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With the development of physiology and psychology, children come into contact with more and more things, and their curiosity and desire to explore are getting stronger and stronger. They are no longer satisfied with simple sensory experiences such as vision, hearing, and touch, but have higher levels of psychological needs. These needs will be manifested through actions.
As the closest parent to children, must see the essence through phenomena and be good at understanding the psychological needs of children in their hearts.
Generally speaking, there are five main types of psychological needs of children. Do you know what you know?
(I) Emotional dependence needs
This psychological need will be more obvious in infancy. In infancy, the most important aspect of social development is the formation of attachment.
The book "Overall Parenting" suggests that to allow babies to build trust in their mothers (main caregivers), the first thing is to give their children regular, reliable and timely care. Create a warm and stable family environment for children.
Only with the secure attachment to the people around you and with strong psychological support can children remain curious about new things and explore more actively about what they are around you.
psychologist Mary Angworth summarized four attachment types that one-year-old children usually show through unfamiliar situation experiments: security type, avoidance type , contradiction type and confusion type. Only when a child forms a safe attachment to the main caregiver, the child's sense of security will develop well.
Moreover, long-term follow-up studies have found that the impact of early attachment on children is persistent. Children with safe attachment in the early stage will show stronger curiosity when going to kindergarten, elementary school and middle school, have a better relationship with their peers and teachers.
Parents may find that when the child reaches two or three years old, they will act particularly tangled, just like a little tail. He follows him wherever he goes.
Some parents think they are so old that they should cultivate their children's independence, so they educate their children in the most traditional way and refuse to let them play on their own. In fact, this will make the child feel insecure and will not be conducive to the child's growth.
When children were young, they were constantly getting to know and establishing close relationships with their mothers. If the mother was eager to cultivate their child’s independence, the child would feel uncertain whether the mother loved me. In this case, the more likely the child will stick to it. The more parents don’t accompany you, the more dependent your child will be.
At this time, you might as well spend more time with your child, meet your emotional needs, and give your love to . As children develop their self-concept, they gradually have independent needs, and parents can gradually let go.
(II) The need for belonging
After supper, I saw my mother mopping the floor, 6-year-old Qiqi walked in and wanted to help her mop. The mother felt that the child was still young and was worried that he would not do well. Just say I'll drag it myself, you can go and play for a while. Qiqi walked away a little depressedly. After
, one time my mother was very busy and wanted Qiqi to help with housework. Qiqi said directly that she didn't want to do it. My mother said Qiqi was too lazy and was so big that she was unwilling to do simple housework.
Why did Qiqi not want to do housework afterwards?
When Qiqi first wanted to mop the floor, her mother refused because she was worried that he would not do well, and the child would feel that she could not do well. would feel that she could not do well. After that, he was no longer interested in continuing.
Everyone hopes that they can integrate into the group, which is a sense of belonging. The child hopes to get recognition and recognition from his parents, so that he can better understand his position in the family. When this enthusiasm is destroyed at the beginning, the child will be reluctant to try again.
So, in daily life, we should provide children with some appropriate exercise opportunities for as much as possible . Let the child know that he is also an indispensable part of this family. After is finished, give some affirmation and encouragement in time, so that the child will realize from the bottom of his heart that he is useful. This family needs him to be satisfied with the sense of belonging.
(III) The need to get attention
Although the child is older, we don’t have to worry about everything in detail like when we were young. If the child has more time to be alone, it does not mean that he does not need it.
Xixi's mother was busy for a day and was about to prepare supper when she got home. When Qianxi, who was playing in the living room, saw her mother coming back and kept asking her to play with her. Her mother said she wanted to cook, so she went straight to the kitchen.
While washing vegetables, he suddenly heard a "pop" outside. Xixi's mother hurried out and saw the flower pot on the living room cabinet falling to the ground and breaking it.
"What's wrong with you? Why are you so careless?" Xixi's mother couldn't help but shouted angrily.
Xiqi lowered her head, not knowing what she was thinking.
When parents always have no time to accompany their children and their emotional needs are not satisfied, may attract parents' attention by damaging them.
In the eyes of children, although cannot get "love", it is also a good thing to get attention to . At this time, you must understand your child’s inner needs through your child’s behavior. Once they have bad behaviors, they must analyze the causes through behaviors and meet the child’s psychological needs in a targeted manner.
(IV) Need to be affirmed
For young children, parents' evaluation and encouragement are very important. Often giving children affirmation and encouragement at an early age will help them establish a more positive self-evaluation.
No matter what the child’s academic performance is, as long as the attitude is good, you can encourage them more, motivate them, and enhance their self-confidence. Tell him that he is the best in his parents' hearts.
If the child is excellent but not confident, he should encourage him more. Parents’ support is a powerful driving force for his children’s growth.
(V) Respected need
After the age of two, the child gradually becomes aware of autonomy and likes to make decisions according to his own ideas. At this stage, some small things can be done according to the child’s ideas. Give your child the right to choose and make decisions, and don’t always treat his or her condescending attitude. Adults need respect, and so do children.
For example, what clothes to wear and where to play on weekends, you can solicit children's opinions by making choices.
When dealing with items related to your baby, remember to ask your child in advance. If you want to give your child’s toys, you must discuss with him in advance which toys can be given. If the child is unwilling, don’t force him.
If the child is disobedient, learn to stand from the child's perspective and think about what he thinks. How do they be more acceptable?
and above are common needs for children before the age of 6. If you analyze it carefully, you will find that these needs are also a reflection of Maslow's hierarchy theory.
According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs , human needs can be divided into five categories: physiological needs, safety needs, belonging and love needs, respect needs and self-realization needs. From the lower level to the higher level in turn, as shown in the figure.
In the view of Maslow , there are two different needs in the human value system. One is the biological instinct, called low-level needs, including physiological needs and safety needs; the other is the potential or need gradually revealed by biological evolution, referred to as high-level needs.
Few people can achieve the need for self-realization, and the need for belonging and love (emotional needs) and respect are both advanced needs, and this need exists in early childhood.
Some requirements are inherent. Parents need to learn to observe their children's behavior and understand their psychological needs in order to pay better attention to their children and accompany their children to grow up healthily and happily.
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I am Yingma, a family education instructor, a parenting expert, and a high-quality creator on multiple platforms, focusing on sharing parenting information and children's early childhood education psychological knowledge. I like words and share, I write my heart by hand, remember to follow and forward it if you like it!
