text | Yingma
chatted in the parenting group, and a mother said anxiously that our child is very timid and shy . He doesn’t dare to play with other children when he takes him out.
takes the child to a relative's house. They dragged me to go home after a while, and dared not say hello when they see relatives.
Sometimes when relatives and friends at home come, he hides in the room instead!
She is really worried that her child will not be able to adapt to his studies and will not be able to find a job in the future.
Nowadays, many jobs require to be good at dancing and be able to speak and talk . I especially hope that children will be cheerful and lively!
I sent a private message to this mother and told her that your worries are redundant.
Moreover, the child’s personality is natural and difficult to correct.
Your anxiety or imposing an extroverted personality on your child will damage the child's self-esteem, increase the child's sense of guilt and shame, and make the child more introverted and more likely to be shy.
Children who are "shy and introverted" and "lively and cheerful" since childhood will have a big gap after adult work
The first: Choice of work type
Lively and cheerful children may be better at doing some sales type jobs, or be hosts, entertainment stars, sports stars, politicians, actors, speakers, etc.
Dr. Lanni, an authoritative American personality research field, mentioned in the book "The Potential Advantages of Introverted Children: Helping Your Children Thrive in Harmonious Coordination with the Outside":
Introverts are prone to shine in science, architecture, education, computer, science, non-group sports, psychology, visual arts, literature, drama and military.
The second: It is easier to make breakthroughs at work
Introverted people, because they are more focused on doing things, these people are more likely to do something without distraction. This is very suitable for scientists, architects, literary creation and other work, and it is also easier to make breakthroughs at work!
and extroverted people may make progress slower because is not focused enough for in some aspects such as focusing on learning.
The third one: Emotionally stable
Introverted people, because they are usually quieter, so their emotional fluctuations are relatively not that big . People with small emotional fluctuations will actually be more stable emotionally. Stable emotions can make him less likely to make mistakes at work.
Those who are lively and cheerful and carefree are prone to minor mistakes at work.
So a child’s introvert and shy personality is not a bad thing, and this may be of great benefit to the child’s work as an adult.
Many times, introverted children are not a bad thing, but parents' anxiety causes children's anxiety and shame.
There are introverted and shy children in the family. Parents should do these 4 things to help their children improve
First point: Don’t label your children as shy
“Shy” is often a relatively negative word. You can tell others that our children are relatively introverted, pay attention to privacy, quiet, thoughtful, or be cautious. These relatively neutral words are to describe children.
This way, children can accept their own personality and get along better with their own personality.
Second point: gradually contact strangers
Introverted children, when they come into contact with a stranger, they will take longer to observe.
So when parents take their children out to play, should not force their children to communicate with others and play together, but should let the children play alone for a while. If the children are willing to play with other children, then play. If they don’t want to, don’t force them.
The third point: avoid children performing
. For example, if a child goes to learn dance, the relatives come to the house and you forcefully pull the child out to perform dance . For children with introverted and shy personality, it is a thing that makes him feel embarrassed and makes him feel ashamed.
So parents must avoid letting their introverted children perform in public. unless the children themselves are willing, parents should not force them.
The fourth point: Don’t speak for your child
Many times the child is relatively introverted, Parents keep speaking for your child when taking your child out. This will make your child more reluctant to speak and even less willing to speak.
And parents cannot fully understand what their children are thinking. If they always speak for their children, they may guess the wrong heart.
Introverted children are not unable to communicate or speak, they are just slower, they are just thinking longer, and parents are patiently waiting for their children.
Introverted children are well trained, and it is easier to achieve success in their work. Mothers should not dislike their children's introverted and shy personality.
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