Later, Xiaoying went to kindergarten, and Sister Wen and her husband started a company. Perhaps because of too much pressure, they often scolded their daughter for being "naughty". My friend happens to be downstairs at Sister Wen's house. It is said that I often hear my father or mother scolding Sakura at home, or beating her up. The crying of the baby at home is a common occurrence.
Later, Sakura and my sister happened to be in an elementary school, and we would meet occasionally. The original lively "little chatterbox" was completely missing, replaced by a somewhat quiet and dull child.
I don’t know what Sakura will be like in the future, but no matter what the reason is, if parents get angry at their children indiscriminately, Sakura’s growth will be worrying.
When parents get angry, children lose their spirituality.
Whenever I see parents losing their temper at their children on various occasions, I think of a sentence I once heard: Don't get angry at your children casually, or you will lose your spirituality.
Spiritual children are smart, cheerful, eloquent, and positive. I think everyone likes spiritual children very much. However, as parents, we often overlook that getting angry at our babies often causes them to lose their spirituality. Some people may think this is an exaggeration, but I hope that the following three points can change some of parents’ minds.
1. Getting angry affects children's brain development. American psychologist Sue Gerhardt once said in the program that yelling often puts pressure on children and is very detrimental to their brain development.
When a child is exposed to verbal violence from his or her parents for a long time, the gray matter in the prefrontal cortex area and amygdala of the brain will become smaller, causing the child's brain response to slow down, and language ability and motor skills to become relatively slow.
One of the characteristics of spiritual children is that they are eloquent. If you have children around you who are often yelled at, you can observe them. They are quiet and don't like to talk. This phenomenon is not introversion, but because language represents the development of the central nervous system, which is often caused by parents or affects the baby's brain development.
Therefore, from the perspective of brain science , it is not recommended that parents lose their temper with their children, as this will really affect their brain development.
2. Getting angry affects children’s mental health
My friend Da Li, every time her daughter does not do well in the exam, she will get anxious and angry with her child. As a result, the girl was diagnosed with severe depression when she was in her second year of high school. She was unable to continue going to school and had to suspend school.
There was a study in the "Journal of Child Development" that showed that when parents yell at their children, they will develop anxiety, stress, depression and other conditions.
3. Anger affects children's interpersonal communication. A child who is often blamed by adults is full of doubts, frustration, and disrespect. When these factors are piled up, children are prone to doubt themselves: Why do my parents always get angry at me? It must be . I’m not good enough for !
Professor Susan Ward, a well-known psychiatrist, said: children will always believe what their parents say about themselves , and change them into their own ideas. Over a long period of time, you will develop a low self-esteem and a please-pleaser personality, and you will not dare to trust others easily. This will create obstacles in your future interactions with others, and it will also be difficult to achieve happiness.
These are the effects of parents often getting angry on their children. Never underestimate your impact on your baby's life.There is a common phenomenon when people lose their temper, that is, the more angry they are, the easier it is to go over old scores, and the more they go over old scores, the easier it is to get angry. After young children receive these negative energies, their spirituality becomes less and less.
Getting angry with children ≠ Proper discipline
Mr. Huang next door often "disciplines" a pair of children. Whenever he feels that there is something wrong with the children, he starts to punish them severely. Even Mrs. Huang can't get involved in this matter. If Mrs. Huang said: "Talk to your child properly" . He would reply: "Don't interrupt when I am disciplining my children!"
once talked about the topic of parenting, and he said to me: "I once saw a sentence in "The Courage to Discipline" that said educate children , must be strictly controlled when they are young. ml3, give him wings when he grows up. "
Mr. Huang's words made me laugh and cry. Disciplining children requires methods, and he did learn the words "teach hard" , but this method will destroy the child's spirituality. The wings have been broken, how can we let the children fly in the future?
We often say that children are a blank piece of paper. Whatever adults draw, the child will grow up. The so-called painting here refers to education . There are all kinds of children in the world, some are well-behaved and some are troublesome. The reason behind this is simply the different education methods of their parents.
The first step: respect
A very critical step in parenting is that is equal to , and respects ! Whenever parents get angry, no matter what the purpose is, they use the identity of high children first level to teach them a lesson. When children do not feel respected, they will feel that their dignity has been violated, and as a result, they may become more and more autistic or rebellious.
" Positive Discipline " mentioned: When we pay attention to maintaining the child's dignity, respect the child and have a firm attitude, the child will understand that his behavior cannot bring about the desired effect.
Step 2: Accept
Sometimes I wonder, why do I want to be angry when my child makes a mistake? After slowly calming down, I concluded a result, that is, does not accept , and makes mistakes in .
When we expect too much from our children and the results do not achieve the results we want, we will think that the children are wrong and can't help but get angry at them.
But before getting angry, parents should also think about it. They are just children . If they want to have , they should guide correctly. presupposes that should not be . Isn't it okay to accept all the good and bad things about children? In fact, guidance can be more effective only with unconditional acceptance.
Step Three: Freedom
My friend Da Liu has the most mature parenting experience among the people I know. He will give children the freedom to make mistakes, and then guide them to slowly sum up their experiences.
This trick works very well. His three children are healthy and cheerful, and they are all now in key middle schools. When others learn from Lao Liu, he smiles and says: Give your children more freedom.
With freedom, children will have more room to play, judge and think. There is a saying called " experience is the best teacher of ". Sometimes children build their own experience, which is far more profound and valuable than what others teach them.
I also know that it is impossible to become a good parent in one step. What is valuable is the willingness to change yourself, give better care to your children, and help them grow up happily. So, don’t always get angry at your children for nothing. Children who lack spirituality will lose more possibilities. Brain science has also confirmed it!
Random Thoughts:
Children will encounter various problems when they grow up. As parents, they are the guides in the initial stages of their lives. Don’t hinder your baby’s growth because you cannot control your emotions well!
(The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact us to delete it)
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