When I was young, I really hated studying. But I remember how my mother kept encouraging me at that time: "You hate studying now, but one day you will like studying!" Once, when I was depressed because of poor test scores, my mother encouraged me and said: "Although your grades are not good now, mom believes that you will become a promising person in the future. Mom firmly believes in this."
At that time, I thought to myself: Mom is talking nonsense again. My grades are so bad, how can I be successful in the future? So he gradually put his mother's words behind him and continued to indulge in mischief.
However, my mother’s “prophecy” came true: I successfully entered high school and then college, and step by step I got to where I am today.
“You will learn well one day!” My mother’s encouragement gave me the courage to face difficulties invisibly: “You might succeed if you try it.” When I encounter difficulties in the exam and I am about to give up, I will think of these words of my mother. Therefore, even if we encounter difficulties, we should have a "try it" mentality and persevere to the end.
Years later, when I came into contact with psychology, I realized that my mother’s encouragement had a hint to build my self-confidence. At this point, modern families seem to be doing less than satisfactory. "I'm doing this for the child's own good!" With such a mentality, scolding the child at every turn always gives the child a negative hint, which will only make the child slowly lose self-confidence and the courage to overcome difficulties.
For example, a child returns home with a test paper with unsatisfactory results and is scolded by his mother. "You can't even solve such a simple question..." The mother said this, of course, to urge the child to study harder, but in fact, it gave the child a negative psychological hint.
Children are children. They have long realized that their grades are not good, and they are already afraid; coupled with the mother's scolding: "You can't do it!" Even the most optimistic child will fall into the "I can't do it" thinking mode, and unknowingly, it will be just as the mother "expects", it really can't do it. This has been confirmed by various experiments in psychology.
On the contrary, if at this time the mother does not just scold, but mainly encourages, affirming the child's strengths: "Just do it, you can do it" What will be the result? At first, the child may be dubious, but gradually he will also have the idea of "Maybe I can really do it well." Under this positive psychological suggestion, children will gradually build up their self-confidence and their grades will naturally improve. A "virtuous cycle" begins.
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