A mother said that because of some unreasonable measures taken by the teacher, many students, including her daughter, suffered terribly. Her daughter still hates the teacher. I think that the fact that my daughter still hates her teacher is not only due to the teacher’s mistakes, but also to her mother’s guidance.
My comment made this mom a little uncomfortable, and I understand. I am also a mother and a history teacher. My son was also treated unfairly by other teachers, which caused my son to be depressed and unable to even finish junior high school. Of course, I know the pain and resentment of my child, so I completely understand this mother's anger.
The following are some of my opinions. Parents and friends are also invited to participate in the discussion to see what
methods can minimize the harm and allow children to get out of the haze and move forward lightly.
The reason why I wrote this comment is because I think the child is innocent. As parents, we are unable to change other teachers and the general environment. Shouldn't we think of some ways to minimize the harm to the children instead of letting the harm continue? Retain or even expand?
Please be patient and read my lesson.
I didn’t give my son extra lessons from the teacher, which resulted in my son being subjected to a series of cold violence. He became a rebel even before he graduated from elementary school. When he was in junior high school at the school where I taught, a certain teacher often used my son as a negative example and always said, "You are embarrassing your mother."
I began to try my best to protect the teacher's dignity and said without sincerity, "The teacher is also good for you." As a result, the relationship between my son and me deteriorated, and I eventually dropped out of school. Later, I went to the other extreme and made no secret of my dissatisfaction and resentment towards those teachers in front of my son. I once said to my son, "That teacher is so disrespectful. If I were you, I would be very, very angry." The result is that my son is close to me, but he is hostile to all teachers, to the point where he hates all cultural classes. So when I was 15, I chose a less formal technical school without any cultural classes.
Looking back now, my biggest mistake was not eliminating the psychological damage caused by teachers to children in time. Your child is still extremely angry when he mentions that teacher. Do you think the hurt is still there? Wouldn't it be nice to let the children put aside their anger and move forward with the sun shining brightly?
The task of eliminating pain can only be done by mothers.
For the same thing, different perceptions lead to different results
As a teacher, you have also heard of the ABC theory. A is the teacher's wrong behavior, C is the child's emotional reaction, and B is the child's interpretation of event A. If you want to free your child from anger or grievance, either change A or change B. Which do you think is easier to change?
We work hard to give birth to a child and raise him carefully until he grows up. We are willing to sacrifice our lives for our children. How we hope that others will not hurt our children and be good to our children. However, as long as a child goes to school, he will meet all kinds of people, and it is inevitable that the wrong behavior of some teachers and classmates will hurt the child; when he enters the society, he may face unfair treatment from leaders, bosses, and colleagues; when he gets married, he will encounter all kinds of people. , you may encounter conflicts between husband and wife, and you may feel sad because of your significant other. What should
do at this time? Complain? Complaining is the most useless thing! It would be best if children can have an optimistic and open-minded mind, have the ability to deal with various conflicts and crises, and can protect themselves calmly. Do you think so? These qualities must be guided and cultivated when children are young, especially when they encounter various setbacks or even injuries.
The teacher ignores the child and drags him to class, causing physical and mental damage to the child. The mother is distressed and angry. It is necessary to take the child out of the classroom, but it does not only need to do this. How should we guide our children to view this incident afterwards? How to get children out of the shadows as soon as possible?
I have a friend who is a math teacher. When his son was in elementary school, his math test always got a perfect score of 100. Once he got a score of 90 on the math test, the teacher got furious and scolded the child, saying, "Your mother knows how to treat you." I’ve been fat for a long time, but I don’t know how to give you some math supplements. It’s useless for you to be so fat!” He also called my friend to the office and gave me a scolding.
When the child came home, he cried and said, "Mom, I won't go to math class anymore, even to death!" My friend was sad and anxious. After calming down, he comforted the child and told him, "The teacher said it was right." No, what the teacher said was angry. I am your mother. I know my son better than anyone else. You have always been a conscientious and diligent student. A good child who is not afraid of difficulties and has clear goals will still be a good child even if he fails the exam, let alone a score of 98. "
After the child's mood stabilized, my friend spent about a month guiding her son, she told her son. , you are learning for yourself, not for the teacher. Your learning of mathematics has nothing to do with your mathematics teacher. She also told her son, if you hate the math teacher, then hate it, and if you want revenge, then take revenge. She also told her son that revenge is okay, but it cannot cause losses to yourself and others. Smart children like you will not punish yourself for other people's mistakes. She also told her son that the best way to get revenge is that you continue to learn mathematics well and get first place in the exam. When you graduate from elementary school, you say to the mathematics teacher: I learned it well, not you taught it well.
Later, she discovered that her son did not "retaliate", but instead studied mathematics seriously. He continued to guide: "My son is a Transformer, indestructible, and there are a lot of adults. The math teacher's little violence can't hurt you at all, right?" Many of this boy's classmates are afraid of the math teacher, and even see the math teacher. Just wanted to pee. My friend's child was not greatly affected. He didn't like the math teacher, but he wasn't afraid of her and didn't hate her. He treated her calmly.
I was also inspired by a friend to reinterpret the "harm caused by teachers to sons", and the effect was very good.
My son just started working last year and was ostracized by his workplace. He came back and complained to me, saying that he didn't even want to go to work. I said, "I'm afraid it's not that you don't want to go to work, but that you want to have a good relationship and have a comfortable working environment, right?" My son said in surprise, "How do you know?" I said, "With your smart mind, how can you be better?" Unable to resolve the relationship? "Sure enough, after two or three months, my son was doing well in the workplace.
With proper guidance from parents, every child can become a hero
In short, we cannot change anyone, we can only change ourselves. When other people's behavior harms our interests or hurts us, we must not only protect ourselves, but also take the initiative to make some changes to make things develop in a direction that is beneficial to us. Instead of just complaining. The child is still young and does not know how to change. Then, parents must guide the child to make changes in behavior and ideological understanding, so that the harm can become the driving force for growth.
