A few days ago, the video account posted several posts about "Chongqing boy jumping off a bridge", which made me feel uncomfortable. Thinking about my only daughter, I prayed silently: I hope the search and rescue can be successful, I hope the child can survive, and I hope my par

Author: Jie Liang

A few days ago, the video account posted several posts about "Chongqing Teenage Jumping off a Bridge", which made me feel uncomfortable. Thinking about my only daughter, I silently prayed: I hope the search and rescue can be successful, and I hope the child can survive. , I hope my parents won’t be heartbroken. Then I thought of a sentence in the translator's preface to the book "Self-driven Growth": "If a person cannot live the life he wants, he will destroy his life in the form of his own decision, because This at least proves that 'my life is still under control'."

Currently anxious Chinese parents usually focus on a certain goal. In order to achieve this goal, parents try their best to remove obstacles for their children, but inevitably have to control their children. But where is the “end” of this goal? How can parents remove all obstacles on behalf of their children? How can parents’ control bring about more violent resistance from children?

As the book says, all parents want their children to succeed, but psychology and brain science tell us that only "competence" and "sense of control" can promote children's autonomous motivation, and then in her or brain science The field in which he is interested obtains the best performance that his best efforts can bring.

The two authors of this book are Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist, a member of the Children's National Medical Center, and a faculty member at the George Washington University School of Medicine, and Ned Johnson, a family counselor in Washington, DC. Founder of the company PrepMatters and has given numerous presentations on family and child coaching. They have helped countless children from the perspectives of brain science and behavioral science . They jointly wrote this book to try to solve an essential problem: How to help children gain a sense of control over themselves? How to help them find the self-driving force of and and fully realize their potential?

Therefore, they started from the study of stress feelings and behavioral motivations, and combined a large number of actual cases to explore the sense of control. My biggest feeling when reading this book is that the content in the book combines scientific basis and practical cases, and also balances the relationship between "management" and "release".

is not a book of suspended theories, nor is it a collection of exaggerated small sample cases. It told me that stress has both positive and negative effects, and how to reduce the harm of toxic stress to children; it told me that parents should set appropriate intervention boundaries and give principles and strategies for setting boundaries; it told me how to gradually Let go of this boundary, but parents can also step in if the child really can't deal with the challenge rationally; it tells me that the brain needs "downtime" to reduce the pressure on children to face homework and exams, and in fact it can also make them more comfortable. Perform better on tests; it taught me how to “tame the beast of technology” and reduce the harm that new technologies do to our ability to self-regulate and executive function. I can't list

here. I hope I can read this book with you and experience and practice the inspiration this book brings to us.

What is particularly worth mentioning is that at the end of each chapter of this book there is "What to do tonight". Although the author does not tell us "How long should my child practice piano every day" or "Should my child major in biology or college in college?" Art" specific answers to these questions, but it does provide step-by-step help on how to guide children step by step to find their love, goals and drive.

Raising children is probably one of the most difficult jobs in the world. I especially hope that I can be like what is written at the end of the book: become a role model, so that children can enter adulthood with the understanding of this role model. People get along with each other and further perceive themselves.

As for you in front of the screen, welcome to this teacher reading activity co-organized by Machinery Industry Press and Siyuan Reading Club. Together, we can become wiser parents and cultivate more loving children.

" Self-driven Growth: How to Scientifically and Effectively Cultivate Children's Self-Discipline "

Author: [American] William Stixrud Ned Johnson

This book provides cutting-edge knowledge of brain science and new trends in behavioral therapy Findings, case studies from thousands of children and teenagers, and concrete advice that readers can take action immediately teach you how to put your child on the path to self-discipline, self-control, and success. There is always a limit to what parents can do for their children, and at some point, children must act on their own. If a child does not have self-motivation from an early age, he may be eroded by stress later in life and face higher levels of physical and mental health risks. This book will give parents the tools they need to help their children live with confidence and find their own path.

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