A few days ago, USNEWS released the 2023 American university rankings , which caused a "data fraud" storm Ivy League Columbia University, ranking "a big plunge", from 2nd place in 2021 to 18th place.
Columbia paid a heavy price. It can be foreseen that ,000 students and parents who are still graduating in school can only pay for the wrong decisions made by the administrative department.
△Columbia University admits that ranking data is fake (news pictures)
From individuals to institutions, from domestic to foreign countries, lies and shirking responsibility is not uncommon. Parents must have heard of such rumors: in order to apply for a better school for their children, they make false transcripts, SAT cheated, "Catching the knife" to help do scientific research projects and art works...
and even there is a consensus in the industry: There is a "whitelist" , and only choose to trust transcripts from honest and trustworthy schools (mostly foreign schools).
"Be honest and don't lie" is the first lesson for children. As parents, we often teach children to be honest when they are ignorant; in bedtime stories, we tell "Wolf Comes " to illustrate the serious consequences of lying. As a part of society, we subconsciously uphold moral codes and pass on the rules to our next generation.
However, in the adult public opinion field, we are influenced by another way of doing things: deny it if you are not caught, falsely lie - the cost is zero, and the benefits are huge.
If everyone around us is lying, do we still teach our children to be honest?
#1
Every lie
Every lie
are consuming you and my public interests
In the public report on the fraud of big data, the question of the true nature of the school's data is mainly about "The data provided by the proportion of less than 20 students in the class was 83%, and after correction was 57%, "The previous data reported by full-time professors with doctoral degrees was 100%, and after correction was 95.3%," "Teaching expenditure was previously reported at US$3.1 billion, exceeding the sum of Yale , Harvard , and Princeton."
In the face of these accusations that make people sweat, the Colonial University university’s defense was that there was an error in the data calculation method, but it failed to provide further explanation of the specific data. These defenses are like a child’s self-protection in the face of accusations and failing to successfully dispel external doubts. When news is overwhelming, people have generally believed in the existence of fraud.
Perhaps the school’s argument has something to stand firm, but because the explanation is too vague, it does not provide the complete truth, but instead makes the public more convinced: they must have "lied".
Columbia University's ranking has dropped rapidly this time, which may not be fair. After all, the school has been among the top ten members since 2005. Perhaps, it is not as good as No. 2, nor as bad as No. 18. For parents and students who choose Columbia University, it is even more unpredictable.
However, the damage to reputation and the decline in ranking are the moral cross that universities must bear in order to lie. Just like the classic "Wolf is Coming" story: When a lie has been released, it takes a huge price to get people to pick up their trust again.
△Before 2022, Columbia University's ranking in US News has been rising in recent years (news pictures)
Yes, tell a lie, make a fake, and cheat once. If it is not discovered, the benefit is the parties involved. Students can get good grades and be admitted to good schools. Administrative department personnel can get promotion and salary increase. Graduates can find jobs with the rankings, and everyone has honor. Once the lies are discovered, no matter whether they are innocent or not, they will be buried in the collapsed snow-capped mountains.
In the work of study abroad consultants, has an unwritten habit. Students from two target cities in a coastal province cannot sign "contracts containing visas" for them, regardless of whether the individual students are excellent or not.
has no other reason, because of these two target cities, from the end of the last century to the beginning of this century, too many people with household registration in the city obtained the US visa through "disheartened" method, so the entire group was included in the "strict review list" by US Embassy .
Even if time passes, China's economy develops rapidly, and students from these two cities still have a high risk of "no visa approval".
In recent years, American universities have been constantly adjusting their admission standards, and many universities have canceled the hard requirements for standardized scores such as SAT. In part, it is also out of the same consideration: as long as there is a screening test, there will be loopholes in cheating, and some target areas are high-risk areas for cheating.
There is a consensus in the industry. In the internal discussion, the University Admissions Committee implemented the "whitelist" management of , and only chose to trust those transcripts from honest and trustworthy schools; in China, most of the whitelists are often managed by foreign personnel.
