text/can't remember the normal distribution of rose-se
Are you self-disciplined ? For example, every morning, get up at the right time and go to the gym after work, so that you can spend thousands of yuan to get the most of the fitness card. For example, before going to bed at night, I thought about swiping my phone for a while, but it turned out to be early in the morning and I couldn’t get up again in the morning.
We all have many goals for self-discipline, and we have even learned a lot of ways to develop self-discipline. But it’s just like many people have learned a lot of truths but still can’t live their own life well. We know a lot about why we need to be self-disciplined and self-disciplined, but we just can't do it. Being self-disciplined is what we want, but I just can't change it.
For example, one person said that he wanted to be self-disciplined and started to try it. When she was self-disciplined, she would reward herself to relax. As a result, the self-discipline plan that finally improved slightly was ruined again.
This is probably a problem faced by many people. The more you want to change , the more difficult it is to change. The first reason why
01 is difficult to change: The first reason why we are working hard to maintain the status quo
is difficult to change is that we are working hard to maintain the status quo, because change means going out of our comfort zone. How great is the comfort zone of
. After years of habit, you can handle it with some discomfort.
For example, you all know the self-discipline method, but your execution ability is very weak. We can find a lot of things for ourselves, such as my self-control is not good, and this method is too difficult.
In short, we can find ways to excuse ourselves, so that even if we stay in our comfort zone and don’t change, even if we are psychologically uncomfortable, we are familiar with it.
But if we change, we may face the need to maintain the change if the change is successful. For example, I was self-disciplined and couldn't get up in the morning. Now that I have become self-disciplined, I have to get up on time every morning. As humans, we are actually lazy in nature, and it is actually quite difficult to discipline ourselves every day. If we have been self-disciplined for a few days and cannot achieve self-discipline, we may be even more disappointed with ourselves.
Sometimes when you think about it, it’s better to be undisciplined. I have always been undisciplined, and I can also say, you see, I just can't do it, and I can't do it. But once we can achieve self-discipline and not do it, we will not even have excuses.
Under such subconsciousness, we will stay in the comfort zone of undisciplinedness, strive to not change of , or try to make some changes that will not succeed.
02 The second method that is difficult to change: to make changes in the second order, you cannot make changes in the first order
changes can be divided into two order changes.
The first order change refers to the change in the state of something. For example, I don’t have enough self-discipline. From today on, I will be a little more self-disciplined. This is the change in the first order. Its characteristic is that this thing or this person has not changed, but has just switched from state A to state B.
In order to achieve self-discipline, , is the first order change.
For example, I feel that I am not self-disciplined enough. When I received the task, I started to do it. I feel that I am a little more self-disciplined and I am not so dissatisfied with myself. When I finished on time, I breathed a sigh of relief and could reward myself. How to reward, go play games, and go to browse your phone. The result is that the method of solving problems and the method of self-discipline will ultimately lead to the inability to form self-discipline.
has said so much about the first order changes of the mouthwring, but the change cannot be achieved. So how should we change for self-discipline?
and the second order of is the change of this person or the thing itself. For example, I want to be a self-disciplined person and don’t drag things to the last moment every time.
Changes in the second order are more difficult than changes in the first order. The second order of change, simply put, is to change the person like a different person.
So if the change only occurs at the behavioral level, it will be difficult to maintain. Only when changes occur at the thinking level can it really happen.
03 Change the thinking mode and let the change occur
The first order change is the solution to the problem. For example, if you are not self-disciplined enough, then do some self-disciplined behaviors. The second order change is the solution itself for the first order, that is, to change the solution you are using now.
The second order change method is a bit unexpected. We no longer regard being unable to discipline ourselves as a problem, no longer require ourselves to be a self-disciplined person, but start to be a person who can do whatever we want.
You may say, isn't this more nonsense? But the way to change is often outside of conventional thinking. Change is to do things that you would never do before.
In the past, we had to be self-disciplined, and we thought of many ways to do some self-disciplined behaviors. Now, don’t ask for self-discipline, but just be able to complete tasks and no longer be persistent and self-disciplined.
You can try it. Anyway, if you cannot develop the habit of self-discipline at this stage, it is better to be a person who can do whatever you want and is not self-disciplined. To be honest, I don't know what will happen. All I can do is look at. Even if it doesn't work, you won't lose much.
04 Conclusion
Behind the inability to self-discipline is the comfort zone we don’t want to get out of.
But when we work hard to to do something to make ourselves self-disciplined, what is actually changed is only the state, that is, this is the change in the first order, and the change in the first order often solidifies the problem, and the result is that it becomes more and more unchanged.
The change in the second order is a change in the solution to the first order change. In the past, you wanted to be a self-disciplined person, but you could not do it after thinking about many ways. Now, you say, no matter what, I no longer regard self-discipline as a problem. As long as I do what I should do, I can be a person who can do whatever I want.
A very unfamiliar method, you can try it.
Author: Can't remember the normal distribution of rose color, a full-time mother who loves reading and studying, is often both Buddha and depressed, and occasionally proactive psychological counselor, the world and I love you. Some of the pictures are from the Internet and the copyright belongs to the original author. If you have any copyright issues, please contact me in time to deal with it. Original works may not be reproduced without authorization.
