"The Book of Rites" says: "Happiness, anger, sadness, fear, love, hate, and desire are all seven that can be mastered without learning." The greatest sobriety a person can have in this life is: not speaking when he is sad, not promising when he is happy, and not fighting when he

" Book of Rites " says: "Happiness, anger, sadness, fear, love, evil, and desire, the seven can be learned without learning."

The seven emotions of human beings are innate.

The difference is that everyone expresses their emotions in different ways: either hysterically, or calmly and restrained; either complaining about others, or calm and calm...

The world is complicated, and only by managing emotions well can one be the master of life.

The greatest awakening in a person's life is to not speak when he is sad, not to promise when he is happy, and not to argue when he is angry.

1. Not speaking when you are sad is a kind of maturity.

Zeng Guofan once said: "Keep your mouth shut when you live in groups, and keep your heart when you are alone."

Especially when you are sad, you should remain silent and be prepared for the situation.

Qing Dynasty Pu Songling had a lot of bad luck in his life, but he never complained or got discouraged.

He once asked for help because his family was poor, but failed, so he joined the game and taught in the countryside to make a living;

He repeatedly failed in the scientific examinations, but "failed" and did not want to "fish in troubled waters" with his good friend, the Prime Minister;

He was devastated after the death of his wife, but turned his grief into strength, writing novels while reading.

In order to collect materials, Pu Songling set up a stall under a big tree, provided free cigarettes and tea, and listened to passers-by telling bizarre stories.

year after year, day after day.

In the wind and sun, under the shadow of a solitary lamp, he spent 20 years to complete the famous "Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio".

His life is just like the couplet he once wrote: Where there is a will, things come true; if you work hard, God will live up to your expectations.

The Song Dynasty poet Fang Yue said: "Everything is not what you want, but it is the same as what others say."

People living in the world have their own difficulties.

Hide the pain in the bottom of your heart and control the mouth that speaks everywhere, which is the most basic rule of thumb for adults.

I heard a little story.

A little monkey was injured, so he told everyone in the forest.

So, everyone came to visit one after another.

Every time, the little monkey entertained me with delicious food and drinks, and he would definitely show his wounds.

Everyone will look on sympathetically, comfort and discuss.

After a period of time, the little monkey's family ran out of ammunition and food, but it itself died of a sudden infection because of the wounds being exposed again and again.

The experience of the little monkey tells us: when you are in pain, you should seek relief.

Because human beings' joys and sorrows are not the same.

Only when the needle is inserted into yourself can you know whether it hurts or not. The words "empathy" are often just words.

Life is full of seas, and it is better to seek help from others than from yourself.

When you fall, get up and stagger forward; when you fail, laugh and cheer in the mirror; when you are in pain, hide and lick your wounds alone.

The strong will always be strong, and the weak will always be weak.

A truly mature person can always be silent when he is sad or sad, and quietly be the ferryman of his own life.

2. Not making promises when you are happy is a kind of wisdom.

"The Book of Rites" says: "Promising but not keeping will cause more resentment than not promising."

Compared with never making a promise, if you make a verbal promise but fail to fulfill it through action, it will arouse resentment and cause disaster.

In the first year of Tongguang, Emperor Li Cunxu wanted to go deep into the enemy territory to attack Houliang.

A general took the initiative to apply to fight, and with lightning speed, he went straight to Bianzhou and destroyed the rear beam.

When the emperor learned about it, he was overjoyed and said excitedly to the general: "This world belongs to you and me from now on!"

Unexpectedly, the emperor not only forgot his promise, but was also suspicious of the general, and even took credit for the achievements of other soldiers.

The general was angry inside, but he dared not speak out.

But other soldiers were disheartened and resentful, and rebelled one after another, and the emperor actually sent that general to suppress it again!

Unexpectedly, this time, the general was "put on a yellow robe" and became independent.

The end of history is: Emperor Li Cunxu died from an arrow in his body, and the general succeeded to the throne in front of his spiritual throne, namely Mingzong of the Later Tang DynastyLi Siyuan.

