But in fact, for a child, setting up rules for him before doing something will make the child feel safer. This is more important than when we always comfort our children after they "make mistakes", because no one wants to live in a world where they "make mistakes". Compared with being gentle after doing something wrong, a child needs more affirmation, because more affirmation can improve self-esteem.
Children after 3 years old will be more and more concerned about their self-esteem. For example, the child knows that her mother does not want her to eat a lot of snacks, so she does not choose to eat in front of her mother. This is to maintain her self-esteem in front of her mother; similarly, when she eats secretly, she finds that her mother sees it. Putting it down quickly was also because he didn't want to lose his sense of self-esteem in front of his mother.
This is actually the same as the fact that children can lie. For young children, lying is not a personality or moral problem, but a behavior of their self-protection mechanism. Baby
has an instinct from birth-to please the authoritative person in front of him. At about 1 year old, he still can’t realize the consequences of his behavior. After the age of two, the child can associate the "meal everywhere" with "mother upset". In order to avoid being trained, he will say "This is not me Got it."
This actually marks the further maturity of the child's brain, which can use language to cover up behavior. We must know that children under the age of 6 can rarely distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality. In fact, when a child lies before the age of 4, it is often just a story he has heard and what he saw through imagination, with obvious traces of fantasy.
If they lie for the first time, we face it with a relaxed mood, understand with gentle language, and guide with a firm attitude. Even if similar things happen in the future, it will never become a vicious event. In fact, dealing with the problem of children's lying also reflects a realistic problem of education: we are used to labeling children's behavior with black and white thinking.
wants to correct the child’s "out-of-the-box" behavior. A full understanding of the child’s psychology is the first step.
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