Adler said: An unfortunate childhood requires a lifetime to heal.
Humanism divides a person's childhood (0 to 18 years old) into six stages. I will talk about the impact of these six important stages on a child’s life through six times.
The first stage is 0-1.5 years old. It is the foundation of a person, like a seed planted in the soil. This stage is the stage of establishing a sense of security. The most important time to give a child a sense of security is this stage. Everyone is like a tree of life, with the deeper the roots, the more firmly they are, and the higher they are, the more luxuriant they are. A person’s sense of security is the most important thing, it is the psychological foundation for physical and mental health and a sound personality.
If a child lacks a sense of security, he is prone to inferiority. He always feels that he is weak, always wants to become very strong, but he feels that he is not good enough, and his inner self is full of contradictions. Sensitive and fragile, very clingy, easy to cry, like to stick tightly to my mother, and even dare not sleep alone after going to school. Fear of new environments, new interpersonal relationships, and even don't like to date people. Children with insecure are prone to aggressiveness, including verbal attacks. They will regard pointing out as accusation and will be negative about everything. These are all self-protection mechanism caused by inferiority complex.
Mother thinks he is a mother from the moment he knows that he is pregnant, while father thinks he is a father from the moment the child is born. The baby met his mother first and then met his father ten months later. Compared with fathers, mothers and children have a closer relationship. Often, mothers spend more time with their children than their fathers.
A child obtains nutrition through the umbilical cord in his mother's uterus and feels his mother's emotions. Within six months of birth, the child still feels that he and his mother are one. Children pass on their inner rhythm to their mother through the invisible energy cord. This mutually connected energy state will make the mother and son have emotional resonance , which is what we call mother and son connected to heart. The child also uses this resonance to physically check the mother's response to him, thus forming different attachment relationships. The attachment pattern between the young child and the primary caregiver during early parenting will affect the formation of the child's personality.
Within eighteen months, mothers can meet their children's needs well and make them build an inner sense of security. Such children will often be confident and responsible when they grow up. If the mother rarely spends her time with her child, the child will miss the best period for establishing a sense of security. Children who fail to establish a good attachment relationship with their mothers in early childhood will show a violent and aggressive side when they grow up, especially when rejection can affect their children more strongly and lastingly.