Spring and Autumn Period , Qi Xianggong faced two generals and asked about the time when the "border defense period expires", and in the excitement of eating melons, he promised: next year when the melons are ripe.

However, he broke his promise: he asked them to wait another year.

As a result, the two generals rose up in anger and Qi Xianggong was killed.

During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao faced Cao Zhi 's attitude of not being arrogant and being humble and polite. He promised in public: No one else but you will be responsible for the great cause of my general in the future.

However, he broke his promise.

As a result, Cao Zhi not only failed to become the successor, but was made things difficult by his brother who succeeded him, and finally died of depression.

Words of joy often break promises.

When people are hot-headed, they never analyze uncontrollable factors. They often find out after calming down that it is not allowed objectively, or they regret it subjectively.

In short, it just cannot be fulfilled, which leads to all kinds of dissatisfaction, estrangement, and resentment.

Mencius said: "A chariot cannot run without a shaft, and a man cannot stand without faith."

Integrity is the foundation of one's life.

A truly wise person must understand:

Reject decisively if you can't do it; think twice if you can do it, and once you make a promise, you will definitely keep it.

3. Not fighting when you are angry is a pattern.

The ancients said: "Those who are good at fighting do not get angry, and those who are good at winning do not fight."

A person who can really achieve great things will not be stubborn, nor will he lose his mind due to anger;

On the contrary, he can weigh the priorities, advance and retreat appropriately, and deal with it calmly.

During the Warring States Period, Wei Liao was quite talented in military affairs, so he was highly valued by the King of Qin.

But the King of Qin valued him so much, but Wei Liao slandered him behind his back: "The King of Qin has a bad appearance and lacks benevolence."

Therefore, he planned to flee, but the news was leaked.

King Qin was furious and wanted to kill him quickly, but he reflected and calmed down:

What I want is not personal face, but Wei Liao's talent; what I want to fight for is not a moment of anger, but the unification of the six countries.

So King Qin summoned Wei Liao again and made it clear: Let bygones be bygones, whatever happened before will remain the same in the future!

This move moved Wei Liao.

From then on, he devoted himself to assisting the King of Qin to complete the great cause of unification, and also left behind a military work "Wei Liaozi " that was respected by later generations of military strategists.

The ancients said: "The greatest disasters all arise from a moment of unbearability, so we must be careful."

If you spend money in life, disasters will wait for opportunities.

Many times, the so-called "struggle" is also the "accommodation" between thoughts.

Cao Cao of the Three Kingdoms tolerated the soldiers who had secretly communicated with Yuan Shao. What he got was: the gratitude and loyalty of the soldiers;

picture of the Qing Dynasty Zhidong tolerated the painters who vilified him, and what he got: the surrender of the painter, and the praise of the common people;

Lu Mengzheng of the Song Dynasty, tolerated the sarcastic comments of the courtiers, and what he got: the recognition of his colleagues, and the emperor's generous reputation.

Laozi said: "Water is good for all things without fighting."

People should learn the character of water and use "non-fighting" to ferry others and themselves.

When facing family, there is no need to argue:

Because right or wrong is not important, so don’t "win with reason and lose with feelings";

When facing friends, there is no need to argue:

Because the results are important, each other's goal is win-win cooperation, harmony and wealth;

When facing strangers, there is no need to fight:

Because the mood is the most important, there is really no need to waste a lot of time on unrelated people and things.

In this life, no matter what or when we fight, we will consume ourselves.

Not fighting is neither confused nor cowardly, but enlarging one's own pattern and achieving one's own life.

" Shangshu " says: "There must be tolerance, and it will help; tolerance, and virtue will be great."

If you have patience, you will be able to achieve something; if you are tolerant, you will be able to achieve virtue.

In this life, it is instinct to have emotions, and managing emotions is a skill.

When you are in great sorrow, do not speak, this is the maturity of life;

When you are very happy, do not promise, this is the wisdom of doing things;

When you are angry, do not argue, this is the pattern of life.

In this case, if you act soberly and be transparent, you can live a life filled with spring and the fragrance of birds and flowers, no matter good or bad times!