The impact of parent-child relationship is very important for children's growth. So, what is a parent-child relationship? How to cultivate a good parent-child relationship?
01 Rough Parents Extreme Children
Parent-child relationship, English is relationship of parent and children, which refers to the relationship between parents and their biological children, adopted children or stepchildren. Parents’ character, upbringing, raising, and educational methods have a direct impact on the physical and mental development of children in this relationship.
Parent-child relationship is the earliest interpersonal relationship established by children. Interpersonal relationships, English is interpersonal relationships, which are psychological relationships formed by people during interpersonal communication, reflecting the degree of satisfaction of the needs of both parties involved. If both parties can meet each other's needs, they will easily form intimate interpersonal relationships: on the contrary, it will easily lead to interpersonal rejection. Humans are social animals, and interpersonal relationships are very important. The formation of interpersonal relationships cannot be separated from parent-child relationships.
Incorrect parent-child relationships will leave regrets for the future development of children. Such examples are not uncommon in history. Lu Bu is an example. During the Three Kingdoms period, Lu Bu grew up in Baotou, Inner Mongolia as a child. His father was a general who guarded the border in the Eastern Han Dynasty. Mr. Lu is skilled in martial arts, but has a bad temper. Mr. Lu Bu’s education is stick education, and he often beats and scolds him. Lu Bu grew up in kicks and hits.
Rough parents educate extreme children. There are two types of extreme children who show that they are either extremely weak, because their self-confidence is beaten away by their parents. Either it is extreme resistance, because it believes that whoever has a strong fist will be the boss.
Lu Bu has both. The extreme weakness is manifested in Lu Bu's own lack of opinion and his behavior is "looking for a father". Although Lu Bu looks tough on the outside, he lacks the backbone in his heart, so Lu Bu keeps looking for "father" to satisfy his inner sense of dependence. Lu Bu was therefore called the "three surnames slaves". Extreme resistance is manifested as extremely serious behavior in critical moments to fight violence with violence, so the scene of "killing father" reappears, and Ding Yi and Dong Zhuo and Dong Zhuo both died by Lu Bu's hands. Lu Bu's management of using violence to suppress violence also aroused resistance from his subordinates. The subordinates Song Xian and Wei Xu betrayed Lu Bu, tied up the trapped Lu Bu and handed it over to Cao Cao .
Extreme people find it difficult to win the trust of others. People are usually called "unreliable", and who is willing to cooperate with unreliable people? So this scene happened:. Lu Bu ended up with a tragic ending of his death. Lu Bu expressed his willingness to surrender and assisted Cao Cao in pacifying the world. Cao Cao looked back at Liu Bei: "What?" Liu Bei said, "Don't you see Ding Jianyang Dong Zhuo!" Lu Bu was so angry that he cursed, "The most untrustworthy person, big ears! Don't remember when shooting the halberd at the gate?" Liu Bei said nothing, and Cao Cao ordered Lu Bu to be hanged to death.
Lu Bu died in Baimen Tower, and it should be said that Mr. Lu is to blame.
02 Parent-child triangle relationship
Parent-child relationship and husband-wife relationship seem to be incompatible, but in fact they are closely related. The relationship between husband and wife directly affects the parent-child relationship.
is around us, and such situations are common. It becomes common for couples to quarrel, with big quarrels every three days and small quarrels every day. They only rely on their own tempers to speak and do things, making the family in a mess. Parents do this and hurt their children.
parent-child triangle relationship reveals the mystery. The parent-child triangle relationship is parent-child triangulation in English. This concept was first proposed by Bowen, a famous American psychotherapy expert, in 1966. Bowen believes that if the family is regarded as a triangle, then the father, mother and child are the three corners of the triangle. In this triangle, each edge represents the relationship between two family members, including the relationship between husband and wife, father and son, and mother-son relationship. The father-son relationship and the mother-son relationship belong to the parent-child relationship, and the husband-wife relationship has an important influence on it.
Psychologists have summarized five situations.
The first type: husband The wife is harmonious, and they all give children equal love. Children will also have a good feeling and yearning for marriage, and can learn from their parents both male and female images, with a strong sense of security, a peaceful personality, good academic performance, and not rebellious.
The second type of The couple is alienated, so they are closer to the children. Couples often go to their children for compensation, so children are often spoiled, overprotected, and overintervented.
The third type of The relationship between husband and wife is completely maintained by the children. Therefore, children are often spoiled to extremes, and when they grow up, they are self-centered and selfish.
The fourth type of The girl is close to her mother, or the boy is close to her father. When a child grows up, he doesn't know how to get along with the opposite sex.
The fifth type The girl is close to her father, or the boy is close to her mother. It is difficult for children to choose a spouse when they grow up.
So, how can husband and wife do it to benefit the parent-child relationship? The answer is: Dad loves mom, mom loves the whole family! Then, the child will love everyone. (Yang Xuexian)
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