A generation of people, a certain region, a certain school, has consumed more people's integrity value. It can be seen that the short-term benefits brought by lies do not really correct the problem, but make the public interest a scapegoat.
"The way of heaven has reincarnation", called "karma" in English. The human wisdom since ancient times has allowed us to choose to follow moral codes, allowing generations of parents to tell children ancient stories about morality, hoping that children can join the "white list" of group life.
"Lying" is often in line with short-term interests, but "honest" is often a long-term matter. In the long run, honesty brings greater benefits to people.
#2
It is difficult to admit "I'm wrong"
Acknowledge "I'll compensate"
Many times, we will lie because of people's instinct to seek benefits and avoid harm. The current short-term interests are too tempting, and the cost of taking responsibility is really difficult to face. Therefore, teaching children to take responsibility has become an important lesson.
Last week, I took my five-year-old child to play in the public grassland in the community. Just as I turned around and said something to someone else, the child cried like an alarm.
I saw the child sitting on the ground, covering his knees, and a child about ten years old was parked on the side while riding a bicycle and braked.
The injured child could only cry. The older child who caused the accident said hurriedly: "It's all his fault that he suddenly ran over and didn't see the way!"
Seeing me squatting down to comfort the child, the adults and children next to him surrounded him, and he pedaled into the bike and prepared to ride away.
I stopped him and asked the child: "Did the collision hurt? Move it and see if the bones are damaged?" After confirming, I found that it was just a skin trauma. I looked up and looked again. The child riding the bike had already started to ride slowly towards the unit building.
I called him back again and asked him: Who should be the main responsibility for riding a bicycle on a public grassland where people and vehicles are diverted?
Seeing him staring at the ground and not talking, I asked again: You two collided, you were riding a bike, he was just playing, who was getting more hurt? Shouldn't you at least apologize?
The older child then looked up and said, "I'm sorry."
I said that because the injury is not serious, he will not be held accountable, but it should be noted that cyclists should be responsible for riding in the community. Today, my younger brother is the victim, but before, my younger brother was also held accountable.
"Did you lose money, aunt?" asked the older child. It seems that he wanted to slip away before, but he has reached the age of understanding the importance of financial responsibility.
"Yes!" I recalled a small accident a year ago and realized that these two accidents caused by riding a bicycle showed a classic crisis in public space: in public space, people who evade responsibility take advantage.
Our community is a typical home community. There are many children and elderly people during the holidays. One day last year, the child was riding a bicycle in the community, and the speed was not very fast. I followed behind, about twenty meters apart. I was stunned and suddenly heard someone shouting in front of me: "Your child knocked down the old man!"
I hurriedly ran closer and saw an old woman sitting on a bench, accompanying a neighbor next to her. The child sat in the car and looked at me blankly.
The old woman showed me the scratch on her elbow, saying that the child hit her leg from behind, and fell down unsteadily for a while. The neighbor next to me said that this was indeed the case. While talking, the old man said that his waist was not good and he wanted to go to the hospital for a thorough examination.
My heart sank. A child under four years old doesn’t know anything and doesn’t understand the seriousness of the matter. As an adult, how could I never hear the urban legend of “Don’t help the fallen elderly”?
I can choose to deal with it completely on the matter with the principle of maximizing short-term interests. The child's slithering car is not strong, and as a parent, I have not witnessed the whole process. I can ask the property to retrieve surveillance, clarify the responsibility before making the next arrangement; I can even shirk responsibility, believing that the elderly's fall has nothing to do with their children, and push the time cost or even the money cost of the complaint to the other party.
But in the long run, such a preliminary reaction will lead to friction with neighbors and affect the reputation in the community. The most important thing is to set a bad demonstration for the children.
And I chose to call the old man's daughter and ask her to go downstairs to the hospital together; I also called the child's father and asked him to take the child home; then, I accompanied the old man and her family to the hospital for examination.
On the way to the hospital, the old man's condition seemed to be getting worse and worse. He could walk by himself when he was hit, and he could only use a wheelchair when he arrived at the hospital. Her family and I took turns pushing the wheelchair, lined up for emergency treatment, took X-rays, took MRI, said all the good things about apologizing, and spent a few thousand yuan in medical expenses plus 10 days of nutrition and care fees, which solved the problem.
