Once when I was reading a book, my child quietly walked over and stood behind me. I asked him what was wrong. He said a little embarrassedly, "If I did something wrong, would you say me?" I stared at him and said with a smile, "What did you do again?" He said, "I accidentally bro

Once when I was reading a book, my child quietly walked over and stood behind me. I asked him what was wrong. He said a little embarrassedly, "If I did something wrong, would you say me?"

I stared at him and said with a smile, "What did you do again?"

He said, "I accidentally broke the chain of the bicycle. Please help me repair it."

I said, "Didn't you tell you to be careful? Did you press the regulator randomly when riding a bike?

The child nodded, and I said that you have to find a way to solve the mistake you made. It was too late and I couldn’t repair it well. The car repairer probably went home too. You don’t want to ride a bike to school tomorrow, just walk by yourself.

Although the child was a little unhappy, there was no way. The next day he got up very early and walked to school by himself. Because he knew that if he didn't ride a bike, he would take 20 minutes to walk, and if he didn't set out in advance, he would be late.

I deliberately dragged it for two days before I repaired the bicycle for him and told him that if he still disobeys the bicycle in the future, then keep walking to school.

Since then, he has taken great care of bicycles.

This is the "self-inflicting" I have let my child experience. Because only when a child feels the consequences of his behavior can he remember it deeply. When encountering such a thing or situation next time, he can restrain his behavior and avoid similar events from happening again.

I personally think that letting children experience "self-inflicted" is very helpful for their growth. Because children always cannot avoid making mistakes during their growth. We are not afraid of children making mistakes, but we are afraid of children making mistakes again and again, and we do not have a memory.

Let the child bear the consequences and punishments of the mistakes themselves, which will help the child correct his mistakes and let the child grow in a better direction.

This is also the natural punishment rule of the famous educator Rousseau . Rousseau believes that the punishment received by children should only be the natural consequences caused by his faults.

Natural punishment is to let children learn to be responsible for their actions and bear all the consequences of their actions. The purpose is to hope that through natural punishment, children can learn to take responsibility and actively correct bad behaviors.

In life, many times, we parents are helpers and solvers of children's problems, and we always help children deal with various problems. But if we want our children to learn to change, we parents must first learn to let go and let their children try the taste of "being self-inflicted".

For example, Children like to be slow in the morning and always click into the classroom when they go to school. They also blame their parents for not getting up early and waiting.

My parents can cancel the alarm clock in the morning , do not urge children to go to school, and let children procrastinate. Only when the child is late and is criticized by the teacher will they realize what consequences their procrastination will cause to them.

I think most children will never be delayed if they are late once and are criticized and educated by teachers once.

For example, Children always can’t remember the homework assigned by the teacher and always ask parents to help ask for homework. This is obviously the result of the child not paying attention to listening in class, and the child has a strong dependence on parents.

We can choose not to help our children ask for homework, let the children find ways to solve the problem by themselves, or not let the children do their homework. If a child fails to complete his homework, he will definitely be criticized by the teacher.

Which child is willing to be criticized? So next time, the child will definitely remember the homework clearly and will not forget the homework again.

For example, Children are more picky in food. When eating, they don’t like to eat any food they don’t like. In order to help children get rid of their picky food problem, we can choose to "hungry" the child for a few meals and tell them that if they don't eat well while eating, they will not only have no food to eat, but they will not be able to eat snacks all day.

We need to put away all the fruit and snacks at home, create a foodless environment for children, and let them taste the hunger caused by picky food.

Hungry for a few meals will not only correct the child’s habit of being picky in food, but also let the child learn to cherish food without wasting it.

It is necessary to remind parents that when we decide to "be self-inflicted" natural punishment on our children, our parents' attitudes must be consistent. One cannot sing white-faced and the other can sing sing white-faced and the other can sing sing buzzy. This will not only not have an educational effect on children, but will also intensify conflicts.

The purpose of letting children feel "self-inflicted" is to help children get rid of bad habits and bad habits, cultivate good habits of children, improve their self-discipline and management abilities, and allow children to grow and develop better.

At the same time, we should also pay attention to implementing the "self-inflicted" plan based on the child's age and acceptance ability, because some children are relatively young and may not be able to understand the painstaking efforts of their parents. When parents cannot meet their own requirements, they will only cry. This will hurt the child's health and can guide the child patiently.

When children enter puberty, it may be more likely to have conflicts with parents because of some things. At this time, we should talk to children more and chat with them, provide accurate guidance to children, and help them open their heart knots.

In short, letting children "take their own consequences" should formulate punishment measures based on actual conditions. They should not only let children understand that if they make mistakes, they must bear the consequences, but also serve as a warning to their children's behavior.