Hello everyone, I am Mumuyi, a Hunan girl who has been drifting for six years. Before I was 30 years old, I had been living an ordinary and happy single life in my hometown. A relationship with my husband after the age of 30 made me come to Shenzhen and start a life of hard work in a foreign land.
Time flies, I have been in Shenzhen for five years, and my work and life have long been on the right track. Seeing my colleagues who are younger than me have cute babies one by one, I don’t know when, but my heart also began to look forward to hoping to have a baby of my own.
Be careful, start happily
Maybe it is because both parties are older, or maybe it is because the pressure of work has not adjusted to a good state of body and mind, and the days of pregnancy preparation are more difficult than we imagined. Although my husband tried to quit smoking and I also conducted various examinations, focusing on physical care, there was never good news.
The repeated failures made us realize that we could not wait all the time, so we decided to realize our wish to be a parent through test tubes. Friends who have experienced it know that this is an extremely difficult road, and they are under tremendous pressure both physically, mentally and financially.
I am a person with strong tolerance. I don’t have much fear when I get blood drawn, injecting inducing injections, and even egg retrieval. On the contrary, during the days of , I have witnessed too many blessings and misfortunes and met many sisters. We communicated and encouraged each other and were firm in our hearts!
2021 December 1st is my transplantation day, two fresh embryos of good grades. Although the waiting days are "long", I am still full of faith and expecting the little guy to take root in my stomach.
This time I was lucky. I had a pregnancy test 12 days after the transplant, and beautiful red parallel bars, I finally got pregnant! Although has been around for so long, I still remember the excitement and joy at that time.
Guanguan is sad, Guanguan passes through
test tube implantation is just the beginning, and the later levels are waiting for me step by step. Take all kinds of fetal protection drugs, and you cannot stop taking medication for basic diseases. There are also injections such as low-molecular heparin. The stomach is green and purple, and the buttocks are hard and swelling. No matter how much hot towels or potato slices are applied, it will be useless.
passes through the checkpoint, HCG double blood test, B ultrasound intrauterine extrauterine examination, fetal heart and fetal bud examination, etc. Every B-ultrasound of the baby shows that he is growing up step by step, and I, as an old mother, gradually let go of my heart knot.
Be careful to get through the early dangerous period. I was close to NT checkups, but due to the impact of the epidemic, I was unable to go to the registered hospital and could only apply for NT checkups in a nearby small hospital. Fortunately, everything was normal.
I thought there was still a chance, but I didn’t expect this to be the only photo I had with my baby
My happiness came to an abrupt end
April 12, 2022 is the day of three-dimensional inspection. I changed into my "green battle suit" and went out early, hoping that the prenatal examination will be as green as before.
Perhaps the baby in question has some special abilities and is desperately blocking it, not wanting people to find his uniqueness. The examination did not go smoothly. In order not to delay other pregnant mothers' visits, I could only go out for a walk first.
I became more anxious when I was walking, and I always felt uneasy in the dark. My husband said I thought too much. A kind person like me can at least have some protection even without God’s favor.
A hour later, I returned to the clinic again, lay on the hospital bed, watching the doctor spinning around my stomach, praying for all the safety of my baby.
It’s a pity that the doctor asked me whether I had been sick during pregnancy and asked me to know the result, so that the department director’s re-diagnosis and comfort me was already at a loss. There is no heart-wrenching wail, only tears flow freely.
Because the baby has facial deformities, I was transferred to the prenatal diagnosis department. In the next few days, I dragged my big belly and went to several children's hospitals for with my husband, hoping to learn more about the baby's diagnosis and treatment, cycle and effect.
is a pity, we did not receive a completely affirmative answer. , but what is certain is that this will be a long battle. Although is not life-threatening, he will go through many hardships in his future growth process.
I actually know very well that when I learned that the baby was not good, my husband had already made up his mind to give up. And the running around these days is nothing more than satisfying my unwillingness and reluctance.
Once upon a time I had complaints about my husband and wanted to convince him to keep the baby. But rationality ultimately defeats emotions, or I don’t have enough courage to support my baby’s future.
When I think of him needing to go through a series of diagnosis and treatment, facing up to his own differences, and relieving other people's strange eyes and ridicule, I was heartbroken, scared, selfish, and retreated.
I especially admire those mothers who still stick to the road and devote all their enthusiasm and love even if they have special children. Compared with them, is so small.
can’t say anything, I say goodbye to love
4 on April 18th I was officially admitted to the hospital. Patients with induced labor, amniotic fluid puncture and abortion were all waiting in the same large area for the treatment. Everyone had their own thoughts and were quietly waiting for the call.
At this moment, I hope time can go slower, and I want to stay with my baby for a while. I clearly felt that he was kicking me and acting coquettishly with me. My poor child didn't know that the next moment he would leave his mother and sleep forever.
I didn't want to come after all. After hearing the call, I walked into the clinic and lay down. The doctor held a long thin needle and stabbed it into my stomach under the guidance of the B-ultrasound. I understand that at this moment I will say goodbye to my baby, I will lose him forever .
painful battle, encounter and parting
April 19, 2022, a day that I will always remember in this life. As noon approached, my lower abdomen was in severe pain. The medical staff quickly pushed me into the labor room, and the doctor only opened one finger when I checked the cervix.
Next I was alone in the delivery room, curled up and trembling. During this period, my husband called me and I couldn't answer because my hands were holding the handrail beside the bed, resisting the repeated severe pain.
I don’t know how long it took, but I suddenly had an urge to defecate. With the help of the midwife, a warm current gushed out, and I felt relaxed in an instant. The midwife told me that the amniotic fluid was broken, but the baby, , placenta, , has not come out yet, and needs to continue waiting.
You come here for a while, I'm thinking for a lifetime
Time passes minute by minute, and I'm the only one who's left in the delivery room to fight alone. I know that other pregnant mothers need help in the labor room. They will give birth to a living baby, and my baby has already stopped his heartbeat.
After three hours, the feeling of defecation appeared again. I used all my strength to ring the bedside bell, and the midwife was in place quickly. Following the instructions, I performed step by step force movements. Finally, a ball of flesh broke through the body and the baby was born.
After inducing labor, there was an observation period before the Qing dynasty. The doctor kindly reminded me not to look at the baby to avoid psychological shadows. I looked at the ceiling and asked the doctor about the baby's gender. Baby boy, it turns out that my child is a well-behaved little boy .
Hello, my boy!
Goodbye, my baby!
Today is my official post on Toutiao. I don’t sell my misery. I just want to use words to record this unforgettable part of my life. welcomes the dawn with love and longing.
Now I am working hard to get out of the haze step by step, and I also hope to help the sisters who have the same experience as me through the Toutiao platform to get a little comfort. We will join forces to keep warm and strive to get out of the haze as soon as possible!
Life kisses me with pain, I still want to repay it with song
Thank you for your every attention and message
