of studying, or drink many bowls of poisonous chicken soup when choosing a marriage partner, people will eventually return to a more down-to-earth life. In a person’s life, two more important things need to be accomplished by themselves: career and family. During this period, the employer will not accept you just because you are not studying and have a personality, and your lover will not spoil you without limit because you have many bad habits.
You can choose not to take the ordinary path, the key is that you will run into walls everywhere in life; you can stick to your attitude towards love, the key is that when your words and actions are not recognized by your lover, he will consider changing you. Regarding marriage life, only when more words and deeds of both parties are recognized by each other can they show a more comfortable look. If two people are together, one party doesn’t like you, then you can only face the divorce result.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
