On the stone bridge with weeping willows like smoke, drizzle on the lake, and few pedestrians, a monk with mango shoes and broken bowl climbed up the steps, carrying a sense of loneliness and desolation...
01
Su Manshu was born in Japan, his father is a tea merchant in Guangdong, and his mother is a Japanese woman. His mother died of illness shortly after he was born, and he had to live with his adoptive mother Kawai Sen. When he was six years old, he returned to Guangdong with his father. Because he was an illegitimate child and a mixed-race child, he was discriminated against in the big family and even almost died. Such an unfortunate childhood created a tangled character throughout his life.
When he was fifteen years old, he finally ran away from his family and went to Japan to study with the support of his cousin. He met a Japanese girl Jingzi in Sakurayama, the hometown of his adoptive mother Kawai Sen. The first time he saw her, he felt his heart fluttering, but the boy's shyness prevented him from confessing. While he was restless, he suddenly received a note from a white pigeon .
He opened the note and read it, and it turned out to be a poem:
When the Qingyang begins to bloom, the sun shines brightly in Yanggu.
The new green reflects the countryside, and the fragrant flowers adorn the trees.
The light dew nourishes the beauty, and the gentle breeze brings fragrance.
Dense leaves are covered with heavy shade, and prosperity surrounds the four houses.
Thousands of reds are all dedicated to me, and I am alone.
I haven’t returned to my former residence for a long time, and the grass in the garden is green for whom.
Looking at things and sighing at the isolation, why is it soothing.
It turned out that the girl also secretly expressed her love for him. Su Manshu was overjoyed when he received the poem and wrote back immediately. From then on, the two of them exchanged letters and became more and more in love.
However, just when they were intoxicated in love, a missed appointment broke their dream.
On that day, they met again to swim in the lake, but instead of waiting for his sweetheart, he waited for a heavy rain, which made his heart feel cold. It turns out that Jingzi’s family objected and refused to let her go out. At the same time, Su Manshu's uncle also found out about the incident. Not only did he whip Su Manshu, he also went to Jingzi's house to investigate.
Jingzi’s parents beat her up in public. Jingzi was so ashamed and angry that she threw herself into the lake that night, while Su Manshu was heartbroken. The once pure and beautiful girl has since become a hazy phantom. This made the already sensitive Su Manshu feel that the world of mortals was cold and cold, so he left the world and became a monk.
A few years later, he traveled to Yingshan Mountain again. He looked at the familiar scenery, but could no longer see the people he once had. He could only lament that things have changed and the world is like a dream:
The solitary lamp leads to a hazy dream, and the wind and rain approach the nunnery in the middle of the night. bell.
When I come back, everyone has gone. Who will be collecting hibiscus across the river?
——"Impressions after Passing Wakamatsu Town"
02
Su Manshu retired from the mortal world, but his heart was not pure. He was disappointed in the world of mortals, but he could not escape the curse of love. Although he was dressed in cassock, he still missed the romance and wandered in the brothels of Jinling City. At this time, a brothel woman named Jin Feng walked into his sight.
He wanted to have an unforgettable love with her, but he hesitated to get too close. His hesitation made Jinfeng lose confidence, and she left quietly, leaving only a poignant memory that made him reflect on his sadness over and over again.
Writing lovesickness on the phoenix paper, the world never knows.
Even if you are sad every day and people are gone, don’t worry, you will still have your own moments of sadness.
- "Jiyi Mountain Sentences about the Golden Phoenix"
He wanted to send his lovesickness, but he didn't know where to send it, so he could only lick the sad heart over and over again.
03
When she was twenty-six years old, Su Manshu went to Japan again to visit her adoptive mother. At a concert, he met Baisuke, a zither tuner. A monk who cannot see through the mortal world, and an artist who has gone through many vicissitudes of life. Different experiences and similar states of mind bring them closer.
Zen mind once let Emei be jealous, the Buddha said that it turns out that hatred is a close relationship.
The rain and smoke are gone, and I have no love or anger with others.
- "The Man Who Sends the Kite"
The flowers and hair will contain smoke, and the East China Sea has been wandering for twenty years.
Repent and meditate on the emptiness and color, PipaSleep on the sutra by the lakeside.
- "Xijing Bu Fengzi Rhyme"
secretly tasted the exposed lips of the goddess, and tested the tears several times in the wind.
html Every day I miss you, it makes me grow old. There is no solitary window at dusk.
——"Mito Viewing Plum Blossoms"
This is a poem written by Su Manshu to Baisuke. It is a love poem, but it is full of ruthlessness. It reminds people of the scene in "Dream of Red Mansions". The vast sky and earth are filled with dancing snow, and Jia Baoyu, the unkempt and barefooted , comes walking in the snow. She seems to be neither happy nor sad, but her heart is full of emotions. Turn a thousand times. Maybe it was the smart and petty Daiyu, or maybe it was the dignified Baochai, but it was all fleeting, and he ended up walking alone, following the lame monk.
Su Manshu is the same, with a fiery heart, but dare not face love directly. When Baishu approaches him, he can't help but escape. He didn't dare to look directly into his heart and could only blame it all on fate.
Wushe Lingbo's skin is like snow, and she holds a red leaf and writes a poem.
I return a bowl of merciless tears to you, I wish I could meet you before I shaved my head.
- "Ten Poems on Skills·Selection Two"
Failure to meet the right woman at the right time is the biggest regret in life. But for Su Manshu, no time is the right time. Because he has been struggling all his life, between birth and lust, he wants to have it, but he dares not to have it. As Mr. Liu Yazi said: "Studying Buddhism and falling in love are the icy coals that have been fighting in Manshu's heart throughout his life."
04
This war of ice and fire made Su Manshu extremely painful, but he had nowhere to vent. When he couldn't bear it anymore, he would burst into tears or sing loudly, and he became a madman in people's eyes.
Qi Kuo Don’t ask about life and death. He is a solitary monk walking in the clouds and flowing water.
Laughing wildly for no reason, crying for no reason, even if there is joy, the intestines are as cold as ice.
——"Impressions from Wakamatsu Town to Brother Naka"
The lack of family affection in his childhood and the untimely war in the troubled times all made him depressed and sinking. He pursues the emptiness of Buddhism, but he cannot escape the prosperity of the world. Everything is a heavy burden on the camel, and finally he can no longer bear the squeeze of a straw. At the age of thirty-five, he completed his solitary journey in the world of mortals and passed away with the words "Nothing is wrong with all sentient beings."
He was finally free, carefree and turned into a wisp of smoke. It's just the misery of the lonely monk walking like clouds and flowing water that makes future generations sigh; and the madness of laughing and crying for no reason makes people sigh.
He is the most miserable person in the world, wearing a cassock and pursuing love all his life.
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