When I returned home, I saw the car lying on the door, and couldn't help but sigh: What an expensive play!
For the next half year, I will remind children to avoid abortion when riding a bicycle - enjoy the right to play in public spaces, and the hidden cost of taking responsibility is not small.
This time, the older child got into trouble and wanted to slip away because of instinct: the child has matured to understand the meaning behind the money figures. One time, the trouble consumes the income from the hard work of the parents, and is likely to be severely scolded or even punished by the parents. Escape from punishment means that the child is smart enough to know how to maximize his short-term interests.
Therefore, observing public morality is against instinct and requires efforts to overcome and deliberately cultivate it - I was nervous at the MRI room at that time, and I had a deep understanding.
We lie, shirke, and escape, all because it is difficult to face the mistakes. If lies can cover up mistakes and gain huge benefits; while honesty can only damage interests, why not lie?
#3
Teaching children to take responsibility,
is a difficult lesson for parents
There was a news recently that a mother bought a banana in the fruit shop cut by a 4-year-old child, and was brave enough to assume the responsibility of guardianship, and was praised.
Children are young and parents pay for the mistakes. As an example, it is the beginning of teaching responsibility.
The mother in the news bought a banana, and the cost she paid was still within the scope she could afford; at the beginning of the article, I took on the medical expenses of the elderly, and also measured the cost that could still be afforded and the long-term return was greater.
When the child is still young, it is a good time for parents to teach "risks and responsibilities":
Take a 4-year-old child to shop or play in public places, and there may be uncontrollable destructive behavior, but mothers use actions to explain that we can take responsibility if we make mistakes;
1 What safety matters should be paid attention to when a 10-year-old child rides a bicycle in a public space where there are many elderly people and children, such as controlling the speed of the car and avoiding the crowd. In case of an accident, they should bear responsibility - rather than letting the child go, but not expecting possible risks, making the child afraid of the negative attitude of the parents and fearing making mistakes.
Of course, the solution to the mistake is not only the step of "compensation and guarantee", but reflection and growth are the key points to promote growth.
Among the families in the international education circle, there are many high-net-worth families with strong "bottom-up capabilities", and they have a very direct idea of "solving problems" when taking detours during their children's growth. I once met a parent who came to consult his child's academic problems:
"Teacher, my child's XX subjects are re-examinations. If you fail the exam, you have to repeat the grades. Do you think how many classes you have to take to pass? My child cannot repeat the grades!"
After making an appointment for class, students often do not appear during the scheduled class time, and the homework after class is not completed. I found feedback from parents and asked the parents to urge students to attend classes on time, but the parents said, "Teacher, why don't you help me urge him to attend class, and my child won't talk to us at home."
A few days later, the parents said happily: "The school sent us an email. The re-examination questions have a range of questions. Teacher, please help us to give the correct answers, and I'll let the child memorize them!" The case of
sounds exaggerated, but it is not an isolated case.
Many parents with "money ability" quantify the problems on their children's growth path into practical problems such as "passing the exam", "successfully advancing to school", "applying to a good university", "geting a diploma", "finding a good job", and are not hesitant to use foreign aid or even cheating to pass the level, but ignore the core problem: the child himself does not communicate with his parents, has no self-motivation in learning, and lacks interest in learning, and this problem is like a pink elephant in the room, because it cannot be solved simply, so he simply ignores it.
Maybe when a child is young, he eats the bananas that he has broken up and cleans up the room he has messed up; if he is older, learn the rules about safety, understand the consequences of his behavior, and make the choice of "Is it a good time to go downstairs to ride a bike?" In school, accepting the reality that he has to repeat the grade after failing the exam may not be able to "know your shame and be brave."
Children live in the expectations of their parents, but the love of parents is warm and tolerant, guiding their children to grow up in their mistakes: at that time, we were all toddlers, and a pair of big hands helped us stumble countless times, holding us forward until we were firm in our steps, strode forward, and rushing towards our lives.
