"My father-in-law, with all due respect, there is something I still don't like saying: Is it important for your family to be reunited? We have no other opportunity to get together and take a good look at our three children except during the holidays. Recently, young people Isn’t that the case? Since your daughter can go back to her parents’ home, she should also let our daughter come back!”
Jin Zhiying’s words to her father-in-law made the atmosphere of the family gathering suddenly freeze to a freezing point.
Husband Zheng Daixian knew that his wife had "time traveled" again, so he quickly picked up his wife and left her parents' home as if she was running away.
went to college and worked normally after graduation. What made Kim Ji Young become like this?
"Kim Ji-young Born in 1982" is a rare phenomenon-level bestseller in Asia in the past 10 years. In South Korea, every 50 people own one. Some readers said that this is not a novel, but a life report for each of us women.
The heroine of this book, Jin Zhiying, was born in 1982. Her father is a civil servant and her mother is a housewife. She has an older sister and a younger brother. The book tells the story of Jin Zhiying's ordinary but thought-provoking life around her childhood growth, study and work, marriage and childbirth. The book
reveals many practical problems: such as the traditional patriarchal thinking , the survival dilemma of women in the workplace, the social and self-doubts about self-worth caused by having children and returning to the family, etc., etc., you can't help but feel excited when reading it. People feel that the real Kim Ji Young is around us, or that we ourselves are that Kim Ji Young.
01
After getting married, Jin Zhiying went to celebrate her father-in-law’s birthday for the first time. All the relatives of the husband's family came, and everyone started questioning why Jin Zhiying was not pregnant yet.
They speculated that Jin Zhiying was too old and too thin, or that her hands and feet were cold, which meant poor blood circulation, or that there was a pimple on her chin, and they speculated that it must be a bad uterus ...
Seven The turn of the aunt and the eighth aunt made Jin Zhiying unable to resist.
Actually, Kim Ji-young has just gotten married and is already very busy with her current job and often has to work overtime, so she has not considered welcoming the arrival of a child for the time being.
At that moment, Jin Zhiying burst out with countless words of protest in her heart: she didn't need supplements at all, and when to have a baby was decided by herself and her husband, not with you relatives who were meeting for the first time.
But she didn't defend herself. She just said to everyone over and over again in a good-tempered manner: "No, it doesn't matter."
is not like every one of you and me in daily life.
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Obviously it is not what I want to say in my heart, but I have to wrong myself to say what others say against my will, but I am secretly unhappy in my heart.
After giving birth to a baby, Kim Ji-young's wrists suffered from overuse due to long-term work with the baby, cleaning, cooking, and laundry. After hearing Jin Zhiying's statement, the old doctor at the
clinic smiled and said that in the past, he had to beat the clothes with a wooden stick, use firewood to boil water to disinfect the clothes, and squat on the ground to wipe the floor with a cloth. Now there are washing machines, vacuum cleaners , I don’t understand what it is that women nowadays have to do so hard.
In the eyes of old doctors, women who do housework should be very relaxed. You don’t have to go out to make money, just stay at home all day.
Jin Zhiying thought angrily: The clothes will not run into the washing machine by themselves, nor will they go to the hangers to hang up after washing, nor will the vacuum cleaner drag it around with its suction head.
At the moment when the old doctor lowered his head to write the medical record, she was angry in her heart again: What is so hard about doctors nowadays? In the past, you had to take a paper report to your supervisor for signature. What is so hard for office workers nowadays? In the past, you had to plant rice by hand and harvest rice with a sickle. What is so hard for farmers now...
If you follow the old doctor's saying that everything has become simpler because of intelligence, then the doctor's work does sound simpler than before. a lot of.
But if you ask the old doctor carefully, he will definitely list a laundry list of difficulties and hardships in his work.
But Jin Zhiying just thought in her heart and dared not speak out.
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blindly tolerated and obeyed, did not dare to express her true thoughts, and could not be her true self, making Jin Zhiying increasingly unhappy.
This is also the reason for her depression.
"Luo Dalun said: In our life, all the aggrieved emotions will be truthfully recorded by the body, accumulated over time, and finally explode at a certain moment."
If it is not expressed, it does not mean that it does not exist.
02
grew up in a healthy family and went to college. What makes Kim Ji-young blindly suppress herself and swallow her anger?
First of all, it is Kim Ji-young’s family growth experience. There are three siblings. Since childhood, the sisters have been treated completely differently from their younger brothers. For example, when Kim Ji-young and her sister stole a spoonful of their brother's milk powder, their grandmother slapped them on the back so hard that the milk powder spurted out of their noses.
Because grandma believes that only the younger brother, who is a boy, is qualified to eat expensive milk powder, and the two sisters are obviously not qualified.
