Hello everyone, I am Tomato Mom!
"The second child cannot be born just by wanting to have a child"! After the second child was released, many young parents around him were indifferent and had no idea of having another child at all. Raising one was enough. But many parents whose children have grown up have the idea of having another one, but they encounter another big problem because of the childbearing age.
My friend Xiao Li's daughter Mengmeng is as old as my son. Because the two children are about the same age, we often play together, and the two children are very familiar with each other. Every time Mengmeng comes to my house, she likes my daughter the most. She plays house with her and woves her little braids. My daughter is like her "toy", always following her ass.
My husband joked with her, "I will send my sister to your house at night, and from now on you will be her real sister and live in your house."
We all laughed and expressed our agreement, only the cute little head shaking like a little rattle : " I don't want my sister, my sister can't go to my house. "
Her mother also expressed her distress and said to me secretly: "We plan to have a second child. We have discussed it with our daughter several times. She is strongly opposes , and we don't know what to do."
My daughter is 11 years old, and it is really a bit late to remember that she is going to have a second child at this time. The child is used to living alone at home, and occasionally friends can have a great time together. However, there is really a child who calls her father dad and wants to occupy her mother's arms. I guess she won't agree.
Many families have this reality. When the first child grows up, parents feel that they have the energy and time to have a second child. As a result, Dabao and do not welcome younger brothers and sisters. Therefore, this second child is not something you want, and there must be the right time. If the timing is wrong, the family will be in chaos after giving birth and will not reach the life you want.
Want to have a second child, the attitude of older children towards second babies is very important
Occasionally, you can hear from the news that there is news that older women give birth. The older children have long been adults, and they are in their fifties and sixties, and have another second child. The parents' actions made the elder brother and sister feel very embarrassed, and some even turned against their parents.
Some parents also think that when their children are in their teenage years, they can have another second child, but the child is also firmly opposed. There are also children of a few years old who are more repulsive to their younger brothers and sisters, fearing that their arrival will threaten their position.
◎So, when parents consider having a second child, if they are too old to have a big baby, they should be cautious if they want a second child.
Brothers and sisters who are twenty years apart may become burdens to older brothers and sisters, so they will not like it. It is actually understandable why they don’t welcome their brothers and sisters. My parents are old, and my younger brothers and sisters are still so young. The brothers and sisters do not have the love of growing up together.
What kind of disaster are there for parents? These brothers and sisters can't help much, but instead will become a burden to their elder brothers and sisters. As an adult, of course no one wants to have such brothers and sisters.
The big baby is in his teenage years, and he is generally not going to support his parents' decision to have a second child.
A child's adolescence is a very special period. The child is young, but he is no longer young. He has a strong ability to take care of himself and is eager to get rid of his parents' control over himself.However, their minds are not fully mature, and they feel that they are so old. It is a provocation to their parents to have another child.
Therefore, their resistance is generally very fierce. Parents should also do their children's ideological work well and not let their children have excessive behavior.
◎The difference between two children is 3 to 5 years old, which is the most suitable age difference for the second child.
Many mothers have a personal experience, that is, after the age of 3, their dependence on their mothers will gradually decrease. The child has started to go to kindergarten, and the mother can have some free time if she has anything to do. When the child is between 3 and 5 years old, his ability to take care of himself is enhanced, and parents can free up time to conceive and take care of another baby.
From the perspective of children, I think if the two children have that are more than 10 years old, will have a "generation gap" for , and they cannot accompany each other to grow together. Because Dabao has a heavy academic performance, he basically has no time to grow up with his younger brothers and sisters.
3~5 years old age difference . The two children basically have a common language . The happy time of growing up together will be the best memory of two children. The two children have been with each other since childhood, and have deep feelings, and the deep love between brothers and sisters is the true meaning of parents having a second child.
◎The age difference is too large, it is not recommended to have a second child. The same two children are less than 2 years apart. It is not recommended to have a second child
If you are not a very rich person, it is not recommended to have a second child after giving birth to a big baby. First of all, the mother's physical health problem. After raising her first child, her mother's health has not recovered yet. Being pregnant again is not good for her health, especially for mothers who have caesarean section.
In addition, the age difference between the two children is too small. Mothers will be very tired to take care of the two children, and often there will be situations where they cannot be taken care of. Even if someone helps to take care of the child, Dabao’s dependence on his mother is separated and his sense of security for the child is not good.
Parents who want to have a second child should try to choose to have a second child at the right time, which will be beneficial to family harmony and the improvement of parent-child relationship.
Interactive topic: Everyone’s actual situation is different. If you plan to have a second child, when do you think the best time is?
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