German philosopher Jaspers said: Education is like one tree shaking another tree, one cloud pushing another cloud, and one soul awakening another soul. Children come to us like a blank piece of paper with almost zero knowledge.

German philosopher Jaspers said : Education is like one tree shaking another tree, one cloud pushing another cloud, one soul awakening another soul .

"Child, take your time" Author: Long Yingtai

Interpretation: Qingqiu Qiandong Feifei

"Hurry up, you're going to be late!"

"Why are you so stupid? It takes you half a day to tie your shoelaces!"

"Do you have any sense of time? When will this homework be completed?"

"..."

Have mothers ever had this kind of anxious and angry moment?

When children come to us, they are like a blank piece of paper, with almost zero knowledge. For them, everything is new and unknown, and they need to learn slowly.

In the process of learning, children appear clumsy and slow because they are not proficient enough; they drag on because they lack the concept of time.

Often at this time, mothers lose patience with their children, become anxious and irritable, and can't help but urge, blame, and complain about their children.

In the book "Take Your Time, My Child", there is such a heartwarming scene:

The author Long Yingtai is buying flowers on a small street in Tamsui. The grandmother handed the flowers to the five-year-old boy. The little boy wanted to use a straw rope to tie a bow on the bouquet. His immature little fingers were twirling around the straw rope slowly, but he couldn't tie it well. The little boy's grandmother urged loudly. But Long Yingtai said soothingly: "Let Yi take his time."

The five simple words "Let Yi take his time" were like gentle breeze and drizzle, soothing the child's anxiety and uneasiness. With the encouragement of these words, the child learned new "skills" and completed a pleasant experience.

So what kind of mother is Long Yingtai, the author of "My Child, Take Your Time"? Let us enter this book and slowly experience it together! The author of

, Long Yingtai, is a modern writer. She is known as the most influential pen in the Chinese literary world and the most watched woman in the Chinese literary world. His works "Watching Off", "Dear Andre " and "Child, Take Your Time" are collectively called "Three Books of Life".

"Child, Take Your Time" is a life prose written by the author Long Yingtai based on the personal experience of a mother.

It presents the most sincere maternal love deep in the author's heart. It is not a praise of traditional maternal love, but a realistic sketch of life. It is neither deliberately sensationalistic nor pretentious. The exquisiteness and tenderness throughout the book have moved and inspired countless readers.

Next, we will interpret this book from the following three key points.

. Accompany them affectionately and cultivate them patiently

In our lives, almost every child is born to learn.

When I was three years old, I went to kindergarten and started learning to write, learn English, learn piano, learn dance, and learn painting...

When I was a little older, I went to elementary school, and I started to attend various cram schools and special interest classes...

Moms They always feel that their children have endless things to learn, and whether they want it or not, they have to follow their mother's wishes; they are always anxious, urging their children to grow up quickly, and are always afraid that their children will lose at the starting line; they are also eager for success, urging their children: "Hurry up, faster!" But forget that "haste makes waste".

What goes against expectations is that the children become more and more disobedient, rebellious, and antagonizing their mothers. My mother also became more and more anxious, discouraged, disappointed, sad and sad. She always felt that her good intentions were being misconstrued.

In the book "Child, Take Your Time", the author uses delicate words to describe every subtle change and beauty in the child, and accompanies the child to grow slowly with love and patience.

"He crawled, he laughed, he shook his head, he stood up and fell down again, and he blinked his round, bright eyes. I always watched his every move."

In the weeds in front of the cabin, teach the children to pronounce: "Bo"; on the small bridge, watch the flowing water, teach the children to say "Little bridge, flowing water, people..."; take the bus, teach the children to say: "bus".

At home, An An lined up the toy cars and told her mother that they were dragons. Her mother happily replied: "Yes, baby, dragon, there is a lot of traffic." She ignored the clutter in the house; her mother hummed a children's song while cooking. An An heard it and sang happily with her mother...

And in that alley, her mother led An An and walked slowly all the way. An An kept asking her mother various questions, and her mother patiently answered them one by one.

It seems that everything that is visible, audible, perceptible and touchable in life is a living teaching material for young An An.

However, mothers do not agree with teaching children to read and write homework in preschool education and to teach children step by step. She didn't think a two- or three-year-old could handle it.