Whenever there is something delicious at home, the younger brother always takes priority. If there are two umbrellas, the younger brother will hold one alone, and Jin Zhiying and his sister will hold one. One bed, one snack for each brother, and Jin Zhiying always shared one with her sister.
In this family, apart from the father, the younger brother is the supreme symbol.
The patriarchal mentality made Jin Zhiying unfairly treated from the beginning.
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Over time, she also formed the idea that her younger brother is important and her own ideas are unimportant.
The second is the experience of the study environment. The school stipulates that girls can only wear leather shoes, while boys can wear leather shoes, sports shoes, football shoes, and jogging shoes. Girls can only wear prescribed shirts and skirts, and boys can wear cotton crew-neck shirts at will.
The teacher’s explanation for this is that boys like sports and have to move all the time.
Physical education classes are not only for boys. Girls also need to take physical education classes, but the school will not consider the situation of girls.
Boys can do it, but girls can’t. Ultimately, it’s because of the idea that men are superior to women.
Furthermore, Kim Ji-young’s workplace environment experience. The company where Jin Zhiying joined had good long-term projects and gave priority to male colleagues. Even if Jin Zhiying and some qualified female seniors applied, it would not help.
For some difficult customers, they will be handed over to Jin Zhiying and other female colleagues. And male colleagues generally earn higher salaries than female colleagues.
The reason is that male colleagues who have stayed in the company for a long time cannot be pushed too hard and make them do hard work.
The company believes that female colleagues will have to get married and have children in the future, which will affect their work or even leave the workplace, while male colleagues are the main force in the company's development. They can serve the company for a long time, so the benefits will naturally be given to them.
Whether it is the family environment, the school environment, or the workplace environment, Korean society in the Kim Ji-young era had values that favored boys over girls.
Men are given priority in everything, resulting in most women being submissive and afraid to fight for their own rights and speak out for themselves.
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"Gibran said: The corner stone of the hall is not higher than the lowest cornerstone."
Their materials are all stones, but they are used in different places.
Men and women are just gender differences, they are equal individuals.
03
Even if the general environment is like this, there are always individual women who dare to face injustice, express their ideas, do what they want to do, and strive for their own rights.
For example, in the book, Kim Ji-young’s mother, Ms. Oh Mi-sook, although her husband is a civil servant and has a fixed salary, she still has difficulty coping with the expenses of a family of six. So she took on odd jobs at home: cutting threads, assembling cartons, and rolling sealing strips to improve her home.
was inspired to learn hairdressing because of someone else's praise for his cleverness and skill. He has been doing haircuts for young and old in the community, and his business has been good. Invest in financial management and buy a house, so that the whole family can have a bigger house.Because
saw the business opportunities around the newly built hospital, he bought the shops along the street and opened a porridge shop. The business was booming and he made money that he had never made before.
Faced with her husband's bragging, she even more confidently claimed that she took seven percent of the credit for the family and her husband took three thirds.
She has this confidence because what she stated is the truth.
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At that time, because she supported her two brothers, one brother went to school. She dropped out of school after elementary school, and she and her sister began to make money to support the family. Despite this, she still relied on hard work to complete self-study. High school studies.
Wu Meishu did not bow to social reality. She fought for a possible new life on her own and changed her life.
She took the initiative to fight for all of this from her fate.
Blind tolerance will only lead to self-abandonment. Dare to speak out and dare to fight for yourself is the only way to break the imprisonment. Another person in the book
who dares to speak up for herself is the girl who protests to her teacher why girls can’t wear sneakers and round-neck cotton shirts like boys. He was punished corporally for his suggestion, but in the end the teacher gradually relaxed his standards.
also has Kim Ji-young as the team leader. She works as hard as men in the workplace, and even pays more. She encouraged Jin Zhiying not to make coffee or clear the plates for everyone, but to do her own job well.
She fought for parental leave for her colleagues and sent flowers to her female colleagues who came back from a year's leave.
She strives to fight for the rights and interests that every woman in the company deserves.
Although the social environment has caused various inequalities between women and men, there are always some women who bravely contend with it, and in the end, the gender differences are more or less changed and narrowed.
It is precisely because of the struggle of these brave ladies that today we are able to achieve more and more equality between men and women.
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Lu Yao said: "You cannot wait for others to arrange your life, you have to fight and fight for it yourself!"
If you fight and work hard, everything will have the results it deserves.
04
Finally, I would like to end with the opening sentence of this book:
"I sincerely hope that every daughter in the world can embrace bigger and more unlimited dreams."
Although external conditions are constrained, we can ourselves Fight for.
If the egg is broken by external force, that is the end of life; if the egg is broken by internal force, that is the beginning of life.
The power to break the shell has always been in our own hands.
hopes that every Jin Zhiying can be brave enough to be themselves, be themselves, and live out themselves.
It's up to you whether you accept your fate or change it.
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