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文/司长河
We are always emphasizing that sexual life should be harmonious, but in many cases, it is neither a physical problem nor a psychological problem that hinders harmony. It is often because one or both parties have a certain sexual concept. Some misunderstandings. The following focuses on 6 typical misunderstandings, remember to detour next time.
Misunderstanding 1:
Baby oil can be used as lubricant
Gender story: I and Yu Hua are online dating stories Knowing the union, when I was newly married, because I had no premarital sex experience, I was very nervous, and my body could not respond to his enthusiasm. Especially after he entered, the pain caused by "dryness" caused me Unbearable, yelled to stop. As a result, he didn't have his "sexuality", so he retired. The next day, he suddenly took out a bottle of baby oil, and said that this can play a lubricating effect, we can try. He might feel good that time, but I still felt very uncomfortable, but seeing him look very smug, I had to "sacrifice".
Comment: In terms of ingredients, baby oil does not harm the human body. But using it as a lubricant is wrong. First, its oil will make the condom easily damaged and ruptured, increasing the pregnancy rate. Second, its oily ingredients cannot dissolve in the skin, which can cause discomfort to women. Third, those oils will still stick to the vaginal wall, which has an adverse effect on the natural secretion and self-cleaning of the vagina. Therefore, petroleum jelly-based lubricants, similar to baby oil, are best for individual use. In fact, if you need to use lubricants, you can choose water-based lubricants. It is generally available in pharmacies and sexual health stores. Please pay attention to it when buying. Only the official product batch number can be used safely.
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Misunderstanding 2:
Women are not tired from having sex
Gender story: Hu Tao’s lover is in the market and is busy every day Yes, Hu Tao is a civil servant. He is relatively leisurely. It is usually his job to go home from work to cook. However, he has no complaints about this. He thinks that as for housework, whoever has time should do more. It's just that he feels uncomfortable at night, because his lover always says that having sex is too tired. He thought: "I can understand the stress of working for a day, but when I have sex, I am moving and I am struggling. Why is she still screaming tired? She must not want to do it with me. Is she running outside every day? Other people?” As a result, the two often quarreled because of this, which seriously hurt each other's feelings and trust.
Comment: This may be the question of most men. I think that when making love, men consume a lot of physical strength and women do not have much activity, so they can get tired. In fact, although women are passive in most cases, in fact some women are even more tired than men during sex. If she does not feel tired, it means that she has not reached the point of excitement. Because women have great changes in their psychology and physiology during sexual excitement and orgasm, which are manifested as faster breathing, faster heartbeat, and increased tension of pelvic muscles and body muscles. This series of reactions can actually consume a lot of calories, so Some women say that having sex is more tiring than running 100 meters.
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Misunderstanding 3: Wearing a double-layer condom is more secure Gender story: My husband and I have been married for 2 years because we are busy with each other's business , I have not planned to have children, so contraception is very important. Due to my sensitive physique, ordinary contraceptives and cervical caps are not acceptable. So we always use condoms. But because of the uneven quality of the current products, we are worried about the lack of insurance, so we often use one more to increase the insurance factor, but who knows it still made me pregnant. Comment: Wearing a double-layer condom is not necessarily foolproof. Because the rubber rubs against each other, it may also cause rupture, which instead allows the sperm to take advantage of the chance to conceive the woman. 0a0a0a#0a40da
Misunderstanding 4:
The longer the sex, the better
Gender story: My husband and I are college classmates, and our relationship has always been very good. , I would not refuse my husband’s request. But sometimes he fights a protracted battle, and I can't stand it. Originally, his caressing started to make me a little warm, but he did not take the next step, and my body slowly cooled down. I was too embarrassed to tell him to let him hurry up. I feel bad.
Comment: Women’s sexual behavior is time-limited. In the right time limit, male stimulation will increase her excitement. After this time, even the hottest stimulation will not increase her excitement. There is evidence that a woman’s sex life can generally be completed within 10-15 minutes (including the early caressing stage), not as some men think, the longer she is, the more satisfied she will be. In addition, after a long period of sex, both parties felt very tired and the burden on the body increased.
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Misunderstanding 5:
It is an orgasm with a strong feeling
Gender story: Meihui has always felt that she has not reached an orgasm. Although every time she and her husband have a very happy sex life, it feels very comfortable. But there is no such beauty as the fairyland described in some literary works. Once chatting with a close friend in her boudoir, she also said that the feeling of orgasm was great, and the pleasure washed the sense nerves like a storm. Meihui is even more confused. The sex life with her husband has always been harmonious. Why doesn't she have such a strong orgasm feeling?
Comment: Female orgasm is generally a feeling of strong physical and mental pleasure, often manifested as shortness of breath, trembling limbs, etc., and some people feel the contraction of the pelvic floor muscles and a transient state of consciousness. . But everyone’s bodyThere are individual differences, and the ability to respond to sex is also different. Even the same person has different reactions at different times and places. Therefore, the only pleasure and comfort that some women feel is also a manifestation of personal orgasm.
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Misunderstanding 6:
Having sex is the best encouragement when frustrated
Gender story: My husband did not get promoted smoothly this time, I I think he must be uncomfortable. I make soup for him every day, chat with him, and want to use tenderness and consideration to make him forget about his work. At night, I also took the initiative to encourage him through a perfect sex life. However, I was not even satisfied with the results each time.
Comment: Sexual life does sometimes regulate and strengthen the mental state of men, but the premise is that men are mentally relaxed at this time, and there is no expectation of using sex to relieve depression. Otherwise it can only be counterproductive. Because the male sexual response is controlled by the central nervous system of the brain. When they are hit and upset, their normal sexual response must be affected. Therefore, the sex life in this situation is often not satisfactory, and it may even bring adverse reactions and increase the psychological burden. At this time, you should relax first and sex afterwards.
In life, there are always people who think that sex is the natural nature of human beings and do not need to learn. In fact, those seemingly insignificant little details may become "blockers" to people's harmonious life, and the learning and accumulation of sexual experience is a bridge to perfect sex.
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