Text/Xiamo
01, Volume Beginner
On the road of life, the fate between parents and children is like the relationship between kites and strings. As children grow older, parents must learn to slowly set the line so that their children can truly fly high.
The moment the children were born, their parents gave him 100% love.
Parents have endless thoughts about their children. No matter how old the child is, he feels that he should be the one who needs to be taken care of.
On the road of life, parents will devote themselves to giving their children infinite care, and they will unknowingly want to participate and plan their lives, wanting them to walk a smoother path in life.
People are old and need to be responsible for getting along with their children.
If parents and children get along without a sense of boundaries, it will not only be detrimental to their children's growth, but also consume their own blessings.
When people get old, the more they like to do the "three things" to their children, the more they will consume each other's blessings.
02. Interfere with children's decisions and take care of them carefully everywhere. The reason why parents interfere with their children's decisions is often because they are afraid that they will be hurt and want to give them more protection.
The children’s decisions may not be mature, and some things will not be considered too long and comprehensive. However, they should have their own judgment. As parents, you should not blindly oppose it or even force them to give up their ideas.
does not allow children to make decisions on their own. They will never find the way they want to go and do not know how to distinguish right from wrong.
In "Little She De", Tian Yulan gives her children good clothes and food, and enrolls in the best tutoring class, wanting her children to receive the best education.
She devoted most of her energy to her children, but the children were not happy.
Children like insects and like to play football. They don’t want to always face blackboard chalk and endless exercises. Tian Yulan hopes that the child can receive more and more certificates and trophies, and thinks that this is the most important thing.
There was a big conflict between mother and son, and the child became rebellious because he did not understand his mother's actions.
The mother and son don’t understand each other, and gradually there is a big gap. The child also has great problems due to the high psychological pressure.
Parents interfere with their children's decisions and care about them everywhere will lead to their inability to grow up independently and they will live a very tired life.
The love you think may be a serious harm to your children. Being with children cannot limit their free growth, cannot impose control, but should be effectively guided.
03. Relief your children and let them develop the habit of being lazy
In old age, as parents, don’t help their children all the time, let them develop the habit of being lazy and unprofitable.
Adult children should be responsible for their lives. If children always stay in an environment where they get nothing, they will often erase all their fighting spirit.
"Original Family" writes: "When you regard your parents' feelings as the basis for most of your life decisions, you are giving up your free choice. If your parents' feelings always take the lead in your heart, then your life will be controlled by them."
Children, if they cannot control their lives, it will be difficult for them to be independent and promising in their entire lives.
As a child, if he cannot remain independent after adulthood, he will reach out to his parents for money when encountering difficulties. He is always used to reaching out to ask for money. Such children will grow very slowly and cannot cultivate good qualities.
Children have their own mission and their own life route.
As parents, don’t live as an “ATM” for their children, but should develop the courage and confidence that children can face setbacks and sufferings independently in life and become a person who stands tall.
If, in his later years, parents will continue to help their children, not only will they consume their pension money and put themselves in a passive position, but it will also be difficult for their children to become independent and truly grow up.
04. If you take care of your children’s family, you will not feel the space.
There will always be many inconsistencies between parents and children.
If parents are too polite, they will not only not bring help to their children, but will also cause many conflicts and troubles in their relationship, which is not conducive to managing parent-child relationships.
Parents and children are a process that is drifting away.
As parents, love for their children must be principled, bottom line, and sense of boundaries. If you pay blindly and interfere too much in your children's lives, it will affect their independent cognition, thinking and behavioral abilities.
Many parents, after retirement, in order to share their children's lives, take care of their children's big and small things, and live like a "nanny", which is tiring and hard.
Moreover, as they pay more, their children gradually develop the habit of relying on themselves and do not know how to actively share housework and run their families.
People are old, don’t take care of big and small things for their children, learn to manage their lives well. If you have a sense of space between each other, you can get along more harmoniously.
In his later years, he gave their children more autonomy and allowed them to be responsible for their lives. If they are not given the opportunity to exercise, they will not grow and improve.
05. Summary
On the road of life, as parents, please do not overly "prefer" your children to avoid consuming each other's blessings.
Bi Shumin said: "I know how to thank my parents, but I don't follow blindly. I know how to thank the world, but I don't be afraid. I know how to thank myself, but I don't be narcissistic. I know how to thank my friends, but I don't rely on it. I know how to thank every seed and every wisp of breeze, and I also know that I should get up early to sow and walk with the wind."
On the road to getting old, as parents, you can love your children, but you can't spoil and don't make excessive efforts. knows how to let go at the right time, and children can grow better.
As a child, don’t take everything your parents give you for granted. Instead, we should be self-reliant and self-reliant, bravely pursue our own life, and rely on our own abilities to have a better life.
Both should have their own space and life to do what they want to do. Each of them manages their own lives and wins more happiness.
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Author: Xia Mo, a new emotional tutor, psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer on the entire network of over 1 billion, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotions, gender, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
