There is no doubt that every parent wants to be a good parent.
And this "good" standard varies from person to person.
Some parents may think that it is a good parent to take care of their children and not let their children suffer and be affected;
conversely, some parents think that it is a good parent to let their children suffer and exercise their children;
some parents may think that they should accompany their children to study , Do your homework, let your children face the tiresome homework and don't work alone. It is a good parent. On the contrary, some parents think that it is a good parent not to accompany their children to study and do homework, and let them learn to be independent; some parents of
think that letting their children meet the world is a good parent. On the contrary, some parents think that it is a good parent to keep their children safe from wind and rain.
Who wants to be a good parent, what should we do to be truly good? We strive to be good parents. Have we overlooked anything but didn't realize it?
Here, we share 7 principles:
1
We don't let children experience risks
We live in a crisis-ridden world. The principle of "safety first" allows us to live in fear of losing our children, so we do our best to protect them. Although this is an obligation as a parent, this behavior has negative effects.
European psychologists have found that if a child has no "falling" experience, he is more likely to suffer from phobias in adulthood.
In fact, children need to experience setbacks to improve their understanding of the world, just as it is difficult for a person to achieve emotional maturity without experiencing a breakup.
If parents let their children avoid any risks completely, then the child will become an arrogant person, not a good leader.
2
Our help comes too fast.
Due to the excessive help and guidance of parents, today's young people lack some essential life skills. When we give children too much guidance, we deprive them of the precious experience of finding solutions through numerous difficulties.
In other words, this practice makes children lack a necessary exercise and experience, which makes them gradually stay away from becoming a good leader.
Gradually, children get used to waiting for help from others when facing difficulties.
But in the adult world, things are not always so beautiful. In other words, this approach weakens the competitiveness of children.
3
We praise our children too much
We often encourage children to be self-confident people. This trend of thought has been popular for a long time. In the 1880s, this trend of thought appeared in the school education system.
When children join a small baseball team, you can find that each of them is a winner. People seem to naturally think that this approach will greatly encourage children and help them build self-confidence.
However, investigations and studies show that this approach is counterproductive.
Children often observe that no one praises them except their parents. At this time, they will question the objectivity of their parents.
Gradually, they learned to lie, exaggerate, and whitewash-all this happened because they had never faced the real reality.
4
We build love on a material basis.
Children do not necessarily need to be loved every second. Children may be able to recover from disappointment, but they may not be able to resist the negative effects of doting.
so boldly say "no" to them and let them work hard for what they want. As parents, we tend to meet all their needs when rewarding children.
When there are multiple children in the family, we may even feel that it is unfair to praise only one and ignore the others. But this is not right.
Next time, remember not to tell them that the reward for getting a high score in the exam is to go shopping spree in the mall. If your relationship with your child is based on material foundations, the child will not be used to "materialless" love.
5
We do not share our past mistakes with our children.
Children who grow up in a healthy way are embracing the world with their wings. As adults, parents must lead them, but this does not mean that we can be meticulous in all aspects.
So, share you with themMistakes made at their age can help them make the right choices in similar situations (avoid "negative lessons" such as smoking, drinking, and taking drugs).
Similarly, children must learn to take responsibility, especially when they do something wrong. Tell them how you felt when facing the same situation, and tell them what you learned from these things.
6
We mistakenly regard being smart,
talented and influential as mature
"smart", "gifted" or "influential" are commonly used criteria for judging maturity. Therefore, parents often think Smart children are mature enough.
This is incorrect.
Children with high IQ cannot be said to be unwise, but they may not be mature.
7
We did not lead by example
as parents, it is our responsibility to lead by example and become a role model for our children. In order for children to be independent, honest and caring, we must do this.
As the leader of the family, we can start with "say and do it". At the same time, pay special attention to details-kids will definitely notice these.
If you don't "cut corners", then children will know that they can't do it.
See you again in the next issue, thank you.
