"Having both children and a daughter" is the long-cherished wish of most parents. However, once the wish comes true, parents will find that their attitudes towards raising two children are completely different.
When the two children were young, their parents loved their daughters extremely much. They always praised their daughters for being well-behaved and sensible, but despised their sons for being naughty and troublesome. But after the children got married and started a career, the parents slowly began to show their "carefulness" - they thought of their daughters when it was their turn to provide for themselves, but they thought of their sons when it was their turn to provide for themselves.
Why is this?
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant.
"Since ancient times, there is no reason to leave inheritance to daughters."
The old Zhou family has a son and a daughter. The age difference between the son and daughter is less than three years, and the time between the children getting married and having children is less than a year apart.
In order to prevent conflicts between their children, Lao Zhou and his wife paid a down payment for a house to their son and gave their daughter a car as their wedding gift.
’s parents’ actions once made their daughter extremely happy, showing off everywhere that their parents treated their children fairly. Unexpectedly, Lao Zhou's way of handling the issue of inheritance distribution still caused a rift between father and daughter.
It was agreed at the beginning that the children should be divided equally, and a bowl of water should be equal. But when he fell ill, he suddenly changed his tune and felt that all the inheritance should be given to his son, and there was no reason to leave it to his daughter.
Her father's change of attitude surprised her daughter. It wasn't until the two had a big quarrel that Lao Zhou was willing to tell the reason. It turned out to be because he felt that his daughter would belong to someone else's family after she got married.
If he gave half of his inheritance to his daughter, he would inevitably be missed by his son-in-law. This feeling made him uneasy. And since the daughter has married into the son-in-law's family, it is natural that the son-in-law should take on the responsibility of supporting the family. This inheritance is dispensable to the daughter's family.
It is better to leave everything to my son. He is the main labor force in the family. He has to support the elderly and the children, and he has a heavy burden on his shoulders. This time when I got sick, I relied on my son to run around and provide money and efforts, so it was appropriate to inherit the entire inheritance.
Many second-child families with a son and a daughter may have parents who think the same as Lao Zhou.
When they were young, they might be able to treat their two children "even with a bowl of water". After all, the palms and backs of their hands are all flesh, but when they get older, they have to consider more practical issues.
For example, your own pension issues, your son-in-law’s character issues, your son’s responsibility to support the family, etc. These may be the reasons why parents do not leave inheritance to their daughters.
If parents are sensible and do not leave inheritance to their daughters, but do not require their daughters to come and take care of themselves in old age, maybe they can understand a little bit.
But the most fearful thing is that there are a kind of troubled parents around. They want to enjoy their daughters' caring services when they are taking care of themselves, but when it is their turn to divide the inheritance, they don't think about their daughters at all.
Why do some parents leave inheritance to their sons and ask their daughters to come and provide for them in their old age?
The most fundamental reason lies in the feudal thought of "preferring boys over girls".
This bad idea that has been passed down for thousands of years cannot be completely eliminated in a short time. In today's modern civilized society where " gender equality " is emphasized everywhere, its shadow can still be seen.
In some families, whenever there is a son, the daughter basically becomes the "blood-sucking" party.
From a young age, the need for food, clothing, housing and transportation must be met first. Daughters must learn to be sensible, obedient and considerate, and not to compete with older brothers or younger brothers, otherwise it will be unfilial.
Just like Su Mingyu in " is good ", her brother needs money to study, so the mother will try her best to make her daughter drop out of school and go out to make money to work to support the family. She can even rent out her daughter's room without saying hello.
thought that after making money and growing up, he would be able to fly far away from his "blood-sucking" family of origin. But when we really go out, we realize that we may not be able to reconcile with it for the rest of our lives.
A large part of the money you earn outside will often go into the pockets of your elder brother or younger brother. No matter how hard you struggle, you can't escape the cage woven by your parents.
What’s even more cruel is that it’s enough to exploit your children financially, but in your later years you will continue to torment your daughters, thinking that it is natural for them to provide for you in old age.
In the eyes of parents who favor sons over daughters, a daughter may be a tool. When the parents need it, the child has to appear and contribute money and effort as a matter of course;
When I have interests, I think of my son, but when I have something to do, I think of my daughter first. This is probably the normal state of a family that favors sons over daughters.
[Final summary]
Mickey Albom said: "A child is like a clean glass, whoever takes it will Leave fingerprints on it. Some parents stain the cup, some crack the cup, and a few parents destroy their children's childhood into irremediable pieces. "Whether it is an issue of inheritance distribution or pension, I hope parents can try to treat their children equally. If you are too biased, some children will get hurt.
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