Some parents left a message under my previous sleep article, asking how to let their children develop a good and punctual schedule of work and rest. It happened that I haven't written a sleep-related article for a long time, so today this article should be used as a consultation. Friends around
often wonder, why the older the child, the more difficult it is to sleep on time? Especially after the child is 2.5 years old, going to bed every night will always become a tug of war. The child will stay up until 22:00 and 23:00 before going to bed. Until then, he will play and refuse to go to bed.
If the child goes to bed at around 22:00 or 23:00 basically every day, although they go to bed a little late, they are late but regularly, but some children sleep late and are late. Today is 21:00, tomorrow is 22:00, the day after tomorrow is 23:00, and the day after tomorrow is 22:30, the time to wake up is also uncertain, which completely leaves parents confused.
Irregular work and rest of the child will affect the normal operation of the child's biological clock on the one hand, and on the other hand will cause a lot of trouble to the family's activities.
I think most parents understand the disadvantages of irregular work and rest, but what they don’t understand is why the older the child, the regular work and rest is not easy to control?
Why is the bigger the child, the less controlled the routine of work and rest
What we are talking about here is the child before school, because the phenomenon of late-sleeping due to schoolwork problems after school is too frequent, because Mo Tsai has not yet reached school age, so even I am an infant sleep consultant myself, but I have no practical experience in the end. Therefore, the child I refer to in this article refers to the infant stage, especially after the age of 2.
1. As the child gets older, his energy becomes more vigorous and he can bear sleepiness.
Suppose a 6-month-old baby is compared with a 2-year-old baby. When it comes to sleepiness, the 6-month baby will be so sleepy that it starts to cry. Noisy, it explodes in place, but 2-year-old babies are rarely sleepy enough to cry, most of them are more excited, laughing and making noise and running around the house.
This is because a 2-year-old baby is much more mature than a 6-month-old baby in terms of brain development, neurodevelopment, and body hormone levels. Younger-month-old babies cannot bear sleepiness, but older children are obviously Can "carry hard".
So you see, a 3-year-old baby probably won't take a nap, but a 1-year-old baby can't not sleep.
When the child is more and more able to bear sleepiness, it means that his sleep signal is easily covered up, because he will no longer cry to sleep, so you will see him playing energetically until You are still very excited when you are going to sleep, but if you know a little about sleep, you will know that extreme arousal is just a sign of extreme fatigue.
But if you don’t know this physiology, you will only follow your child to see when he is no longer excited before arranging him to go to bed. If this continues, it is naturally difficult for the child’s routine to be punctual.
2. There are too many objective interference factors that affect the work and rest time.
If the child goes to bed at night is always not fixed, it is mostly because there are too many interference factors around, for example:
parents who come back from get off work, the time to return home happens to be 7 p.m. After o’clock, this time is exactly the time when the child starts to get sleepy, but because my dear mom and dad are back, the child always has to be intimate with them for a while, and I feel very excited. At this time, the home is probably the most lively time of the day.
- The number of people at home has increased.
During the day there may be only 3 people, the elderly and children, and at night, it may be 5 people, parents, grandparents, grandparents, and children. If it is a second child, it will be 6 people. Everyone will make various sounds, eat, talk, Washing dishes and pots, clanging bells and ping-pong-pong, is particularly lively, and the environment before going to bed at night needs to be quiet and dim. Obviously, ordinary families cannot do it.
Mo Tsai is now 3 years old and falls asleep between 8:00-8:30 every night. I can maintain this standard because I brought the child myself. Before he went to bed, there were only two of us in the house and no other people interfered.
- The start of bedtime activities has been postponed
Because most children still sleep with their mothers at night, if the mother comes home from get off work at around 19:00, it may be more than 20 o’clock after eating and washing, we say that the child has at least one hour before going to bed before going to bed To settle, it is estimated that the bedtime may be postponed to 21 o'clock, and it may be 22 o'clock if I fall asleep completely.
3. Affected by the time of daytime nap
When the child is about 3 years old, the daytime nap may not be every day, and some children are not even willing to take a nap, but if they take a nap, the amount of activity in the afternoon is insufficient. , The time to fall asleep at night will be delayed.
So the child's work and rest will be divided into two types, if you take a nap, the night is one time to fall asleep, if you don't take a nap, the night is another time to fall asleep.
Therefore, regular naps during the day are also very important for the night's work and rest.
4. Do parents pay enough attention to
. In fact, many children cannot develop a regular schedule. Fundamentally speaking, the parents are not paying enough attention and the execution ability is not strong. The most significant feature is that there is no fixed bedtime before the child goes to bed. Process.
