Many people ask how to change children's personality. It's very simple, it's a large number of companions. Case: A girl from eleven or twelve years old was sent abroad to study. Someone sexually harassed her, causing a lot of problems. In the end, the little girl was protected by

Author: Zhao Xiaoming Editor: Yang Liyun

Xiaoming Quotes

Many people ask how to change children's personality. It's very simple, it's a large number of companions.

Case: A girl from eleven or twelve years old was sent abroad to study. Someone sexually harassed her, causing a lot of problems. In the end, the little girl was protected by the police. Children are frightened physically and mentally. How should these problems be dealt with?

01 provides a sense of security

First of all, in the current situation, the first thing this child needs is a sense of security.

If the child is fostered in another family, the child can only rely on the person she thinks is closest to.

After any child is hurt, her first reaction is to find an important person who can make her feel safe. If she can't find such a person, then for the child, she can only deal with this matter in a depressing way.

If the local department can provide her with a certain kind of psychological counseling service, the service may effectively help the child solve part of the problem he suppresses in a way.

02 Change cognition in stages

Children may have a cognitive understanding of this matter at each stage, and the cognitive understanding of different age groups will be different.

So maybe at the moment, we provide this child with a safe guarantee through an urgent method, so that she can temporarily become safe.

Through post-event psychological counseling, children can have a cognitive understanding of the current matter, and then provide comfort through important others among family members. The child will have a better solution to this matter.

However, this matter still needs to be handled again after a few years.

The reason is that children of each age will change their understanding of things. Whenever they reach the next stage of their life, they may re-understand this matter. Whenever they need to re-understand it, it is best to re-cognize this matter cognitively, emotionally, and emotionally through a psychological counseling method, re-organize memory, and re-improve emotional functions. This is a necessary situation.

Generally speaking, if you say that in this way, in several important stages of her life development before adulthood, such as the current stage, and adolescence is a stage, and in several important stages of development before and after marriage, you can provide continuity help with psychological counseling, so that this matter can be finally solved to a certain extent.

Generally speaking, after something happens, it will leave something for people more or less. What is left behind can affect the child's understanding of the world and her future understanding of the world.

can adapt to positive or negative effects, or to her increase her awareness of self-protection, or make her feel that the world is dangerous and unreliable. This is a problem that requires multiple phased help from psychological counseling to solve.

This is not a simple thing, nor is it a one-time performance solution, it is a matter that requires time to slowly solve the opinions in stages.

In reality, many girls will experience sexual harassment more or less during their growth, and many girls do not deal with it after being sexually harassed. At an important age in life development, there is no effective treatment. We always respond in a repressive way, and even have a wrong understanding of this matter.

Currently, many parents in China will adopt a method that is to tend to send their children abroad to study. In fact, this issue needs to be divided into two parts. It is not simply judged as a good or a bad thing.

is sent abroad. If there is a necessary environment for children to grow up, it can be considered a good thing.For example, parents are by their side and have good economic living conditions, so that their children can adapt well to the transition from the domestic environment to the foreign environment.

But if there are no necessary conditions, and just because we have the opportunity to send our children abroad, but cannot provide them with some long-term and effective help in kinship, financial and emotional aspects, then this matter is not a simple and good thing, it may have some other impact on the children.

What a child needs to grow up is multifaceted. Education is an important factor, but not the only factor. The physical and mental health of children is also an important factor, including how children can adapt to two different national systems or life systems in the future.

03 Parents’ handling methods

Back to the issue of the 12-year-old girl who was harassed. How should this matter be solved?

First of all, parents can choose to go abroad to be with their children at this time.

Going with your child is not just to discuss things about harassment with your child, but to discuss everything about her life in a foreign land with your child, appearing in a mother's image, and not over-strengthening your own affairs.

Children also have to interact more with their mothers in this process to let their mothers understand their children’s learning and life.

Children can also tell their mothers a lot of other things, which can help the child get back to the feeling about being with his mother, which is good for him to deal with this current emotional state.

Secondly, psychological counseling must keep up, it can help children deal with all stress states related to this matter.

Parents should seek help from counselors with regular institutions and persuade their children to voluntarily accept psychological counseling, explain the purpose of psychological counseling clearly, avoid misunderstandings in children, and even resist emotions in psychological counseling.

Then, parents need to improve their knowledge level when it comes to this matter. This has not happened in the past, and parents may not need to have relevant knowledge.

But after things happen, parents need to learn more psychological knowledge, learn more about psychology common sense related to this, and know what stage of growth your child is in. When you observe that your child has some performance, you can remind the child that maybe you need the assistance of a psychological counselor at this time.

Parents can also know how to identify the physical and mental state of children at different times, ages, and stages. These all require more psychological knowledge.

So, this is an opportunity to promote parents to better learn psychology in . If parents continue to learn psychology, it will not only help their children, but also improve their personality level. After all these things are improved, things will always have a good result.

The last reminder is that no matter whether the parent is a psychological counselor, or her guardian, you should not talk directly to your child at this stage: "What's wrong?" "What's wrong with you?" "Are you afraid?" Don't ask your child about this matter directly, as this will make your child feel panic.

What methods can I speak? You can tell her: "You are brave, you protected yourself in the right way" , and then talk to your child about her life, study and other issues here, and then carry on from here.

When you see a child, never contact the child with a crying expression with a deep hatred. This expression of first meeting, a moment of things, is likely to make the child remember it for many years.

may also make the child give a meaning to the current harassment incident, because the expression says everything, and your expression seems to be telling the child what this matter is.

The child's trauma and the fact that she is harassed should be left to professionals to solve.

Xiao Ming Quotes

When parents raise their children, they must see the future and must not plan their children's career according to the current social situation.