My mother believes that preschool education should be family-style like that in Germany. Those who want to play with building blocks play with building blocks, those who want to chat chat, those who like to listen to stories listen to stories, and those who love to do crafts...

Children can freely choose and play according to their own interests and hobbies.

In short, it should not be about "sitting in rows and dividing the results." It should not be about sitting quietly for 45 minutes and listening to the teacher's "knowledge" that you don't understand.

Even when An An went to school, her mother did not force An An to do her homework. An An's homework almost always only had "a mouse". "Drawing mice" is a way of recording grades in An'an school, and the best grade is "three mice."

Although her mother had been anxious, she still chose to respect An An, accepted An An's view that "three mice are good, and one is good too", and allowed her children to put down their homework and play basketball with their friends.

Mother pays more attention to subtle education. Parent-child reading is something that my mother has always insisted on doing. Reading every night is also An An’s happiest time.

Under the soft light, mother hugged An An and told An An carefully about "Journey to the West" and "Water Margin", and read "Snow White" and "Grandma Wolf".

uses a lot of reading to guide children and help them understand, which is far more profound than constant preaching.

During An An's growth, An An could grow up freely and step by step.

Mother never rushes or worries, she just patiently accompanies and appreciates her children, and subtly guides her children to grow up healthily.

2. "Love" can be transmitted

educator Rousseau said: treat children as children and adults as adults!

But many parents, because they have a second child, ask the eldest child to do this and that, as if the child has grown up overnight, and they use adult standards to demand their children.

"You are the elder brother. You should be sensible and help your mother take care of your younger brother, you know?"

"You are the eldest, so you have to take care of the second child!"

"You are the elder sister, don't fight for toys with your younger sister!"

"..."

Parents blindly demand that the eldest son should behave like an elder, but they never thought that the eldest child is just a child of a few years old, who also needs care and likes toys.

Because of his parents' preference, the eldest son became sensitive and anxious, and became increasingly disobedient. From time to time, the parents would be given some "surprises", either by torturing the second child until he cried, or by beating the second child, or even doing something more drastic: injuring the second child to death.

saw an information report some time ago: On June 20, 2015, the eldest daughter of a family in Wuhan took advantage of the adults and threw her two-month-old brother downstairs. When he was found, he had already lost his life.

In an episode of " we grew up ", S also mentioned: "My daughter will take the initiative to attack her younger brother, and often deliberately wave things near his head to see if there is a chance to hit him..."

Is the child born evil? No, it's just that the parents ignored the emotional needs of the eldest child, which stimulated the eldest child's rapid growth of jealousy, which led to frequent incidents of the eldest child hurting the second child.

So how did the author of this book resolve the dissatisfaction of the eldest son with the second son and cultivate a pair of good sons with deep brotherly love? Let’s take a look!

"When Feifei came out of her belly, she really brought a gift for her brother: a off-road sports car that could turn somersaults. An An felt that although the baby cried so loudly that it was still trustworthy and acceptable." The gift was naturally prepared by her mother in advance. Because when her mother's belly was only four months old, her mother asked An An to stick to her belly and talk to the baby in her belly.

and told An An that the baby comes from heaven just like An An and is a gift from God to the mother. On the day when the baby arrives, he will also bring gifts from heaven to his brother.

cleverly resolved the psychological impact of the arrival of the second child on the boss. The eldest brother also developed a liking for the second child because of the gift, and psychologically accepted the arrival of his younger brother.

When the neighbor's aunt came to visit her mother and her second son who had just returned from hospital, she brought double gifts, one for the eldest son, An'an, and one for the second son, Feifei.

As soon as the neighbor's aunt came in, she first gave An An a hug and a gift, and then asked for An An's opinion: "Can I go see my brother?" For the sake of the gift, An An agreed generously. When

Auntie left, she kissed An'an again at the door and said loudly to her mother: "I think the eldest is the most beautiful, what do you think?"

very heartwarmingly eliminated the sense of loss that the eldest had because of the attention the second child received. The eldest brother's affection for the second child has also increased a bit.

Not all visiting guests are as adventurous as the neighbor's aunt. They will directly ignore the existence of the boss, just praise the second child, and only bring gifts to the second child, without feeling the loss of the boss at all.

Afterwards, my mother comforted the eldest son silently with a hug, driving away the uneasiness and loss in his heart. "Mom put down the comb, hugged the eldest son into her arms, and she felt a little sad."

