Parenting is the most troublesome thing for parents, but growing up and accompanying is the happiest thing. Children before adolescence are in the stage of being ignorant and enlightenment. Training and education should be done: has more constraints and less reasoning!
1. More constraints are given to children, and less reasoning is because children at this stage are not yet mature in their minds, and there is no clear view of right and wrong. Instinctive impulses and initial desires still dominate. At this time, just set rules for him (her).
Specifically, it is to tell him what can be done and what cannot be done. Simply put, it is to establish rules. Rules are specific and real constraints. It is a standard for parents to give their children right or wrong and whether they are okay or not. In other words, it is to establish the simplest behavioral norms for children. A child expert once said that some children are very rebellious and willful when they grow up because they did not say no to them before they were six years old and did not punish some willful or indulgent behaviors. I think this view is correct!
2. It is not unreasonable to speak less, but to speak at the right time and not too profound.
1. When a child is restrained, a sentence he often asks is: Why? Why? At this time, parents can give a simple and clear reply.
Example: When parents stop their children from watching their mobile phones or TV for a long time, they often ask this question, and it is obviously resistant. At this time, you can explain the reasons and he will definitely listen, because at this time he is waiting for your answer. Of course, it is another matter whether he is convinced or not.
You can tell him simply and clearly: watching mobile phones or TV for a long time will affect your vision! Look at whoever is around you, who has put on deep glasses, and you have to take off your rope when you jump, and you have to wear it on your book. Do you want to be like this? Or tell him directly: Before you finish your homework, do your homework first and then watch TV. You must distinguish between the primary and secondary work!
answers like this invisibly set rules for the child, and the constraints are also produced. As long as parents adhere to such constraints and do what they say, the effect of a few simple sentences is much better than your usual nagging and preaching.
2. There is another common situation where children ask questions actively and interested in life. At this time, they are not about restraining and establishing rules, but rather strike while the iron is hot to let the children understand the truth and cultivate a correct outlook on life.
Example: Once when I was buying fruits, an old lady who picked up garbage passed by. When the owner was not paying attention, the old man took an apple outside the fruit store as a defective product and secretly put it into her garbage bag. The boss saw it and shouted loudly and took it back, while swearing and driving her away. I stopped and said, "Boss, please give the grandma two good apples, I'll pay for her." On the way back, the child asked with interest, "Mom, why do we buy apples for her if we don't know her?" I calmly told the child a truth: everyone has time to grow old, be kind to the elderly! And take the opportunity to tell him: You must study hard, and only then will you have the ability to help others if you have a job and a promising future! If this principle is taught in daily life, the child may not be convinced, but the current teaching will definitely plant a kind seed of distinguishing right and wrong in his young heart.
3. Even if you want to reason with your child, don’t talk about some truths beyond the age of your child that he cannot feel.
Example: Many parents will teach their children a heartbroken lesson when they don’t like to study or have poor grades: the consequences of not studying hard are bad, and they will have neither competitive advantages nor stable income in the future. I even tell my children very specifically that you will not be able to afford a house or a car in the future!
These words are indeed bitter, but the effect must be not good.It’s not that these reasons are wrong, but for a child who has grown up in a normal environment since childhood, he has never experienced it personally, and has surpassed the cognitive range of the young mind, so he naturally cannot empathize. Even if you speak with tears and emotion, he can only barely deal with a few words of misunderstanding, and it will be in a blink of an eye.
3. Constraints are mandatory but not one-way. Parents must set rules and set an example and teach by example.
is now the era of multimedia information. As children grow up, the more they know the world, the stronger their self-proclaimed personality will be. At this time, if you simply ask him to do something and don’t allow him to do anything, the child will be more and more rebellious. At this time, parents should set an example more to demonstrate, so that they can have better results.
Example 1: requires children to eat the rice in the bowl, so that adults can’t have rice grains left at the bottom of the bowl, and they must instill the saving concept of “who knows that every grain of meal on the plate is hard”.
Example 2: requires children to clean the room and desk neatly, and parents must clean the house and place the tables neatly. Children will naturally develop the good habit of daily tidying up and storage when they hear and see.
Example 3: The power of parents’ role models is endless, and the same is true for correcting children’s addiction to mobile phones. On the one hand, parents keep on hand and watch the phone in front of their children with relish. On the other hand, they ask their children not to touch their phones. How is this possible? Children are the little angel with the strongest curiosity. How could they not find out what adults are interested in? Only by chatting with the child, reading with the child, playing chess with the child, can the child's concentration be the strongest! The environment determines the atmosphere, and the atmosphere affects emotions. Parents’ words and deeds are the best norms for children!
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