And as long as the parents who can adhere to the bedtime process well, the child's schedule will not be confused, and even if it is disrupted by special events such as travel, they can quickly adjust back.
How to develop a regular work and rest habit for children
Regular work and rest habit mainly means that the time for children to get up, take a nap, and fall asleep at night is basically the same. To develop a regular work and rest habit, it must be day after day The result of long-term persistence, rather than two or three days can be established.
1. First of all, we have to understand some factors that affect children’s work and rest schedule, especially the time to fall asleep at night.
- The amount of exercise during the day
The amount of exercise is the most critical factor that affects nap during the day and fall asleep at night. A very simple truth is that sleep is charging and exercising It is power consumption, and the next charge can only be carried out if it is consumed.
As the child’s age increases, the electrical capacity becomes larger, and the consumption naturally needs to increase. However, many parents have not kept up with this change. They always let their children stay at home and always let their children sit in the stroller when going out for a walk. Here, such activity consumption is definitely not enough.
For example, if a child of two or three years old does not go out after getting up in the morning, then the next meal and nap are likely to be affected.
So, how to control this amount of exercise, you can refer to the WHO "Guidelines on Physical Activity, Sedentary Behavior and Sleep for Children under 5 Years"
0-11 months: at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day
12-35 months: every day At least 3 hours of physical activity of various intensities
36-59 months: At least 3 hours of moderate-intensity physical activity a day, of which at least 60 minutes are medium-to-high-intensity exercise
, is it a lot of children’s activities? The quantity is not up to standard?
- Daytime naps
Most people think that children’s naps during the day are affected by the night, and they feel that they do not sleep well at night, so they should make up for it during the day. In fact, for children, daytime naps are not entirely compensation for night sleep. It is a key factor that determines what time to fall asleep at night and whether you sleep well. When
solves the sleep problem of infants and young children at night, most of them start with improving the daytime nap.
Therefore, if you want your child to sleep well at night, you must plan your nap during the day, starting with a fixed wake-up time.
- The execution of the bedtime process
No matter which month-age baby is, a complete night-falling process is needed. Some parents don’t understand why this is necessary. They go to bed when they are sleepy. In fact, you will find It is not easy to get children to go to bed obediently.
's fixed bedtime process, the purpose is to establish a series of pre-bedtime conditioned reflexes for children, through activities such as reading, listening to music, bathing, etc. to distinguish the difference between day and night, so that children can understand what to doWhen you are in love, it is time to go to bed and you can no longer play unscrupulously.
Children who have been in the process of going to bed for a long time will not be so resistant to going to bed. The degree of cooperation is very high, and the parents are very worry-free. This is more useful than you shouting "Hurry up and give me sleep, hurry up! Go to bed!" too much. The execution of the
bedtime process requires the absolute patience of parents. It is not to be lazy to insist on doing this every day.
- Unified standards for the whole family
No matter who is at home to accompany the child to sleep, it must be replaced without changing the process. In fact, it is not easy to do this. The people who are often responsible for sleeping well understand the state of the child and have strong implementation. If you change the sleeper, such as a dad who doesn’t sleep often, you may not even be able to distinguish the signal that the child is really tired or excited, and the implementation process will be greatly reduced.
uses my family as an example. If the father is responsible for coaxing sleep, he will not be punctual. The child will laugh with him endlessly, jumping and laughing, and can't read the book quietly.
Therefore, if you want to change the sleeper, it is recommended that the mother write down the child's bedtime process and paste it on the wall so that the father can see it.
2. Develop a full-day schedule that suits your child.
After understanding these closely related factors, parents can make adjustments in accordance with the actual situation of their home and their children's original schedule.
The first step: fix the child's wake-up time
time range can be between 7:00-8: 00 (of course, 7:00 is the most ideal, except for Xinjiang children)
children who sleep late, their sleep stage is the whole Move backward, so if you want your child to go to bed early, you must move the sleep stage forward as a whole. Let your child get up early and don't sleep until ninety o'clock.
After getting up early, morning activities, naps, afternoon activities, and night falling asleep time will be advanced accordingly.
Step 2: Grab the morning activity time and let the child move.
After breakfast, take the child to the activity. As long as the weather is good, let the child exercise according to the monthly exercise range mentioned above. Children try not to sit in the stroller. Although sitting in the stroller makes it easy for adults to run after the child, it deprives the child of exercise time.
Children aged 2 and 3 can ride bicycles, run and jump, and play football. They have to get up and do not stand there quietly or take a long walk.
