The growth of a child is a long-distance marathon. There is an old Chinese saying, "When you are three years old, look at your older and look old at seven." This proverb vividly describes the general law of children’s psychological development. If external force is applied to him , It is very likely to cause a result of pulling out seedlings to promote growth.
I don’t know if we have the same experience. When we were young, our parents always liked to ask about our grades, and always liked to ask "Does the teacher understand?" When graduating from high school, some distant relatives and neighbors who never contacted I always like to ask "Which university did you go to?", and when waiting for you to graduate from college, I always ask "Where did you go to work?". After the overall environment and this tradition have been passed down, parents born in the 70s and 80s have paid special attention to the cultivation of their children. This is understandable, but why is it wrong? In the final analysis, there are two reasons. One is that too much hope has been poured into children and the general law of growth has been ignored. The second reason is that education is regarded as a sprint and there is only one champion. The root of parental anxiety is achievement theory. .
In fact, for children, different backgrounds have different starting points. For example, some families can create a better environment, and some families can't satisfy their children's desires more with frugality. What parents can see is nothing more than a relay race. Different families can only run fast on the first rod. You also have to see if you can catch the next three rods well and whether you can still have explosive power. This is also a parent. It's still hard to judge, not to mention that this is just a marathon. There is still room for growth for several decades in the future, and children will have the day when they grow up.
The principal of my alma mater (now to Taiyuan Gong) Zheng Qiang once said a sentence which is quite classic, "Chinese children are not lost at the starting line, but are Exhausted at the starting line!” We did not respect the general law of growth, and found that there are several situations in children today:
Children are catching up, and their abilities are getting lower and lower. This kind of parents constantly send their children to various tutoring classes (of course, now the double reduction policy is introduced,(The situation is less), some start to study Mathematical Olympiad in the third grade, and some continue to learn English after class. This kind of advanced education has some problems that even adults can’t solve, and even some math problems. If you don’t look at the answers, you will probably be in class. The teacher didn't know how to solve it. There are usually several results of this kind: A. Did not persist and gave up halfway. B. Did not persist and other abilities were reduced. C. Persist in and reduce other abilities. D. Persist in and improve other abilities. Come on, count the people around you and tell me what is the final answer for people around you? You know, according to statistics from Dashu, the vast majority of our children are not geniuses, and most of the children who come out of the remedial classes are not geniuses. There are already very few geniuses. No matter how you train them, the ratio of geniuses will not increase or increase. Will decrease.
itself is not something to do at this age. You study desperately, ignoring the cultivation of other abilities and ignoring the growth of your body. Tell me, will he be good at math in the future? Even if you learn it and become a nerd, you won’t be able to communicate with others in the future. Is that what you want? There are more and more such students.
The child is catching up, and the child is getting more and more rebellious. We all say that a certain game harms children. In fact, games not only make children addicted to games and dislike learning, but also reduce children's communicative ability. Looking back at the post-70s and post-80s what we mainly did when we were students, called jumping rubber bands, playing ball, playing glass balls, watching TV, playing games, hide-and-seek and other activities, writing letters, in fact, children who play with many friends outside, generally team Collaboration and communication skills are better than children nowadays. Every child in a different age group wants to try something, and apply external force according to your wishes, waiting for him to grow into the rebellious season, this time is enough for you. Come and come, you can count the number of children around you who are very good in elementary school and lagging behind in middle and high schools? It’s very common that I learned too much when I was a child, and I started playing games in junior high school. Is it normal? Is it normal to have less contact with elementary school and social life in elementary school?
Does a sapling grow? It's not how many times you pay at one time, but your frequency. We buy school district housing, send children to remedial classes, and send children to prestigious schools,In the final analysis, it is hoped that children have a good environment. It is not wrong to have a good environment, but it is important to understand that since the birth has been lost at the starting line, it is also the parents who want to catch up. How should parents catch up?
1. More companionship. Accompanying is the best education for children, and accompanying is leading education. No amount of material can be a substitute for company. I have conducted surveys and statistics. Since the day the child entered the kindergarten to work in the university, parents have less and less time to accompany their children and less and less time for communication, even though the Internet is now developed. Many parents accompany their children through V letters. Stop using busy work as an excuse. If you pay to send your child to a three-hour tutoring class a day, it is better to accompany your child for 20 minutes, even if you accompany your child to the next game of animal chess. In the company, words and deeds are an education to the child, and the child will unconsciously start to imitate and grow. How much water a wooden bucket can hold does not depend on the longest piece of wood, but on the short board. Only with companionship can you better and more carefully discover your child's short board, through parental education. Make up for that short board. You will find that no matter what educational background the parents are in, the longest time to accompany their children is in the early childhood period, and in the early childhood period, they will develop the children's habits. This should be continued. Accompanied?
Second, tree role models. No matter how good a child's grades are, it is impossible to become a talent if his values are not correct. The formation period of children's values is when they are young. Parents strive to set an example for their children, teach by precepts and deeds, so that the children's values can gradually develop. After the early work, a lot of things can be saved in the rebellious period. Role models can also replace part of the company time, such as police families and military families. Children generally use their parents as role models to form their own values. Similarly, many business people lack time to accompany. Children use their parents as an example to form their own values and pay attention to the gains and losses of their interests.
Third, learn together. Some people say that I have said so much, the child's grades are the key. Children in kindergarten should have begun to learn the Three-character Classic or the Analects of Confucius. To borrow an ancient saying, "When you enter, you will be filial, if you go out, you will be a brother, be sincere and believe, love others, and be kind and benevolent. It means that children must be filial in front of their parents,When you go out, you must respect and love your teachers, speak carefully, be true to your words, be friendly with everyone, and get close to those with a benevolent heart. If you do this, do you think grades are still the most important thing? Scores are a short-term gain. From the perspective of your life’s growth goals, if you are only academic, you can accompany your children to study together. The family develops a learning atmosphere, and develops a habit of studying and paying attention to rigor. I believe it will be improved.
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