ward, Cheng Cheng, who was over one year old, suffered from Kawasaki disease and was taken care of by his mother, but Cheng Cheng kept crying for his grandma.
Chengcheng’s mother could only keep coaxing him, but even if Chengcheng fell asleep, he was not very stable.
Chengcheng’s mother said with a wry smile:
Chengcheng has always been taken care of by his grandma. I have to go to work and I’m afraid it will affect my rest, so I sleep with my grandma at night.
This time the child was sick and could only be cared for by one person. Grandma also had a fever, so she came by herself, but the person Cheng Cheng wanted in his heart was grandma.
Looking at Cheng Cheng who was not close to her in her arms, Cheng Cheng's mother was not only worried about her child's condition, but also full of loss and helplessness.
In life, many mothers are forced by financial pressure to entrust their children to their grandparents right after giving birth, while they go out to make money to support their families.
Indeed, although some children grew up with their grandparents and were close to their grandparents, as they grow older, they also love their parents very much and are very close to their mothers.
However, there are also some children who were raised by their grandparents and only kiss their grandparents but not their mother at all. It is also difficult for the mother to get into the heart of the child, and the parent-child relationship seems to be broken.
The following reasons why children raised by grandma are not close to their mother are also fundamental.
1. Lack of responsibility as a parent
In life, some mothers leave their children to the elderly to take care of them when their children are young, in order to work and make money so that they can provide their children with good material conditions.
Because she has the responsibility of being a parent, even if she can't get along with her children day and night, she always thinks about her children.
Not only does the child eat and drink, but the mother also takes care of it with care.
In her normal days, she would often make phone calls and video calls with her children, and care about every detail of their growth.
When you have time, go home and stay with your children, or take your children to stay with you for a few days.
As long as she is with her children, mothers will put aside all distracting thoughts, play with them, sleep with them, and provide them with high-quality companionship.
Although parents are not able to accompany their children day and night, they have always been concerned about their children's lives and have not been too absent from their children's growth.
Although children cannot see their parents every day, they often have their mothers' concern in their daily lives and know their parents' love for them, so they will also think about and love their parents in their hearts.
With this natural blood relationship and nurture, the relationship between a child and his mother is naturally irreplaceable.
But there are also some mothers, maybe because they are young and playful. After giving birth, they don’t want to be fettered by the child, so after giving the child to the elderly, they really don’t care about anything.
Our neighbor Aunt Sun often complains:
How can a mother be like this? The child has been here for seven years and she hasn’t even seen her for ten days and a half.
After the grandson was born, Aunt Sun and his wife have been taking care of him. The son and his wife continue to live their own lives and rarely come to Aunt Sun's house.
The children are now in primary school, and they are also very indifferent to their parents. They cannot get close to them at all, and they almost never go back to their home.
Since there are no traces of parents in the child's memory of growing up, there is no dependence or trust on his mother. For him, his mother is just a title, so naturally he cannot get close to her.
2. Mom hates children raised by grandma
Dabao has been raised by her mother-in-law since birth. Over the years, in order to reduce family conflicts, Ling has rarely interfered in the children's affairs, and has lived a life that looks free and unrestrained to outsiders.
In Ling's eyes, many of her daughter's behaviors and habits are exactly the same as those of her mother-in-law.
Ling usually has no patience with her children, and sometimes she always wants to change her children's behavior and habits. The children are unwilling to cooperate, and with the support of her grandma, the children go their own way.
Ling said secretly in private: This child of mine seems to have been born to my mother-in-law. She is really not close to me.
When faced with a child raised by a mother-in-law, a mother will subconsciously transfer her dissatisfaction with the mother-in-law to the child. If the child is ill, she will naturally not like the child.
Emotions are mutual. Compared with the obedient grandmother, the children are less willing to get close to the "thorny" mother.
3. Influenced by grandma
My friend’s mother-in-law is a very possessive person. After the child was born, her mother-in-law took the child away.
My mother-in-law always said that she didn’t know how to take care of children.
When the child is older, the mother-in-law always likes to instill in the child the concept that grandma loves him the most, mother does not love him, mother is not good, and mother does not want him.
Friends often set rules for their children, but grandma always spoils the children secretly, which makes the children hate their mother more and more and get closer to their grandma.
(The above pictures are all from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact us to delete them)
Some grandmothers are more powerful, selfish, and possessive. Because they don’t want to see their daughter-in-law, they want to control their grandchildren and let them kiss themselves instead of their mother.
The bond between mother and child is innate. If you miss the companionship of your child, mother should not be discouraged. You can still make up for it through hard work.
No matter how busy she is at work, mothers must meet their children's physical and psychological needs so that they can feel their mother's love and be able to rely on and trust their mothers.
In this way, even children raised by grandma will still kiss their mother.
Senior nanny, mother of two children, focuses on maternal and infant health, child care and education, and to get more parenting information, welcome to follow Yinhua Parenting!
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