Before starting to discuss today's topic, I will first share with parents a story worthy of everyone's attention.
Xiaoxiao is a third-grade elementary school student. She is extroverted, easy-going and optimistic. When she was in school, she never caused trouble and was able to take care of other classmates.
Last year, Xiaoxiao's mother found that she was a little abnormal. Usually, when Xiaoxiao comes home, she will pester her mother who is cooking and tells interesting things happening in school. But those days, after Xiaoxiao comes home from school, she doesn’t even eat food, and goes straight into the study to do her homework, and locks the door.
Xiaoxiao's mother believes that the reason why Xiaoxiao is abnormal may be because she encountered difficulties in her studies or was criticized by the teacher, so she didn't think much about it.
However, a few months later, Xiaoxiao was still like this, and he talked less and less. A girl who has always been lively and cheerful became depressed.
Xiaoxiao's mother was worried about something going on with her child, so she asked her, Xiaoxiao kept saying it was okay.
Until one day, Xiaoxiao's mother went to a parent-teacher meeting. The teacher said that Xiaoxiao was not sociable in the class and was isolated.
Xiaoxiao's mother panicked. Under her "compromised question", Xiaoxiao finally told her what she had experienced in the past few months.
It turned out that the school was holding the "Art Festival Creative Grand Prix" during that period, and Xiaoxiao's class lost to the next class. Because Xiaoxiao and Xiaozuo from the next class are best friends, they are suspected to be "spy" by their classmates. In this way, the whole class began to be isolated and Xiaoxiao.
Xiaoxiao's mother was very sad after hearing this. If the child could tell her earlier, the child would not have kept pretending to be this matter in her heart, and then she would be depressed every day.
In fact, this is exactly the problem that most children have and is also something that is very easy for parents to ignore.
In summary, many children are bullied in school or other places. After suffering grievances, they do not tell their parents and bear it alone.
Many parents believe that this is a sign of their children's strength, but this is not the case. On the contrary, this phenomenon just shows that children are timid and fragile.
For children, how can a small body withstand such great harm? Under
, I will share with parents what the main reason why the child is bullied and dare not tell the parents.
Children who are too "obedient"
When bullied, they are prone to swallow their anger
In most families, parents have always regarded obedience as an educational concept. However, children who are too obedient are more likely to be bullied outside and are also "report good news but not bad news" at home.
There is a movie abroad called "Magic Cinderella", which tells the story of a kind girl who was bullied because of her "obedience".
When Ella was just born, the bad witch cast "obedient magic" on her body. No matter who it was, she had to be obedient.
Later, Ella's mother passed away and her father married her stepmother with her two sisters. Ella's dark life came.
My sister often makes some rude requests to Ella. Although Ella is very reluctant, under the influence of magic, every time her sister orders her, Ella immediately obeys.
This incident made her feel very painful because she didn't want to do many things.
In reality, there are many children like Ella. Although they do not have magic, they have always been instilled with the idea of "obedient".
A child who is too obedient has no independent thinking, What others say is what they are, so they are easily bullied.
When he is bullied by others, he often does not fight back. Instead, he will have a kind of "identification psychology" . In other words, he will think: others treat me like this must be because I am not good enough.
And the reason why he was unwilling to tell his parents after being wronged is that he was afraid of the parents’ accusations, and the other is that deep in his heart, he believed that being bullied was a very unpromising thing.
Of course, this does not mean that rebellious children are not easily bullied. No educational method should be guided by extreme results. It is the most important thing to guide children to think independently.
I hope every child is gentle but powerful
sensible but have a stand
We can cultivate children's gentle personality and a way of dealing with others, but we must grasp a principle:
Children can be gentle, but they must also have the power to protect themselves; children can also be sensible, but they must have their own stand.
In fact, it is difficult for us to avoid being bullied by children, but we can let children learn to tell their parents as soon as possible when they encounter dangers and difficulties.
is my suggestion. parents can often say these words to their children in their daily lives, which will give their children a lot of sense of security. If they encounter anything in the future, they will no longer worry about parents criticizing them.
First, parents love you unconditionally, so no matter what happens to you, parents will be by your side to help you.
Second, if someone bullies you, it is not your fault, but the other party’s problem.
Third, even if you are bullied, don’t fight back violently, but protect yourself in a reasonable way.
Fourth, you must have principles. If others ask you to do things you don’t want to do, you must learn to say “no”.
As parents, we must be clear that when children encounter dangers and difficulties, only we love them unconditionally, so if we cannot even help them, how much harm it will be for the children.
OK, that’s all for today’s sharing. If you have parenting problems, you can leave me a message!
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