Step 3: Fix lunch and nap time
Next is the fixed lunch and nap time. The lunch time should not be too late, preferably not more than 12:30. If you eat too late, your child will miss a nap. If you eat and eat If you fall asleep, it must be too late for dinner.
Sometimes you may find that if you arrange your child to take a nap at 13:00, it is easy to fall asleep, but if the child takes a nap at 13:30, it is not easy for the child to fall asleep. This is because sleepiness is intended to be carried by the child during that half hour. Passed.
Therefore, parents need to observe carefully, at which time period the child will start to show signs of drowsiness. By observing a few more times, you can grasp when the child is scheduled to eat and take a nap.
Some children don't take naps after they reach the age of 3. What should I do? You can arrange for your child to do quiet activities for about 1 hour during the original nap time, such as lying in bed and listening to a story, as long as he calms down. This is also a kind of rest.
The nap duration should be controlled within a reasonable range. Don’t let the child sleep for too long, otherwise it will postpone the time to fall asleep at night. Children over 2 years old should not take a nap longer than 2 hours (if your baby’s nap is longer than 2 hours, but no It affects the time to fall asleep at night, so there is no need to shorten it).
Step 4: Seize the afternoon activity time and let the child fully discharge
After the nap is charged, take the child to the activity, as in the morning, carry out moderate to high-intensity physical activities. Regarding the intensity of this activity, my personal approach is to take Mo Tsai to a physical fitness class. After an hour of exercise, he sweats profusely. It is definitely a medium to high intensity.
Step 5: Planning a reasonable nighttime bedtime process
This link needs to refer toThe actual situation at home, for working mothers, it is difficult to ensure that their children fall asleep at around 8 o'clock in the evening, so it is recommended that mothers draw up a timeline based on their own situation. It is better to operate when the child goes to bed, and then move forward 1 hour. Reverse the process. Before you go home, other people will carry out the tasks, and the rest will be carried out by your mother after you get home.
Universal bedtime process: turn on music before going to bed-wash-go to bed-read picture books-turn off the lights-listen to music / story app (such as Himalaya)-fall asleep
Step 6: Eliminate difficulties and execute the process
to fall asleep on time is easier said than done, especially for children who have not had a bedtime process in the first two or three years, it is even more difficult to improve, because he is too used to playing crazy before going to bed To the limit, I'm not used to reading and listening to music in bed early.
Therefore, no matter how perfect the process is formulated, everything will be useless if it is not executed. The difficulty of execution is nothing more than these situations. Let's break each one.
- Children don’t cooperate and don’t like to read picture books
. Playing music and washing are not difficult. But when they go to bed and read, many children run under the bed. What should I do?
First of all, let the children fall in love with reading, increase the reading time during the day, choose the type of picture book that the child likes, read to the child in bed, and cultivate his reading habits. In addition, parents should improve their level of picture book teaching. Skillful work, when children fall in love with reading in bed, the link of going to bed in the bedtime process can be broken.
Secondly, use a bed fence to surround the child on the bed and lock the bedroom door to cut off the path for him to go to the living room to continue playing. Even if he doesn’t sleep, he can only stay on the bed to play. You can’t go down, let alone other family members. Interact with the child, leaving only the mother and the child in the bedroom.
- The child is crying and wants to go to the living room
Adhere to the principle of non-concession, the mother can use games or toys to comfort the child, calmly tell him "I know you want to go out to play, but it is bedtime, we need to stay in bed."
For children aged 2, 3 and above, crying is completely acceptable, and if the parents adhere to the principles and properly comfort, the children will quickly adapt to the rules.
- Children are not allowed to turn off the lights
In order to delay bedtime, the child may not allow parents to turn off the lights, but if the lights are not turned off, the biological clock will not be able to operate on time. At this time, you can tell the children that we can listen to the story after turning off the lights. Immediately after opening the app for listening to the story and insisting on it a few times, the child is used to turning off the lights.
Step 7: Make a picture flow chart to praise and remind the child
Make a bedtime flow chart that the child needs to follow, and paste the picture of the child to complete each step, and then blow up all kinds of rainbow farts, in turn Come to encourage the children.
Gradually, children will like this process. How long will
be effective? I want to say that it is definitely not done overnight, at least stick to it for a month, and then stick to it, let the bedtime process become a good parent-child time, rather than brush tasks.
Finally, remember not to reprimand your children for failing to complete the process. Doing so will only make the children hate this set of processes, and it will be more difficult to execute them again.
I am an infant sleep consultant Mo Zi’s mother parenting, focusing on sharing infant sleep, sports development, breastfeeding knowledge, thank you for your attention, likes, comments and forwarding
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