As much as the mother loves the eldest son, the eldest son will love the second son, and conversely, the second son will love the second son. Love will be passed on!

The boss bit the second child's nose with his teeth... "Do you love me, Di Di?" An An asked.

"Love it!" Feifei said without thinking.

When the elder brother does something wrong and his mother wants to punish him, the younger brother will also protect him. "The two brothers hug each other and depend on each other."

Everything in the world is less and less, but love is more and more.

3. Love and understanding, waiting and acceptance are the way out and salvation for children.

Some time ago, there was an online video that aroused heated discussion.

An eight or nine-year-old girl took some snacks in a supermarket and was caught by the clerk on the spot and brought to her parents.

In anger, the parents scolded and kicked the girl in front of everyone, as if the child was the heinous criminal.

Parents do this because they feel that their children have embarrassed themselves, and they are eager to tell everyone that it is just the child's personal behavior and not the parents' inaction. Parents just want to save some face for themselves, but they don't take into account their children's feelings at all.

Children are young and ignorant. Because of their poor self-control, it is inevitable that they will make mistakes of one kind or another occasionally.

In fact, children who have made mistakes are also afraid and ashamed in their hearts. They need to understand and accept, and be guided and educated correctly, instead of being directly convicted and put on a permanent "shame" under the fists and humiliation of their parents.

If their parents cannot educate their children correctly, but wantonly trample on their children's self-esteem, then the children will continue to deny themselves, and their understanding of love will be deficient or extreme.

When children grow up, they will either live in the shadow of childhood all their lives; or they will live without dignity, feeling that it doesn't matter what they do, lack of shame, and may even embark on the path of crime.

Making mistakes is a compulsory course for every child. Only parents' love, understanding, waiting and acceptance are the children's way out and salvation!

This book also talks about how mothers deal with children stealing chocolates. So how did the mother maintain the child's dignity and teach the child a profound lesson? Let’s continue reading together!

After the mother received a call from the supermarket owner and learned that An An's good friend Freddy had stolen something in the supermarket, she did not rush to convict the child. Instead, she thought that when she was eight years old, she also took her mother's ten-dollar bill and hid it under the closet, but her father saw it clearly in the full-length mirror.

Mom came to the supermarket, and the supermarket owner whispered to her: "He is really scared, don't scare him."

Mom knelt down in front of little Freddy, hugged Freddy into her arms, comforted him first, and told him: "They won't call the police, I will take good care of you."

After calming Freddy's emotions, mother said she needed to understand what happened, and encouraged Freddy to tell the truth.

Freddy vividly performed the process of "committing a crime" in which he shrank his neck, bent over, and hugged his big belly. And told her mother truthfully: An An did not participate in "committing the crime", but participated in "dividing the dirt".

After understanding the whole thing, her mother solemnly asked Freddy not to "commit crimes" again, otherwise she would no longer be friends with him. Freddy sincerely agreed.

After returning home, my mother calmly had a long and patient talk with An An. Guide An An to understand that if he fails to report what he knows and still participates in the "dividing of filth", he is an accomplice. And told him that the crime of the accomplice was almost as serious: "He has six points, and you have four points."

An'an was then punished to write a self-criticism, clean the fallen leaves in the yard, and cannot watch TV for three days; Freddy, accompanied by his father, sent a bouquet of flowers to the supermarket owner, apologized, and was also fined to sweep the yard and not watch TV for three days.

Perhaps many years later, the two children will still remember: on that "sunny afternoon like peanut oil", the two good friends could only look at each other from a distance across the fence because they were punished.

Mothers use understanding and love to maintain their children's dignity, and at the same time, they also use guidance and education to make their children understand: "It turns out that there are places that are not allowed to go and things that are not allowed to be done in this world."

In short, educating children is never an easy task, let alone something that can achieve immediate results. It is a long road that requires parents to accompany their children to complete it slowly.

As the German philosopher Jaspers said: Education is like one tree shaking another tree, one cloud pushing another cloud, and one soul awakening another soul.

Every child is a flower. Before he blooms, it is the parent's duty to awaken him.

In this awakening process, parents should respect the laws of their children's growth, listen to the voices of their children's growth, and do not use their own rhythm to encourage growth.

Finally, I hope every parent can be a catcher in the wheat field, watching from a distance, reaching out to their child when he needs it, and telling him: "Child, take your time, parents are always here!"