Does parents have such experiences:
It takes him to call him 10 times when he wakes up in the morning;
It takes an hour to pack up and dress out;
During homework routinely, it is difficult to do his homework;
It takes several minutes to start eating, and it can’t be finished in an hour...
As parents, they are all angry because of their children’s procrastination and procrastination problems, and even have acted, and they are anxious, but they are calm and quiet.
In fact, children don’t want to be sad and angry again and again because of our urging, but for them, they really can’t keep up with us.
Writer Zhang Wenliang wrote a prose poem called "Train a Snail for a Walk" :
God gave me a task and asked me to take a Snail for a Walk.
I can't walk too fast, the snail has tried its best to climb, and always moves a little bit every time.
I urged it, I beg it, I blame it, the snail looked at me with apologetic eyes, as if saying, "I have done my best!"
I pulled it, I pulled it, I even wanted to kick it, the snail was injured, it sweated, gasped, and crawled forward...
This poem is like the relationship between us and our children. The child is the slow snail, and the parents are the one who urged, bluffed, and blamed him.
Many times, it is not that the child does not want to do it fast or well, but that his ability is only like this, and he can't meet the requirements of his parents even if he tries his best.
For example:
When he is 5 years old, it takes more than ten minutes to take off his clothes. We will think that he is too slow, but we don’t know how difficult it is for him to unbutton the delicate action of unbuttoning.
When he is 7 years old, he can't sleep on time. We will scold him for being slow, but we don't know that in the hearts of children, the concept of time cannot be established.
When he is 10 years old, he will not focus for more than 20 minutes each time he does his homework. We will anger him not be serious, but do not know the child's attention, so it is not so easy to concentrate.
In fact, during the process of growing up, a child is a "snail".
There is such a news:
A mother in Baoding, Hebei was angry and cried when she was tutoring her kindergarten son for homework.
The child is in kindergarten. The mother teaches the child to write and asks the child to write in spaces, but the child can't learn it no matter how hard he insists on writing it side by side, and he is so anxious that he wipes his tears.
Mom was angry and distressed when she saw her child crying, and couldn't help crying with her child.
Many times, parents are used to judging their children with adult standards, but forget that they have their own growth rules in their small world.
Instead of chasing children as rabbits, it is better to raise children as snails.
Raising a child is like taking a walk with a snail. It is a process that requires a lot of patience. Excessive anxiety, impatience, and too much urging will only disrupt the rhythm of children's growth.
So for children, we all have the courage to "slow down".
When we no longer scold children for their "slowness", we will find that there are actually many scientific solutions to teach children.
01
When a child is slowing down, he can use methods to change his habits
As there is a saying: "The child's hardship is not a disease, and the parents who are urging are the most deadly."
Faced with the problem of being slowed down by children, instead of urging them, try this method:
Set up the concept of time for children
Use Alarm clock , watches and other tools to "visualize" time, so that children can build The concept of hours and minutes.
Assign tasks to children simply and clearly
Because children's memory and understanding are still relatively poor, when you issue a series of instructions, such as "wiping the table, packing your schoolbag, wearing shoes, and going out quickly", the child's first reaction is not "I want to hurry up", but "Which the hell am I going to do? ”
So, you must make the instruction clear.
Appropriately let the child experience the consequences of being slowed down. For example, when he is late for school several times and is criticized by the teacher, he will naturally understand that he should increase his speed and let him experience the impact of the consequences in order to remember this matter.
02
When a child falls behind, he can give him some space to grow
html l0Black Young Dragon Mr. once said this:
Parents can easily think that their children have poor academic performance and have no hope. In fact, if they do slow raising, such children may be better in the future.
As a father who sent all four children to famous universities, Black Young Dragon always adheres to the educational philosophy of " slow raising " in the education of their children.
The second country has been established since childhood "The Demon King of the World" was 0 points when he was a child. Hei Youlong comforted him: you will make progress next time.
The grades of senior high school have not improved yet but want to be a garbage truck driver. Hei Youlong thinks nothing is wrong. Even if he gets into trouble outside, Hei Youlong still told him: is okay, we can change it slowly.
In the patience and tolerance of parents, the country that was originally the least favored, has turned into an elite in the industry.
The growth of a child is not achieved overnight It is a step-by-step process. When a child completes a task, it is the most natural and independent learning method he adopts.
When the child is behind, as parents, we might as well give them more time, rely on their own exploration, learn solid lessons, and they will definitely walk more steadily.
03
as slow as a snail, and you should also give your child unconditional love
If a third-grade child writes an essay and cannot write 20 words in a morning, what would you think?
"He must be too slow, this child is too stupid!" I believe many parents will think so.
In the documentary "I'm Not a Stupid Child", there is such a boy named school. However, his "slowness" is not because of his stupidity and procrastination, but because of his innate physiological defects - dyslexia .
In the documentary, the mother of the school said this sentence in the end, from the initial incomprehension to the final real acceptance, facing the child's situation.
She said : "Children, without this problem, there will be that problem, there will always be a problem for you!"
As parents, we grow step by step in various problems. While truly understanding children, I found that snails who have tried their best will have enough shining points, and they are self-disciplined, sincere, and hard-working enough.
Although fate has given this family many hardships, their parents are not anxious or impatient and persistent in love, and have always been with the school.
Psychologist Rogers said:
Love is a deep understanding and acceptance, and it is also a deep healing.
Just like in "Child, Take Your Slow": "I am willing to wait for the rest of my life to let him ligate this bow calmly, use his five-year-old finger, child, take your time, take your time."
May all parents can let go of "acceleration education", let children take every step steadily, and spend their unique childhood carefree; may every parent understand the growth rules of their children, accompany their children's life with love, so that this slow snail can grow up happily.
Children who are watered by love will definitely go more steadily and further.
If your child also has the habit of procrastinating and procrastinating, please feel free to discuss it in the comment section`
